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Why did my ex gf block me, tell me to never contact her again and is now moving


stuckandconfused

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stuckandconfused

Long story short - I messed up and made a big big mistake. I ended things with the most incredible woman i’ve ever met someone that genuinely actually loved me and supported and cared. We had a really strong bond and relationsgio towards the end, my gf was going through things and in turn we stared having small silly arguments and one day I just couldn’t and ended things with her by texting her. She was really really hurt and asked to speak to me but I just couldn’t. She kept texting me all day, and I was so mad that I asked a good friend to deliver her things to her place while she was working. I couldn’t think at all. I was so hurt and devasted. She asked to meet up with me for coffee so that we can both just talk and air everything out and go our separate ways. I couldn’t do that either. It bothered me hat she wouldn’t speak to me or check up on me or anything. She went absolutely silent for weeks and weeks.

 

Fast forward it’s been a little over a month now. We dated for a year and she completely blocked me on everything. I know this because I was on my friends account and she’s friends with them so that’s how I know. She suddenly texted me after I did something stupid (tried to make her jealous, i was pissed that during our breakup she made 0 attempt to speak to me or check up on me). than she told me to NEVER contact her again, said that she wish she had never met me too. Hearing that sucked. Now I find out that she is moving through a mutual friend. I don’t know what to do. I want to see her but at the same time she told me to never contact her again..

 

What do I do? I can’t call or text her or do anything because she blocked me. It hasn’t even been 2 months yet! Why is she doing this? Can someone please explain to me her reasoning and motivation? Why is she leaving? She told me she never moved here for me - she came for a job offer so why is she leaving?

She didn’t have any support at all especially after the breakup since I integrated her into my friend group. I think I really really hurt her and I promised her I would never do that. I feel like crap. Help.

Edited by stuckandconfused
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Unfortunately, the mind games you tried to play have caught up with you, what did you expect when hurt her, she should keep running back, I think she reached her breaking point, you have to accept this and try to move on for now.

 

Everyone needs a cooling off period , maybe months but give her space for now, and stop the games

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CantTakeMySmile

Do you really not understand why she is acting this way?

 

 

She is doing this because:

 

 

  • You broke up with her and treated her poorly after you broke up with her
  • You didn't want to meet and talk because it was just too much
  • You returned her things out of a fit of anger
  • You tried to play mind games with her on social media

Therefore, she doesn't want to talk to you or be around you. She is moving because she has no set of friends there and she is sure she no longer wants you in her life. She is ready to move on without any attachment. If she has blocked you from her phone, she doesn't want to talk to you.

 

 

I feel like her actions are very transparent. I am not sure where the disconnect is.

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stuckandconfused
Do you really not understand why she is acting this way?

 

 

She is doing this because:

 

 

  • You broke up with her and treated her poorly after you broke up with her
  • You didn't want to meet and talk because it was just too much
  • You returned her things out of a fit of anger
  • You tried to play mind games with her on social media

Therefore, she doesn't want to talk to you or be around you. She is moving because she has no set of friends there and she is sure she no longer wants you in her life. She is ready to move on without any attachment. If she has blocked you from her phone, she doesn't want to talk to you.

 

 

I feel like her actions are very transparent. I am not sure where the disconnect is.

 

 

i honestly wasn’t thinking. I remember the day i ended things she came to visit me even though I told her I didn’t want to see her. I feel like a terribleness awful person because she was so hurt and at that time I was so sure about my decision even though it was hard. She told me things like “this is so sudden? relationships aren’t perfect and they take work” but I just didn’t want to hear it. She told me to think about it because I was angry and very emotional and I am kind of a sensitive guy. So i told her I didn’t want her that she made me unhappy even though it wasn’t the truth.

 

I didn’t mean to hurt her. I just wanted her to notice me because after I ended things wit her she tried to talk to me for a few days and than she just completely stopped. She never bothered to call me or text, or check up on me and it made me feel hurt. I wanted her reaction something to prove she cared. So I started doing stupid things now that I look back. I started hooking up and seeing random girls. I even started talking to a girl I know my ex doesn’t like just for her to notice me. And she didn’t.

 

2 weeks ago I didn’t know what to say to her. So i texted her about mail that got delivered to my apartment that was hers. No response. It made me annoyed. so I tried to make her jealous online and Instead she tells me to never contact her again. She blocked me on every single thing you can think of. I thought she loved me and are I didn’t think she would ever do these things? Blocking me? Ignoring me? Not checking up on me? And now she’s moving?

 

I made a big mistake. She always told me that no matter what she would love care and support me. I wasn’t thinking. I let go of someone that truly cared and loved me. someone i was actually comfortable and happy with.

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CantTakeMySmile

It is definitely going to be a bitter pill to swallow. It does seem like she tried until she got tired of trying and now she has made the decision she feels is best for her. You have to respect that.

 

There is a huge lesson to be learned here. Examine your behavior. Acting out because you are angry is immature and will not get you far in relationships. Not communicating will never work in a long term relationship.

 

Unfortunately, you don’t have a chance with this girl so please try not to hurt someone else.

 

And you wanted her to notice you? Notice you and chase after you and see if YOU are ok after the way you treated her? Come on? You know that is not reality.

 

May I ask your age?

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stuckandconfused
It is definitely going to be a bitter pill to swallow. It does seem like she tried until she got tired of trying and now she has made the decision she feels is best for her. You have to respect that.

 

There is a huge lesson to be learned here. Examine your behavior. Acting out because you are angry is immature and will not get you far in relationships. Not communicating will never work in a long term relationship.

 

Unfortunately, you don’t have a chance with this girl so please try not to hurt someone else.

 

And you wanted her to notice you? Notice you and chase after you and see if YOU are ok after the way you treated her? Come on? You know that is not reality.

 

May I ask your age?

 

I have been in love with this person for a long time. We had a very open and communicative relationship pretty much until the breakup. I feel absolutely awful for how I ended things with her. She begged me not to do it like this. Begged me to do things the right way and I told her I tried to breakup with her but she hung up on me. I know that is a lame excuse but that’s what I said at the time. I want to talk to her and make this right. I honestly cannot believe she is leaving. Do you think she is leaving because of the breakup? It crushes me to think that because of my actions she is going to just pack up and leave. Yes, apart of me expected her to still be here for me and be open to me. I know it’s probably twisted due to the fact that I ended things.. and the way I ended things. I was admittedly petty and told all my friends to stop speaking to her. Knowing her, I know that this probably broke her spirit? What does my age matter? I am 30. I just want to make this right. I’m hesitant to just show up to her place...

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CantTakeMySmile

I was curious if your age as this sounded like something that could be happening with younger people so I thought that may explain your actions more.

 

Yes, I think she is leaving because she no longer wants to be around the situation anymore.

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CantTakeMySmile

I realize that it crushes you to think she has to leave. But, she will

Be ok. She is making the right moves for her. Don’t focus on the guilt ( because she will be ok) as much as focusing on why you treated someone you were in love with that way.

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stuckandconfused
I realize that it crushes you to think she has to leave. But, she will

Be ok. She is making the right moves for her. Don’t focus on the guilt ( because she will be ok) as much as focusing on why you treated someone you were in love with that way.

 

I know she will be ok. She’s very strong. To be honest I have never dated anyone like her before.. I’ve dated girls in the past and when we broke up they acted a lot crazier and worse than my current ex. It’s actuallt hurtful that she’s moving on so quickly.

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stuckandconfused
Unfortunately, the mind games you tried to play have caught up with you, what did you expect when hurt her, she should keep running back, I think she reached her breaking point, you have to accept this and try to move on for now.

 

Everyone needs a cooling off period , maybe months but give her space for now, and stop the games

 

SHE didn’t chase me or come after me. She actually backed off and never bothered. Until i texted her about her mail, than she texted me asking me to never contact her and she also said she wish she never knew me or met me. I am used to my ex’s or women i dated to chase after me. Nothing like what she did

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CantTakeMySmile

Sorry for you loss. Please try to work on the “you hurt me so I will hurt you back” mentality. Hopefully, this has taught you a hard bit valuable lesson. People are to be loved not played with emotionally. It hurts.

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SHE didn’t chase me or come after me. She actually backed off and never bothered. Until i texted her about her mail, than she texted me asking me to never contact her and she also said she wish she never knew me or met me. I am used to my ex’s or women i dated to chase after me. Nothing like what she did

 

I think this is where you focus on your own behavior rather than feel entitled that she should have been chasing you. She did plead and try to get you to communicate with her and when you dismissed her more than once, she chose to move on.

 

If anything, she acted with dignity and self-respect. Kudos to her. It's what one should do. No one should be chasing a dumper, let alone someone that treated them poorly during an ending.

 

Moving forward, communication and empathy is important. Try to learn from this and respect her need to move on.

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stuckandconfused

When I ended things, she texted me, begging to talk to me asking me to explain because it was sudden and I didn’t feel like there was any reason to discuss. Than she completely backed off. I thought “is she seeing someone? is that why she hasn’t called me, texted.” I know that she chatted to a mutual friend.. but all she said was hat she wants me to be happy and even though what I did really hurt her she is going to move on. I can’t bekieve that she’s leaving. Now I feel like I will never get her back. She moved to my city for a career offer.. she didn’t have anyone here. I am just thinking about it all as now it is hitting me that I did things to her that i promised I never would do. Now i have to live with the fact that I lost a really special person.. She wasn’t perfect - she has some fear of abandonment. I never ever imagined things like this. I wish I gave her what she wanted which was “not to end things badly and burn a bridge.” I’ve never been with a woman that treated me so well and genuinely loved me. ashe made me a happy person... felt like I could do anything and everything with her.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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She isn't one of your crazy ex's she is better than that, she did try to alter your mind and think about this but you didn't budge on your decision. She is going to stop communication due to being hurt and she did try like you said for a few days but you ignored her. Making her jealous made the situation worse so she blocked you on everything due to being hurt. Yes she is proberbly moving due to being hurt and wanting a fresh start.

 

She tried and you decided to shove her aside, you hurt she didn't contact you - why because your crazy ex's bugged you for weeks, months and she didn't do the same?

 

She isnt the same as the pervious girls you have dated, she is clearly mature and handling the break up in a mature way, something your not used to.

 

The reason she doesn't want further contact and blocked you is because she wants nc which is her way to heal.

 

Leave her be, what's done is done, learn the lesson and don't make the same mistake.

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When I ended things, she texted me, begging to talk to me asking me to explain because it was sudden and I didn’t feel like there was any reason to discuss. Than she completely backed off. I thought “is she seeing someone? is that why she hasn’t called me, texted.” I know that she chatted to a mutual friend.. but all she said was hat she wants me to be happy and even though what I did really hurt her she is going to move on. I can’t bekieve that she’s leaving. Now I feel like I will never get her back. She moved to my city for a career offer.. she didn’t have anyone here. I am just thinking about it all as now it is hitting me that I did things to her that i promised I never would do. Now i have to live with the fact that I lost a really special person.. She wasn’t perfect - she has some fear of abandonment. I never ever imagined things like this. I wish I gave her what she wanted which was “not to end things badly and burn a bridge.” I’ve never been with a woman that treated me so well and genuinely loved me. ashe made me a happy person... felt like I could do anything and everything with her.

 

Re-read that a couple times. Do you see the irony in it?

 

I'm going to be blunt here, so I apologize:

 

Simply stated you ripped this girls heart to shreds and you have trouble understanding why she wants nothing to do with you. Think about where her head was at when you broke her heart. You wanted nothing to do with her. As mentioned earlier by another poster, the first thing that came to mind was "how old are you". The actions you have shown in how you dumped and destroyed this girl is something I would expect from an 18 year old, not a 30 year old.

 

I know you're hurt, but I don't think you understand the full weight of your actions and how it was you who hurt you. This is a life lesson that you're going to have to swallow.

 

Having said that, if you really want to let her know how sorry you are, compose a letter and send it.

 

--Do not ask for her back

--Do not make excuses for your callus behavior

--Do not guilt her for any reason

 

Simply tell her you are sorry for the way you acted and her actions are completely justified in removing you from her life. Tell her you hold no ill will toward her and hope she finds the happiness that you took from her in the future.

 

Then, move on with your life.

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stuckandconfused
Re-read that a couple times. Do you see the irony in it?

 

I'm going to be blunt here, so I apologize:

 

Simply stated you ripped this girls heart to shreds and you have trouble understanding why she wants nothing to do with you. Think about where her head was at when you broke her heart. You wanted nothing to do with her. As mentioned earlier by another poster, the first thing that came to mind was "how old are you". The actions you have shown in how you dumped and destroyed this girl is something I would expect from an 18 year old, not a 30 year old.

 

I know you're hurt, but I don't think you understand the full weight of your actions and how it was you who hurt you. This is a life lesson that you're going to have to swallow.

 

Having said that, if you really want to let her know how sorry you are, compose a letter and send it.

 

--Do not ask for her back

--Do not make excuses for your callus behavior

--Do not guilt her for any reason

 

Simply tell her you are sorry for the way you acted and her actions are completely justified in removing you from her life. Tell her you hold no ill will toward her and hope she finds the happiness that you took from her in the future.

 

Then, move on with your life.

 

She told me she loved me and cares about me no matter what. So why would she pack up her things and literally move away? I don’t know if it’s true for sure but the mutual friend we share wouldn’t exactly make things up. According to them, my ex gf is moving for work but I know that’s not true. ashe is leaving because I ****ed everything up plain and simple. It just seems too harash to just leave? She just gave up on me. Didn’t speak to me or call or text orsee me for a awhilole month... than she asks me to never speak to her or contact her again. Than she tells me that she never wished she met me? Why would she say that? That cut deep.

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When you stop worrying about your feelings and focus on what hers might be, then you should figure it out. You probably blindsided her by breaking up by text. That is the worst. That action told her what you thought about her and you made it worse by not talking to her so she could get some answers. That was the coldest of breakups. That's enough right there for someone to lose all feeling for you and dislike you. She is doing what she needs to do for herself now. You did for yourself when you broke up and refused to talk to her. She's hurt bad and there's nothing you can but let her go.

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She told me she loved me and cares about me no matter what. So why would she pack up her things and literally move away? I don’t know if it’s true for sure but the mutual friend we share wouldn’t exactly make things up. According to them, my ex gf is moving for work but I know that’s not true. ashe is leaving because I ****ed everything up plain and simple. It just seems too harash to just leave? She just gave up on me. Didn’t speak to me or call or text orsee me for a awhilole month... than she asks me to never speak to her or contact her again. Than she tells me that she never wished she met me? Why would she say that? That cut deep.

 

 

It's her choice to move away and move on just like it was your choice to kick her to the curb so harshly and dismiss her. Where was your love for her in treating her with respect and empathy?

 

She didn't give up on you. You gave up on her so take accountability for that and stop laying blame elsewhere.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
rude ~T
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Everyone has their dealbreakers, and apparently you crossed several of hers, and she's done. She doesn't like you anymore, and no one really owes anyone a second chance to lie their way out of it!

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stuckandconfused
You come off entitled and selfish. You treat someone poorly then ask why they aren't kissing your feet?

 

It's her choice to move away and move on just like it was your choice to kick her to the curb so harshly and dismiss her. Where was your love for her in treating her with respect and empathy?

 

She didn't give up on you. You gave up on her so take accountability for that and stop laying blame elsewhere. Self-reflection/self-awareness. You don't seem to have it.

 

I understand your perspective but I also ask that some of you stop projecting your own failed relationships on me. I didn’t dump you (previous posters no need to take your unresolved feelings out on me.) i came here to understand or get advice on how to win her back, and to understand what she may be going through or her mindset because I can only “guess.” I know I really ****ed up and hurt her. We had a really strong bond and connection, have never met anyone like this woman before. She actually cared about me, listened to what I had to say, never judged me, always laughed at my jokes, things always felt right with her. sand I don’t know why I broke up with her or why I did it that way. I was just so upset and crushed and I ended up talking to people about the situation that actually ended up giving me the wrong advice because now, I lost her and messed up any chance for her to ever speak to me again.

 

She is a strong person who is determined so when she sets her mind or sights on something - she doesn’t budge until it’s executed, another characteristic I really loved about her. She always supported me no matter what. I feel like the biggest jerk and idiot. She wanted to talk to me and me to meet her but I ignored her because I was so serious on my decision even though it hurt like hell. I told her that i didn’t want things to end or end this way but had no choice. She said she didn’t understand and asked if I was maybe cheating, or seeing someone else, or doing drugs. All it was was an argument.

 

 

When i ended things with her, I know that it bothered her when I would still check up on her but I couldn’t help it. I needed to see what she was doing or with who or if she’s was actually happy without me. My friends told me to just cut her off and ignore her even though I knew deep down it was wrong. I had people telling me to just go into hooking up or sleeping around or dating. So I did and I was reckless about it - trying to make her jealous and price me I knew that by befriending a woman she didn’t exactly fancy would make her lose it. Instead she told me to essentially never contact or speak to her again. How does someone recover from that? Should i just do no contact? I am not gonna give up on her or this. She loved me and I loved her. I’m not going to give up.

Edited by stuckandconfused
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She’s made it clear she wants no contact and has even blocked you. That’s a sign that she does not want anything to do with you. You couldn’t respect her then, try to respect her now.

 

You’re crying now because you’ve lost control of her. You expected her to chase you. If you loved her that much you wouldn’t have treated her that way or dragged it for so long.

 

You were manipulative and it backfired.

 

Leave her alone. Try to learn from this and work on your own behaviors.

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It seems to me that you’re a young person because young people sometimes do this. You said that she’s incredible, loved you, supported and cared, strong bond. You should have treated her the same way. When you ended thing with her, you drove a wedge and you said that she was really hurt. There are people who are very loving and devoted but when you hurt them once, they never get over it. Have you thought about how she changed after you broke up with her and tried to make her jealous? She probably knew that this could happen again and she’s not willing to be toyed. I know it hurts and it is sad to hear stories like these. But this is sometimes how we learn and hopefully this experience will make you a better person.

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I didn’t mean to hurt her. I just wanted her to notice me because after I ended things wit her she tried to talk to me for a few days and than she just completely stopped. She never bothered to call me or text, or check up on me and it made me feel hurt. I wanted her reaction something to prove she cared. So I started doing stupid things now that I look back. I started hooking up and seeing random girls. I even started talking to a girl I know my ex doesn’t like just for her to notice me. And she didn’t.

 

2 weeks ago I didn’t know what to say to her. So i texted her about mail that got delivered to my apartment that was hers. No response. It made me annoyed. so I tried to make her jealous online and Instead she tells me to never contact her again. She blocked me on every single thing you can think of. I thought she loved me and are I didn’t think she would ever do these things? Blocking me? Ignoring me? Not checking up on me? And now she’s moving?

 

I made a big mistake. She always told me that no matter what she would love care and support me. I wasn’t thinking. I let go of someone that truly cared and loved me. someone i was actually comfortable and happy with.

 

Lesson learned here my friend. You can't treat people like sh*t and expect them to love you.

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Ok folks, had a report requesting a civility check on this one so I'll remind everyone of our guidelines regarding civility and respect and that this is an advice forum that is intended to help the OP, not attack them.

 

From this point forward let's assume the OP has a clear picture of his actions so we can move on to giving respectful, constructive advice for his situation. ~T

Edited by William
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you don't break up with someone to get a reaction. you break up with someone because you are done with them and accept the fact that once the decision is done, you will never see them again.

 

sounds like you pulled the trigger too early before you had fully grasped what your decision meant.

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