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He dumped me? [Update from merged threads]


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 20th February 2018, 11:30 PM   #61
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Originally Posted by natashalove View Post

Why did he dump me?
Why the hell should you care???...as others have posted. HE...DID...YOU...A...FAVOR!

Young lady, you may really think we are totally daft, however the reason all of us have been telling you to dump him is because we could see this one coming a mile away.

Of course he is going to be with her. He won't be blatant bout it...but he WILL go back to her at some point in the near future.

Most of us here have been gaslit the exact same way by our partner or spouse, We were hoping you were really not going to be joining this club. But you have.

The heartbreak like you feel right now is very debilitating. But please be assured that you will get through this, and you will be better off because he showed you who he was. Now his ex will have to go through the exact same thing,

I encourage you to visit here on this subforum and read some of the stories of people who arrived here. You will be able to see a pattern of how these stories end up.

I'm sorry he was such an..... (Insert Insult). But I tell you now one day you are going to be reminded of him by some trigger, like a song or something, and you will look into the mirror and say

"What the hell was I thinking?"


You feel bad but actually congratulations are in order for you.

Because you are yet another step forward in your life. He was not going to be there for the ride, and would have kept you taking those 2 steps back..so screw him!

Reflect..grieve if you must... but for not too long. For the rest of your life is just a Sunrise away.
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Old 27th February 2018, 2:14 PM   #62
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Originally Posted by Space Ritual View Post
Why the hell should you care???...as others have posted. HE...DID...YOU...A...FAVOR!

Young lady, you may really think we are totally daft, however the reason all of us have been telling you to dump him is because we could see this one coming a mile away.

Of course he is going to be with her. He won't be blatant bout it...but he WILL go back to her at some point in the near future.

Most of us here have been gaslit the exact same way by our partner or spouse, We were hoping you were really not going to be joining this club. But you have.

The heartbreak like you feel right now is very debilitating. But please be assured that you will get through this, and you will be better off because he showed you who he was. Now his ex will have to go through the exact same thing,

I encourage you to visit here on this subforum and read some of the stories of people who arrived here. You will be able to see a pattern of how these stories end up.

I'm sorry he was such an..... (Insert Insult). But I tell you now one day you are going to be reminded of him by some trigger, like a song or something, and you will look into the mirror and say

"What the hell was I thinking?"


You feel bad but actually congratulations are in order for you.

Because you are yet another step forward in your life. He was not going to be there for the ride, and would have kept you taking those 2 steps back..so screw him!

Reflect..grieve if you must... but for not too long. For the rest of your life is just a Sunrise away.
But he hasnt gine back to her? How are u so sure he will go back to her at some point in future?
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Old 27th February 2018, 3:50 PM   #63
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But he hasnt gine back to her? How are u so sure he will go back to her at some point in future?
He mentioned he still has feelings for her so the potential of him going back to her is there - no one knows if it's an absolute but the potential is there since they both loved each other at one point and probably still do.

How do you know they are not dating? Your friend can't be tied to them 24-7 nor can you so you don't know what's going on in his life or hers.

He has ended the relationship with you likely because this woman is now in the picture. It has likely caused his old feelings to resurface and used the "job seeking" as an excuse to let you go.
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Old 28th February 2018, 9:03 AM   #64
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He mentioned he still has feelings for her so the potential of him going back to her is there - no one knows if it's an absolute but the potential is there since they both loved each other at one point and probably still do.

How do you know they are not dating? Your friend can't be tied to them 24-7 nor can you so you don't know what's going on in his life or hers.

He has ended the relationship with you likely because this woman is now in the picture. It has likely caused his old feelings to resurface and used the "job seeking" as an excuse to let you go.
I dont think he likes her. He led her on just like he did to me i think coz he hasnt gone back since talking to her. He went once. They ran into each other but didnt talk as it was in public. But now there are strikes at universities so they arent going to college
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Old 28th February 2018, 10:53 AM   #65
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I dont think he likes her. He led her on just like he did to me i think coz he hasnt gone back since talking to her. He went once. They ran into each other but didnt talk as it was in public. But now there are strikes at universities so they arent going to college
How do you seem to know every detail and his every move? It's pretty disturbing.

Do you know what they do during their free time outside of the university? How do you know if they're not meeting for a quiet dinner, or talking on the phone before bed, or catching a movie on a Saturday night?

You need to come to terms that this man told you he has feelings for her when he broke up with you. You can't say he doesn't like her when he was very forward with you.

You are in deep denial. But you must try to let go.
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Old 28th February 2018, 10:58 AM   #66
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I dont think he likes her.
You need to accept the reality of what he's saying to you. The sooner you do that, the sooner you let go.

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Originally Posted by natashalove View Post
He also admitted he still has feelings for her but he hasn't decided if he's going to act on it or not. Though he admitted it was love at first sight for both of them and he couldn't forget her.
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Old 28th February 2018, 11:30 AM   #67
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How do you seem to know every detail and his every move? It's pretty disturbing.

Do you know what they do during their free time outside of the university? How do you know if they're not meeting for a quiet dinner, or talking on the phone before bed, or catching a movie on a Saturday night?

You need to come to terms that this man told you he has feelings for her when he broke up with you. You can't say he doesn't like her when he was very forward with you.

You are in deep denial. But you must try to let go.
My friend goes there everyday. So she knows. Hes easy to spot as hes always roaming around. And she saw them have their run in but it was in public so neither spoke to each other as its only private chats for them.

After that my friend saw her around but not him. And without contact info they cant go out. She was there and heard the whole convo. They didnt exchange nos.

Like I said he did say hes unsure whether he should act on it or not. I know he was crazy after her before. Now I dont think so??
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Old 28th February 2018, 11:39 AM   #68
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My friend goes there everyday. So she knows. Hes easy to spot as hes always roaming around. And she saw them have their run in but it was in public so neither spoke to each other as its only private chats for them.

After that my friend saw her around but not him. And without contact info they cant go out. She was there and heard the whole convo. They didnt exchange nos.

Like I said he did say hes unsure whether he should act on it or not. I know he was crazy after her before. Now I dont think so??
Like I said, your friend is not tied to him and her 24-7. She only sees what she sees for a small amount of time. You're magnifying the little you know. How do you know they didn't share contact information after he ended it with you? Maybe they stay away from each other in public because they know your friends are watching. You speak as if you are on a covert mission tapping their phones and guarding their every movement.

Maybe this line of thought helps you avoid facing reality and the pain that comes with it. So you stay in denial pretending as if nothing is going on between them. When in fact anything could be happening between them.

Ten days ago he told you he has feelings for her. It doesn't mean he doesn't like her anymore. He may have told you he doesn't know if he will act on it to save your feelings.

But all that is irrelevant. He has ended it with you. Time to accept that and move on, regardless of his next move.
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Old 28th February 2018, 12:11 PM   #69
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Like I said he did say hes unsure whether he should act on it or not. I know he was crazy after her before. Now I dont think so??
None of this matters. The point is he isn't interested in you. Tell your friend to stop giving you updates on him. It isn't helping you to get over him.
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Old 28th February 2018, 12:21 PM   #70
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Like I said, your friend is not tied to him and her 24-7. She only sees what she sees for a small amount of time. You're magnifying the little you know. How do you know they didn't share contact information after he ended it with you? Maybe they stay away from each other in public because they know your friends are watching. You speak as if you are on a covert mission tapping their phones and guarding their every movement.

Maybe this line of thought helps you avoid facing reality and the pain that comes with it. So you stay in denial pretending as if nothing is going on between them. When in fact anything could be happening between them.

Ten days ago he told you he has feelings for her. It doesn't mean he doesn't like her anymore. He may have told you he doesn't know if he will act on it to save your feelings.

But all that is irrelevant. He has ended it with you. Time to accept that and move on, regardless of his next move.
Because he hasnt gone back to uni. They didnt talk after that. She saw him leave and he was with my friend for a while as he came to meet his tutor for reference letter. Then they had a run in wuth his old crush and he left 10 mins later.

I have accepted he ended with me but I doubt he likes her. What guy will talk and never come back for someone he likes so much? Hes clearly not interested in being with her too?I
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Old 28th February 2018, 12:25 PM   #71
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Because he hasnt gone back to uni. They didnt talk after that. She saw him leave and he was with my friend for a while as he came to meet his tutor for reference letter. Then they had a run in wuth his old crush and he left 10 mins later.
This little bit you know and the little that your friend sees means absolutely nothing. You don't know what happens behind closed doors.

Again, I am not sure how else to get this through you. You are not with them 24-7. So stop speculating based on the little you see and accept that whatever happens with him is none of your business anymore.

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I have accepted he ended with me but I doubt he likes her. What guy will talk and never come back for someone he likes so much? Hes clearly not interested in being with her too?I
If that helps you move on, then keep holding on to it. I know you're feeling rejected and you can't stand the fact that he may want her and you feel devalued but it's all futile. He's told you he has feelings for her so anything can happen -- maybe if you come to accept it and not fight it, you may find yourself in a position of better letting go.
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Old 28th February 2018, 12:53 PM   #72
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This little bit you know and the little that your friend sees means absolutely nothing. You don't know what happens behind closed doors.

Again, I am not sure how else to get this through you. You are not with them 24-7. So stop speculating based on the little you see and accept that whatever happens with him is none of your business anymore.



If that helps you move on, then keep holding on to it. I know you're feeling rejected and you can't stand the fact that he may want her and you feel devalued but it's all futile. He's told you he has feelings for her so anything can happen -- maybe if you come to accept it and not fight it, you may find yourself in a position of better letting go.
I just know that anyone who likes someone makes an effort which he isnt so i thought hes playing her too.

But my friend did say that they met and talk after a long time and he could be evaluating his current life position and his feelings for her . He was always super shy in her case. Like putting himself out in her face hoping she will talk which he never did with me. We got together as we were friends and I liked him.and he seemed to show interest but it was never like he couldnt talk to me or was being shy [

Last edited by natashalove; 28th February 2018 at 12:57 PM..
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Old 28th February 2018, 1:01 PM   #73
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I just know that anyone who likes someone makes an effort which he isnt so i thought hes playing her too.

But my friend did say that they met and talk after a long time and he could be evaluating his current life position and his feelings for her . He was always super shy in her case. Like putting himself out in her face hoping she will talk which he never did with me. We got together as we were friends and I liked him.and he seemed to show interest but it was never like he couldnt talk to me or was being shy [
It doesn't matter anymore. Focus on the fact that the relationship has ended and stop receiving information about him and her. Regardless of what happens with the two of them, you still need to move on. And the first thing you do is stop feeding yourself information.

You can keep beating your head against a wall wondering what's going on with him and it will be useless. Try to stay NC, keep out of their business and focus on your healing.

Accept that he may want her or he may not want her. It doesn't define your value or worth. It doesn't make her better than you. You do you and there will be someone out there that will love you for who you are and all that you can offer.
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Old 28th February 2018, 1:18 PM   #74
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It doesn't matter anymore. Focus on the fact that the relationship has ended and stop receiving information about him and her. Regardless of what happens with the two of them, you still need to move on. And the first thing you do is stop feeding yourself information.

You can keep beating your head against a wall wondering what's going on with him and it will be useless. Try to stay NC, keep out of their business and focus on your healing.

Accept that he may want her or he may not want her. It doesn't define your value or worth. It doesn't make her better than you. You do you and there will be someone out there that will love you for who you are and all that you can offer.
Do u actually think he will get with her? :/
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Old 28th February 2018, 1:34 PM   #75
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Do u actually think he will get with her? :/
No one knows that except for the only two people involved in that situation -- your ex and the other woman.
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