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How to ease a broken heart?


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 6th March 2018, 8:26 PM   #1
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How to ease a broken heart?

My brother recently got off a terribly toxic relationship with his girlfriend. She was super clingy and would threaten him with blackmails and rants if things donít go her way. What I want for my big bro right now is for him to find another woman under his own terms and let him let loose. This is the least he deserves after being with that pain in the neck for almost 7 years. He needs to experience and explore more options and widen his dating circle. I was thinking of letting him join an international dating social event for him to get away for a mini vacation all the while interacting with ladies abroad. My friend actually suggested this to me since these types of things are gaining popularity. Plus, I wonít have to worry about his itinerary for his trip since there will be an agency who will be taking care of him on my behalf. Any advice on this before I sign him up?
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Old 6th March 2018, 9:13 PM   #2
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If your brother just got out of a 7 year relationship give him some time to breathe, process & self soothe. The last thing he needs is a new relationship

Never sign anybody else up for dating. That is almost as bad as giving somebody a pet they didn't ask for.

Spend time with your brother. Hang out with him. Listen to him & don't just bash his EX. He can; you can't. You just listen. Entertain him. Make sure he feels valued & loved.

You're heart is in the right place but maybe let your brother set the pace.
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Old 6th March 2018, 9:32 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
If your brother just got out of a 7 year relationship give him some time to breathe, process & self soothe. The last thing he needs is a new relationship

Never sign anybody else up for dating. That is almost as bad as giving somebody a pet they didn't ask for.

Spend time with your brother. Hang out with him. Listen to him & don't just bash his EX. He can; you can't. You just listen. Entertain him. Make sure he feels valued & loved.

You're heart is in the right place but maybe let your brother set the pace.
Excellent advice. But I would offer the trip and have him tell you when he would like to go.

No pressure on him, and great offer from you. You're a stand up guy.
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Old 6th March 2018, 11:12 PM   #4
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Offering the brother a vacation is fine, but who wants to go on vacation alone immediately after a break up? That would make me so depressed by highlighting what was now missing in my life.

Offering the brother a trip to meet potential mail order brides is problematic. I think that is what the OP was suggesting.
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Old 6th March 2018, 11:15 PM   #5
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Not me. A rebound is always a confidence booster for me. To feel wanted and needed and desired is a very powerful thing even if you know it's not permanent.
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Old 6th March 2018, 11:22 PM   #6
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Not me. A rebound is always a confidence booster for me. To feel wanted and needed and desired is a very powerful thing even if you know it's not permanent.
Local rebound hook up -- no problem.

"Join[ing] an international dating social event for him to get away for a mini vacation all the while interacting with ladies abroad" is just gross.
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Old 6th March 2018, 11:28 PM   #7
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Local rebound hook up -- no problem.

"Join[ing] an international dating social event for him to get away for a mini vacation all the while interacting with ladies abroad" is just gross.
Excellent point....
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Old 6th March 2018, 11:30 PM   #8
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No rebounds it will just remind him alot of his ex, and emotionally torture him. My advice is to sty and listen to him. Let him express himself emotionally, delete all contact after a week of reaching out. He will reach out and get his head screwed abit allow it to happen if not he will always relapse into that state. So its okay to pine for a short while. Let him start working out. Set a goal for his weight and body shape then work on it. Let him go for hiking or an activity that requires him keeping his body mind and spirit focused. So he needs these things. I just got my heart trumped by a girl 10days ago after 3years and 2months and she didnt even give a ****. After 5dys of cntasnt crying and 3 days of asking her for answers , and going online to get a morale boost, and talking with family and friends for hours to dealw ith the trauma, the rose colored glasses i hve of my f has fallen off. I now see ll the bad **** and crazy stuff i tolerated from her and am glad she left on her own validation. Now i hve a goal to loose 30pounds in 1month. So far in 10 days i ve lost 10pounds. pushiing for 20 by nxt week monday. once i hit that ill take on weight lifting to shape my body/ once i look good to look at then i will start changing my wardrobe and clothes, try new fashon styles just get rid of my closet. Afte that i hve a big project ill be picking up in May and leavingthe country for...tht will get me focused too all in all i expect in 6months my life will hve a 180degree turn. And to be honest i dnt want my gf back or even a reconciliation in the future, cause she has been holding me back seriously.
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Old 7th March 2018, 2:38 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
If your brother just got out of a 7 year relationship give him some time to breathe, process & self soothe. The last thing he needs is a new relationship

Never sign anybody else up for dating. That is almost as bad as giving somebody a pet they didn't ask for.

Spend time with your brother. Hang out with him. Listen to him & don't just bash his EX. He can; you can't. You just listen. Entertain him. Make sure he feels valued & loved.

You're heart is in the right place but maybe let your brother set the pace.
You're absolutely right. I've been bad at these kinds of things, tbh. I really feel like a terrible brother for placing in all my effort in finding a solution rather than actually just being there for him. Thank you so much. That really opened my eyes.
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Old 7th March 2018, 2:39 AM   #10
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Excellent advice. But I would offer the trip and have him tell you when he would like to go.

No pressure on him, and great offer from you. You're a stand up guy.
Great point. At the very least, I should treat him with his ticket and pay for his other accommodations too. Atleast he also won't worry bout the expenses. Thanks
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Old 7th March 2018, 2:41 AM   #11
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Offering the brother a vacation is fine, but who wants to go on vacation alone immediately after a break up? That would make me so depressed by highlighting what was now missing in my life.

Offering the brother a trip to meet potential mail order brides is problematic. I think that is what the OP was suggesting.
Yes but after reading what you guys suggested, I think it's best for me to just stay by his side for awhile and just physically be there for him. I'll make sure he doesn't do anything stupid too.
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Old 7th March 2018, 2:42 AM   #12
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Local rebound hook up -- no problem.

"Join[ing] an international dating social event for him to get away for a mini vacation all the while interacting with ladies abroad" is just gross.
I think so too but we'll never know how things would turn out if we don't open ourselves to new things. But I do respect your opinion
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Old 7th March 2018, 4:28 AM   #13
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OP, you do realize that many "international dating agencies" are intended for men to meet foreign brides, yes? Many of the women who join are searching for a husband, not a date.

If he's just coming out of a relationship, I doubt he is going to like that idea.

Going on holiday would be awesome. But unless he has actually told you he would like to find a wife, nix the other part of that equation.
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Old 7th March 2018, 10:20 PM   #14
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I see your point but I was thinking that maybe meeting someone new who's really into stable relationships would remind him that there could still be some sort of happy ending for him in the future.
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Old 7th March 2018, 10:22 PM   #15
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Not me. A rebound is always a confidence booster for me. To feel wanted and needed and desired is a very powerful thing even if you know it's not permanent.
This is what I wanted for my brother. I want him to feel like he can still be loved and desired given the circumstance.
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