Community Forums

Reload this Page Community Forums > Breaking Up, Reconciliation & Coping > Breaks and Breaking Up

Have you ever had a breakup without yíall even dating?

Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

Like Tree2Likes
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 8th March 2018, 1:46 AM   #1
New Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 1
Have you ever had a breakup without yíall even dating?

I know this is ridiculous and a lot of people say that you canít fall in love with someone you have never met because there should be a physical connection. I understand that.
I met this guy on tinder and we live 900miles apart. It started innocently enough, he wasnít really my type but he captured my attention. We texted everyday, Every night that turned into FaceTime calls almost every night. We clicked. We share a lot of things in common, we shared jokes to each other, we laughed, thereís not a dull moment every time we talk. I found myself getting attached to this guy and confessed to him about my feelings and Iím glad that the feeling was mutual. We then started flirting, our online romance was in full swing. We exchanged I love youís and I miss youís like weíre bf/gfs. Expressed how much we are longing for each other. All the missing parts thatís been missing in my past long term relationships, I found it in him. Long story short, I invested too much emotions on him. Itís like, he has all the qualities a girl could ever ask for in a man. Btw he is in the Marine corps and stationed in Japan. He told me that he requested for extension in japan because his original date to go back to the US is in June. He requested for extension so that he could get 30 days of leave and so that he could come visit me. Weíve been talking for 5 months and we really had something good going on. Until last month, I felt like something was off, he hardly text anymore tho Iím still getting good morning texts from him and he never failed to check up on me at night before he goes to bed. I told him about whatís been bothering me and he apologized. He also told me that this time of the year theyíre busy and thereís a lot of training and his schedule is so ****ed up. He goes in to work at midnight and get off work around 17-1800. I understand that he needs to catch up on some sleep because he goes back into work at midnight. We argued a lot last month to the point where he lost his temper and threw his iPhone into the hallway and the screen were ****ed up. He told me that heís been trying his best to give me his attention but he felt like itís not enough and it made him feel really bad. He kept telling me that he really wants us to work. But Iím starting to feel like heís pulling away because he asked for space he told me that he has a lot going on with his job and he canít give me his 100% because he is in the field and canít give me time. He never failed to explain to me that with his job itís hard for him to give me his all. He also told me that before he joined the military he wasnít involved with anyone bc of this same exact reason until I came along and everything had changed. He got really attached and weíre too involved with each other to the point where he is hurting me bc he canít give me the attention that I wanted. I gave him space. We didnít speak for 3 days and then he finally came around and texted me and told me that Iíve been constantly on his mind and itís ****ing with his head for what he is putting me through and he wanted us to go back to where we were and work things out and told me how much I mean to him and truly donít wanna lose me. He never wanted to push me away or out of his life bc he doesnít wanna regret this in the end so heís taking this chance. I agreed. We were okay for a few days until he shut me out again. I tried to stay calm but after a few days of him not talking to him and seeing him that he can go online but canít take the time to hit me up pissed me off so I sent him a text and called him out for it. He didnít reply until the next day and told me that his extension got denied and he canít do this anymore, he doesnít wanna deal with this anymore, his extension got denied and thereís nothing he can give anymore. He told me that Iím a good person and Iím an amazing woman and Iím everything he ever wished for and I deserve the world but he canít give it to me because of his situation. He knows that Iím willing to wait and be patient but he said he canít see me hurting and heíd rather see me happy one day than for him to keep ****ing with my head. He was too cold when he texted me those and he also said he canít make me happy and heís not interested anymore and lost the connection bc we constantly argue. I didnít try to beg or plead. My last text was I told him that I will be out of his life and he never replied. I deleted him on social media. I literally cut him off but Iím still hoping that he would text or call and change his mind. Itís been 5 days and I havenít heard from him again.. I know that I should move on and just live my life or find someone who is closer to me. I also know that what we had wasnít real since itís an online relationship but the heartbreak and sense of loss Iím feeling right now are too real. I know itís crazy but Iím in pieces right now and I have no one to talk to about this because Iím sure my family and friends would find this really ridiculous considering the fact that weíve never met. I wish theyíd understand where Iím coming from. I was too emotionally invested in him. I am left having to mourn a relationship that wasnít actually one but I loved them like it was real. I was single for 7 years and only had 3 past long term relationships. All Iíve been craving for in a relationship I found it in him and Iím really devastated when he finally gave up on me. Any advice would help. Thanks
mtska is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th March 2018, 2:21 AM   #2
Established Member
todreaminblue's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: down under
Posts: 14,699
i mourn break ups or any connections not for what they were but what i felt they could have been..or would have, should have....had it been the right time....with time and effort..a bit of love ...breaking and severing connections is not really my style....i have very few broken connections....i build pretty solid connections memorable ones...i can talk to friends i haven't talked to in a long time or havent seen and it feel like yesterday because the connections i form and they form with me... ...are long lasting....honest, true and...rock solid....

when you mourn the beginning of a connection you are not mourning so much what is or was with the connection formed.... but what could have been so much more .....thats my personal experience though....humans are special every single one of us any connection formed is unique ...and with time.....smilin.....they just grow....more beautiful more special....i miss many people...everyday.....and i have faith one day...we will meet again.....that helps me with missing connections....

some people and i said i have very few losses....were just not right for me to stay connected to.....self preservation mostly or for my familiy's preservation...........deb.....
in the ache of night,luminous prayers take fragile flight,
somewhere between battalions of warring sins,
there exists hope and love for peace begins...deb

Last edited by todreaminblue; 8th March 2018 at 2:23 AM..
todreaminblue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th March 2018, 8:12 AM   #3
Established Member
d0nnivain's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 28,030
The problem with these on line romances is that they give you a false sense of intimacy. You think you know someone you never met & you develop intense feelings for the person you think they are where in reality you have no idea who they actual are because you have never met. During this artificial course of infatuation your mind fills in the most positive details & you "fall in love" with the ideal, regardless of who the person actually is.

You got sucked into that fairy tale & now that you don't have it, you feel the loss.

If his extension got denied & he's being shipped home to the other side of the world, you two will probably never meet. I don't know too many Marines who can afford international travel.

Chalk it up to a learning experience & date guys who are more local.

Best wishes.
d0nnivain is offline   Reply With Quote


Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Dating after a breakup? mischalove Dating 5 26th February 2017 11:24 PM
Dating after a breakup TheGuard13 Dating 1 26th March 2013 12:55 PM
Dating after a breakup, when? Arikel Dating 6 6th August 2011 10:07 PM
Dating after a breakup? Teach28 Breaks and Breaking Up 2 22nd November 2007 5:45 PM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 8:36 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.

Copyright © 1997-2018 All Rights Reserved.