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Are these breadcrumbs?


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 16th February 2018, 10:42 AM   #16
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Yesterday was more tears. I actually left work early to go hang out with a friend. After talking with him I felt a bit better. He helped me realize that there are far worse things in this world than a breakup, even though it doesnít feel like it. He also gave me some scoop about my ex. Mutual friends told him that the reason it wouldnít work is bc I would never put my ex above my child. Also bc I was critical of her lazy lifestyle. These seem like obvious things to me. I felt much better last night. Even hopeful. But I woke up early in the morning and did a drive by of her house to see if sheíd found anyone new. I know it was dumb.

No tears this morning but more a sense of aching depression and sadness. The tears were better bc I felt a little relief after. This just feels more permanent. Iím having flashbacks of the beginning of our relationship and itís bringing all manners of pain. Maybe my brain is doing all it can to get me back to the addiction of ďloveĒ?
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Old 17th February 2018, 8:50 AM   #17
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Are these breadcrumbs?

Broke up about a month ago. Havenít spoken in 2 weeks when she made it clear that there is no chance.

Recently she clicked ďinterestedĒ on a Facebook event that I was going to. We are still friends on Facebook and Iím sure she knew Iíd be going. Itís also something that Iíve gone to every time itís been offered. She normally works that night so not sure how sheíd attend unless she took off.

I also got a text from her thanking me for dropping off something that belonged to her. It was really a trivial item but she wanted it back so I did it soon to get it over with. Her text said ďthank you. it wasnít important that I get it back so soonĒ.

I didnít go to the event and I didnít respond to the text. I canít tell if these are games, breadcrumbs, or maybe sheís so over it that she wants to be cordial and friendly. What do yous guys think?
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Old 17th February 2018, 9:12 AM   #18
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Assume cordial unless explicitly stated, there are no indications of breadcrumbs here, block your ex so you don't need to ponder on every single thing she does
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Old 17th February 2018, 9:58 AM   #19
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Anything short of "Let's talk about getting back together" is a breadcrumb.

If you can't bring yourself to disconnect on social media, at least unfollow her so her stuff doesn't come up in your feed. I recommend disconnecting. Why do you want to see what she's doing, see the happy pictures of her with a new guy ? Why would you continue to allow her to have that kind of intimate access into your life? When you break up, you need to break apart.
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Old 17th February 2018, 10:40 AM   #20
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If you can't bring yourself to disconnect on social media, at least unfollow her so her stuff doesn't come up in your feed. I recommend disconnecting. Why do you want to see what she's doing, see the happy pictures of her with a new guy ?
I just can’t. I know it’s not “by the book” but I’m not ready yet. I suppose I’m holding out hope. Maybe I know that if I remove her then it’s a done deal forever. I know it makes no sense. Seeing her with a new guy would be painful but also final.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 17th February 2018 at 12:23 PM.. Reason: Fix quote
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Old 17th February 2018, 2:23 PM   #21
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Hey man, just to let you know, you're not alone. It's been 14 days since the breakup without one word from her. Like you, I couldn't function, I would just lose it emotionally out of nowhere, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, lost about 5-10 lbs, and all I wanted was to be with her. I'd say the first 10 days or so I just replayed everything in my head over and over and it drove me into a deep depression.

Within the last couple of days I have started to sleep through the night, and eat an actual meal. These are small victories, but are steps on the way back to normalcy. I have also been searching for a therapist who can help with my exact issues. My days are still are struggle, but I am moving on to the acceptance stage now. Keep doing you. WE got this
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Old 17th February 2018, 3:14 PM   #22
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Man I needed to hear that. Thanks so much. I feel so alone. Itís the only thing I think or talk about. I feel that Iím desperate to get her back. Like everything was bc I didnít do it right. But every now and then I get a glimmer of what she did that sometimes caused my actions. Small victories
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Old 17th February 2018, 7:40 PM   #23
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To answer your questions, I do not think it was breadcrumbs. I think it was facebook. It take little to no effort or thought to click "like". Maybe she wants to go? who knows? and more importantly, why care. Again, it is just facebook.


As far as the thank you text, I think that was kindness.


You say you aren't ready to get off facebook because it would mean it was final? How so? If you are meant to be together, being friends on facebook will have nothing to do with.


Point is, it is hindering your process, deactivate until you heal.
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Old 17th February 2018, 11:03 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by TeddyPSmith View Post
It’s ironic that I thought I wanted to be single and alone while we were still together. The relationship had slipped away to that point. God I wish I would’ve worked on our issues instead of being so stubborn. She was also stubborn but I could’ve done my part. Note to anyone that’s complacent and arrogant in your relationship...when they’re gone, they’re gone and being alone isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Don't torture yourself over this, this is a very common feeling and we all feel like this sometimes. When my girlfriend and I were together I started feeling indifferent and started craving my single life again. After she broke up with me I felt so empty, depressed and lonely and just wanted everything I had before back, but unfortunately it was too late for me. I'm still trying to search for what I lost and once I find it I'm going to use this as a learning experience to remind myself that the alternative isn't always better.
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Old 17th February 2018, 11:53 PM   #25
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Today absolutely sucked. I feel that Iím getting worse. I sent a desperate text to her bc I couldnít stand it. I donít know that Iíll hear from her again. I think my stand-offishness (attempting to get closure by rushing the process) has pushed her away. Well actually it wouldnít surprise me if she dated a few guys and then came checking back in on me.

I feel like nothing I do even makes any sense. I can tell people that she had bad qualities and out the other side of my mouth defend her. In my heart I knew we should break up but now I miss her terribly. Are these hormones? Some evolutionary trickery thatís getting the best of me? Did I make a horrible judgement call by passively ending the relationship?

Hopefully I can learn some lessons. Iím getting a bit old to do this again.
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Old 18th February 2018, 1:04 AM   #26
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Had a very frank conversation tonight. It couldnít be any clearer that itís over. Sheís actually giving me advice to get over her. She feels nothing from this breakup.
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Old 18th February 2018, 2:41 AM   #27
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Originally Posted by TeddyPSmith View Post
Had a very frank conversation tonight. It couldnít be any clearer that itís over. Sheís actually giving me advice to get over her. She feels nothing from this breakup.
Look,buddy. You need to delete/block her from any social media,block her from your phone and save some face here! I know it sucks HARD!! I've been there,BUT do not let this be become one of the 10-24page threads that pop up on here looking for support and going against all rational advice given. Support is a great thing,but only if you use the support given. Otherwise it's nothing. Stop talking to this woman and anyone that talks to her,don't talk about her to them.They will tell her. No love letters or grand gestures..Nothing. It's done..NEXT! Get on with your life,unload on some trusted friends,but not for too long and enjoy watching your little girl grow. They grow up fast and there's always time for 'other' women in our lives. You'll be fine,man.
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Old 18th February 2018, 4:29 AM   #28
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No, I know exactly where it stands now. I will only be posting as a place to write down my feelings and to get advice on coping. She removed all doubt and Iím grateful.
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Old 18th February 2018, 7:44 PM   #29
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Today has been absolutely debilitating. Had to bring my child to my parents. I had a long talk with a friend and he helped me realize some of the negative things about her, justifying my original reasons for wanting to break up. My parents helped too. As soon as I got home it was back to square one, bawling my eyes out. Itís only been 8 days and I see no end in sight. I wish I had a timeline so I could at least tough it out.
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Old 18th February 2018, 7:51 PM   #30
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Well this will get better. Just give yourself time to heal and realize there is NOTHING wrong with feeling bad about a break up. Just let the feelings come and then let them go when they go.

Breadcrumbs are anything other than their directly and forwardly asking for another chance... at least wanting to talk about it like adults.
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