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Ex contacted me after 4 months


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Hi everyone. The first couple months after my breakup I was on this forum ALL THE TIME. So quick back story. I have been broken up with my ex for about 5 months, last contact 4 months. She started dating her new boyfriend weeks (like 2-3) after we broke up, which tore me to pieces. So I wasn't tempted to contact her or anything. Anyway, about 3 weeks ago someone very close to me passed away. We still have a couple mutual people I know we both still talk to so I'm not surprised it got back to her.

 

So last night, I'm watching TV when in comes in this text: "I hope you are doing well. I'm sorry about everything you are going through and if you need a friend, a shoulder, whatever...I'm here. If not, either way I wish you the best." I responded "This is a tough one, I'll be OK. Thanks for your thoughts." She responded, "definitely, let me know if you need anything, please." I'm so weirded out because I knew she was in another relationship and I really expected to never hear from her again. So this morning I decided to check her facebook. BAD IDEA!!!! I haven't checked it in probably 2 months. Anyway, I see that she is in Hawaii with her new boyfriend!!!!

 

This girl was toxic and all around bad for me. If it was anyone else I would know that they just wanted to be a friend and there for me but with this girl, who the hell knows what her intentions are. I know I'm really reading in to this but it was just a huge shock. I don't know what her texts mean. You guys think it's innocent or what?

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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Breadcrumbs. They all want to be friends after.

 

Big mistake responding. You just set yourself back.

 

Block her like you should have upfront and move on like she did.

 

At this time the only one keeping you in this is you.

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It's funny, because I received a similar text from my ex-girlfriend 2 weeks ago. She said she was basically here for me to help me with my pain, which I found odd because she's the one that put me into this state. She doesn't want to reconcile, I think she just likes to torture me.

 

Anyway, please don't read that much into what she is saying, it doesn't mean she wants to get back together. They always like to keep us around as friends or a backup plan in case something doesn't work out. Don't settle for being someones backup plan.

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They just want to relieve themselves from the guilt. Now since you have responded, you just made them feel good about themselves, even after what they did. That's what No contact actually is for. It's not about being bitter, or what, but it's for yourself. I know there will come a time when the both of you needed to see each other or contact each other again, but that is only if BOTH OF YOU have already moved on. No emotions attached, no expectations, etc.

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Just ignore her from now on. Block her on social media and from your phone. You say she was toxic and you now know she is involved with someone else. Ex's are ex's for a reason, leave her in the past. You owe her nothing.

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