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gf stopped the sex


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lostinmymind

I've got a quick question for any ladies reading this. I'll tell my story first.

 

My ex and I were having sex up until about this last November and then she wanted to stop. She still wanted to do other sexual things, just not intercourse. I should explain that she was always really scared of getting pregnant everytime even though she was on birth control. I think maybe she wasn't ready (she is 18). She also said she was gaining weight from being on birth control and wanted to stop for awhile. I was also only with her on weekends because I went to college 100 miles away, so things were getting too routine. We still had a great relationship with each other up until the end of February when she painfully decided she wanted a break.

 

Should I have taken her ending the sex as a message she was getting over me (she still acted like she loved me and did spontaneous and sweet things), or were the reasons she gave legitimate? Did she just decide she wasn't ready for sex? I guess I'm just trying to understand when things started to go wrong so I can understand women more!

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It's possible she wasn't really ready for the sexual aspect of your relationship when it started.

 

My guess would be she had the sexual relationship with you because she felt she should which is a lot different than having sex because a person wants too.

 

I'm not saying thats anything on you.. just that she wouldn't be the first girl to have sex that they really may not be ready for more out of feeling they should then doing so because it's what they want or are ready for.

 

I don't know that her stopping the sexual relationship with you was so much a sign or signal to you that she was getting over you, I guess I would've taken it more as a sign that she wasn't ready for such a serious relationship at this time.

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I would take it as her losing interest in the relationship in general. However, I can only go from my own personal experiences. Usually, I know I am over the guy when I become disinterested in sex with the person.

 

I told one of my exes that I wanted to stop having sex because I wanted to get back into church :laugh:

For those of you that know my religious beliefs (or lack thereof) then you know how hilarious this is. I just did NOT want to have sex with him anymore...it repulsed me actually.

 

I'm not saying this is what she is doing, but I certainly don't find this a very comforting sign....

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lostinmymind

Sometimes after reading some responses I can answer my own questions better.

 

I agree with Merin that maybe she just wasn't ready for the seriousness, as that is one of the things she told me when we started our break/break up.

 

Even after we stopped she would still act like she wanted sex when we were messing around doing other things, but she knew she couldn't do it.

 

Unfortunately this just makes me want her even more! haha

 

It's been really hard, but I'm slowly accepting that my ex just wasn't ready for the level of commitment I'm willing to give her. She just isn't ready for this serious of a relationship. I might not be ready either. I'll always love her and be there for her, so when she is ready I hope she gives me a second look. Everyone on here tells me to move on and to have NC, but I truly love her, it's like nothing I've ever felt. I can't let her out of my life, and according to her she never wants me out of hers. Maybe it will work out later...who knows? Time will tell...hopefully soon :p It's a pity we met so young before we expericed 'other things'.

 

It seems surreal that I am slowly getting over her (although it still makes me sad to be without her). It is such a great feeling!

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JustDumpedHim

Sometimes we don't want sex because we're just not turned on anymore or it's too much of a chore because the guy doesn't know what he's doing and it's a waste of time to even hassle with.

 

Seriously - if she's lost interest in having sex with you - she's lost interest in general.

 

I stopped having sex with my ex because he did so many things to repulse me and turn me off - sex was the first thing I cut off from him, then I cut conversations short, came up with excuses not to see him - then I just stopped returning his phone calls.

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Fallen_Angel

Last summer my ex pretty much cut me off sexually. It started out gradually: soon we weren't spending time alone in his room because he claimed he was scared his parents would find out (weird, because by this point we'd been together three years!), and before I knew it whenever I tried anything he'd stop me. I was tremendously freaked out because we'd had a conversation where he admitted he wasn't sure where our relationship was going but still wanted to be with me, and then all of a sudden we stopped having sex (though that's not to say he stopped me from doing other stuff! Figures! Hehe).

 

I felt like I was walking on egg shells all summer. It was awful. He still treated me really well, and even took me places I had asked to go to that summer. And he knew how upset I was; he tried to tell me it wasn't my fault, that he was afraid because he was starting grad school in the fall and still worried about me getting pregnant, despite the fact I'd been on the pill ever since we started having sex. I should add that we were each other's first and although I explained to him how well the pill works, he still worried A LOT.

 

Once he started school things went back to normal, that is until he shattered my heart into a bazillion pieces almost three months ago. Part of me does still think at that point last summer he did want to end the relationship, but either didn't know how or was scared or didn't want to hurt me or whatever. But of course none of that matters anymore. :mad::(

 

Lost, based on what I've been through I'd surmise perhaps when she stopped having sex with you, she was thinking about how to end the relationship. The way I see it, if you two only saw each other on weekends, there's nothing too "routine" about it! You should have been all over each other after being apart all week!

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