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Are these breadcrumbs?


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 24th February 2018, 1:53 AM   #61
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Originally Posted by TeddyPSmith View Post
She doesnít post much. Actually nothing since we stopped talking. However I am familiar with FB stalking techniques and see that sheís posted on othersí walls. Even though the post was benign, i felt a surge of coldl, acidic anxiety surge through my stomach as I realized that sheís probably not wallowing in pain like me. I also realized that she would eventually date and be intimate with someone else. Those thoughts sent me looking for reasons to hate her...because hating is easier than feeling like you were loved but given up on
That's NOT a healthy way to move past this,man. You check into getting a therapist yet?
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Old 24th February 2018, 7:03 AM   #62
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Yes im aware that itís unhealthy. Yes Iíve seen a therapist. He actually suggested that I take advantage of the grief that Iím experiencing right now and use it in my treatment. Iíve repressed a lot of grief over the years and itís come out in the form of several neuroses. He also suggested that the pain Iím feeling now may not really be all about my ex. Im pretty intriguied so far.
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Old 24th February 2018, 10:05 AM   #63
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Another tough morning. Iím getting hit with all this crap at once. My ex wife is thriving. Sheís got two more children from her affair partner, a dream house, my daughter adores that piece of $hit. He actually picks her up from school to take her to lunch. And here I am, reeling from this breakup, like a limb thatís had a tourniquet applied to it, slowly rotting and waiting to fall off.

At some point Iím going to stop wallowing in this mess. Iíve got to get off my a$$ and make my own future.
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Old 24th February 2018, 11:11 AM   #64
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What goes around comes around. Trust me. Do everything you can to forget this girl. The sooner you let go of all the pain and sadness, the sooner new happiness can come in. You can do this. Make some changes, try something new. Doesnít have to be big things. Try reading. I recently picked up Ďthe sun and her flowersí and Ďmilk and honeyí. Theyíre both poetry type books that read like the journal of someone going through heart break. Look them up, theyíre great. Take care!
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Old 24th February 2018, 11:21 AM   #65
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Teddy, I've read your earlier posts and you had very good reasons for parting with your girlfriend. You weren't expecting too much, her behavior was a valid reason for concern. Those things aren't likely to change. You broke up with her multiple times - it's highly unlikely it will ever work. When you start feeling obsessed about her remember the feelings you had that made you break up with her each time.

As far as your ex wife, you only know what's on the surface that is presented to the public. Who knows what the reality of her life is. Don't think about it for a moment. Your daughter adoring the other guy speaks to what a loving happy little girl she is, not necessarily that much to do with him. Be proud you've helped create such a loving creature.
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Old 24th February 2018, 12:31 PM   #66
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Originally Posted by TeddyPSmith View Post
Another tough morning. Iím getting hit with all this crap at once. My ex wife is thriving. Sheís got two more children from her affair partner, a dream house, my daughter adores that piece of $hit. He actually picks her up from school to take her to lunch. And here I am, reeling from this breakup, like a limb thatís had a tourniquet applied to it, slowly rotting and waiting to fall off.

At some point Iím going to stop wallowing in this mess. Iíve got to get off my a$$ and make my own future.
Getting off your a$$ and moving forward. So much easier said than done though. I know everything I SHOULD be doing to move on, but sometimes knowing what to do is not the same as actually being able to do it. I know a lot of people on here just tell you to move on like it is a flip of a switch, but not all of us can do it that way. I am right there with you, today is day 21 and these last few days have been a killer. I wanted to reach out to her SO bad. I went out with a different girl last night, we had a great time, she spent the night... but all I could think about was my ex. Brutal feeling lol

That's my update Teddy. In a weird way, knowing you are in the same situation as I, makes it a tiny bit easier for me to deal.
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Old 24th February 2018, 12:44 PM   #67
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So, what are you two gents doing today, for yourselves? Little golf,snow skiing,strip clubs? whatever you damn well please? Being single isn't really that bad..
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Old 24th February 2018, 1:02 PM   #68
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Originally Posted by Lloyd4Christmas View Post
Getting off your a$$ and moving forward. So much easier said than done though. I know everything I SHOULD be doing to move on, but sometimes knowing what to do is not the same as actually being able to do it. I know a lot of people on here just tell you to move on like it is a flip of a switch, but not all of us can do it that way. I am right there with you, today is day 21 and these last few days have been a killer. I wanted to reach out to her SO bad. I went out with a different girl last night, we had a great time, she spent the night... but all I could think about was my ex. Brutal feeling lol

That's my update Teddy. In a weird way, knowing you are in the same situation as I, makes it a tiny bit easier for me to deal.
Glad to see youíre getting out. I just donít know if I could go out with anyone at the moment. I definitely admire you for going for it!
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Old 24th February 2018, 1:04 PM   #69
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So, what are you two gents doing today, for yourselves? Little golf,snow skiing,strip clubs? whatever you damn well please? Being single isn't really that bad..
Going to a beer festival with some friends. If I end up in a strip club I wonít complain! I think a little makeout session would donme some good
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Old 24th February 2018, 1:08 PM   #70
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Teddy, I've read your earlier posts and you had very good reasons for parting with your girlfriend. You weren't expecting too much, her behavior was a valid reason for concern. Those things aren't likely to change. You broke up with her multiple times - it's highly unlikely it will ever work. When you start feeling obsessed about her remember the feelings you had that made you break up with her each time.

As far as your ex wife, you only know what's on the surface that is presented to the public. Who knows what the reality of her life is. Don't think about it for a moment. Your daughter adoring the other guy speaks to what a loving happy little girl she is, not necessarily that much to do with him. Be proud you've helped create such a loving creature.
Thanks for the kind words and solid advice. Itís often difficult for me to remember anything negative about her. I mean I know itís there but it as no feelings attached to the thought. I suppose some part of why Iím so crushed is the total rejection from someone that seemed to really be into me for so long. I donít think this is phasing her at all
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Old 24th February 2018, 1:11 PM   #71
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Going to a beer festival with some friends. If I end up in a strip club I wonít complain! I think a little makeout session would donme some good
There ya go!
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Old 24th February 2018, 3:04 PM   #72
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So, what are you two gents doing today, for yourselves? Little golf,snow skiing,strip clubs? whatever you damn well please? Being single isn't really that bad..
Currently in grad school, so I probably should be doing my hw... but playing video games sounds way better. I used to play a ton before my last relationship. When we were together, I couldn't find the time. Now I have plenty!

Teddy, enjoy that beer festival. Sounds like a blast. Strip club sounds pretty good right now as well haha
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Old 25th February 2018, 4:10 PM   #73
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I had a pretty eventful weekend. Lots of social stuff. Still came back to the empty house, went to sleep at 9, laid in bed all morning, cried, called people to talk about this crap. Iím reading about people that go for months and months, some years, getting over this kind of thing. Iím only 2 weeks in and I feel worse than I did before. Itís like the reality of it still hasnít sunk in. The loneliness is deafening. At some point I can see the benefit of getting out of the house more. I just feel like thereís no point. At my age I should be solidly with a family and having another kid or two, taking family vacations.

I realize there is a lot of repetition on here. Sorry for being so melancholy and of no hope. Iíve just decided to use this forum as my journal so that maybe some day I can look back and read these posts and think ďdamn, Iím so glad Iím not at that point anymoreĒ. Thank you to any commenters as well. Itís nice to read otherís views.
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Old 25th February 2018, 5:36 PM   #74
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Originally Posted by TeddyPSmith View Post
I had a pretty eventful weekend. Lots of social stuff. Still came back to the empty house, went to sleep at 9, laid in bed all morning, cried, called people to talk about this crap. Iím reading about people that go for months and months, some years, getting over this kind of thing. Iím only 2 weeks in and I feel worse than I did before. Itís like the reality of it still hasnít sunk in. The loneliness is deafening. At some point I can see the benefit of getting out of the house more. I just feel like thereís no point. At my age I should be solidly with a family and having another kid or two, taking family vacations.

I realize there is a lot of repetition on here. Sorry for being so melancholy and of no hope. Iíve just decided to use this forum as my journal so that maybe some day I can look back and read these posts and think ďdamn, Iím so glad Iím not at that point anymoreĒ. Thank you to any commenters as well. Itís nice to read otherís views.
Same here, I thought I finally found the person I was going to start a family with and take those family vacations... and then poof, gone just like that. I wish I could say it is getting easier, but it really isn't. Though I able to eat and sleep now, and no more emotional outbursts. Each day brings more of the realization that she is never coming back. In the first few weeks that is really all you have to hold on to. Now that is gone and it is demoralizing. Sunday afternoons/nights are the loneliest for sure. I question if I really ever want to fall in love again. Doesn't seem worth it.
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Old 26th February 2018, 8:42 PM   #75
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I wonder the same thing Lloyd. Whatís the damn point.

Iím really finding it depressing when I have my daughter. Itís like Iím this middle aged single dad and canít provide a family for her. I had a ready made family. It felt so much more natural than this does. The most attractive and interesting girl Iíve ever dated and I totally took her for granted. She was so into me and I just let everything bother me. Iím afraid someone like her will never come around again. What are the chances. I was absolutely beside myself when we matched on Tinder and she messaged me. She wasnít easy to date but I couldíve been better. ****
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