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It feels so good to cut someone out who doesn't appreciate you


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 8th February 2018, 11:14 PM   #1
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It feels so good to cut someone out who doesn't appreciate you

Been dating this girl since the end of Dec. We have been on probably 7 dates. Dates that I set up (all of them) and always said I had a great time..i really like you ECT after the date/during without her ever initiaing that first txt like that.

Would go hours or days without txting back yet would have time for snapchat or facebook. Called her last week but didn't answer...txted 4 hours later saying sorry i missed the call I was cooking dinner...but wouldn't call back. She was sick and I wanted to check in on her. So that ended me ever calling again.

Now she always wanted to hang out and never bailed on me and always smiled and laughed and enjoyed my time I could tell but i needed to know more so 2 weeks ago I asked how she thought it was going and she said she liked where we were at and it's going really well but she wanted to take it slow. ( She has bad anxiety and is a bit..spacey so i said no worries it's probably that)

Well fast forward to this week. 5 txts since Monday...I mentioned twice about doing something Friday night (stupid me). 2 responses back that never even mentioned it like I never said it. Txted me last night completely unrelated to what I sent her earlier in the day about Friday with "Hey! How was your day today?" And that was it...didn't mention about doing something friday like my txts weren't going though (They obviously are)...so I didn't respond until like noon today.

Finally done talking with her and wasting my time caring about someone who clearly doesn't feel the same or if she does...she has a messed up way of showing it. Given what I know about her and how she acts...it could be a messed up way of showing it because she is a bit awkward/nervous/anxious but I just can't do it no matter what.

But boy it feels great to not chase someone even if you really like them and have pride in myself to say why should I bend over and give her the world when she can't return a simple call or suggest a place for a date?

Sorry for the long rant\story but if this is happening to you...just end it and a weight will lift off your shoulders!

Good learning experience once again and if anything it shows I am gaining confidence in talking with women..something that my ex broke in my for a long time but I am back!

Last edited by Brady_to_Moss; 8th February 2018 at 11:19 PM..
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Old 8th February 2018, 11:23 PM   #2
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The first problem - TEXTING. It's no way to build a relationship. Find a woman who wants to spend time in person, and actually answers the phone. Texting is NOPE.
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Old 8th February 2018, 11:28 PM   #3
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The first problem - TEXTING. It's no way to build a relationship. Find a woman who wants to spend time in person, and actually answers the phone. Texting is NOPE.
She did want to spend time in person...always did as did I because she's horrible at txting but nothing like the past week has gone. I mean if she's posting on SC or Facebook..but can't just txt yes or no for Friday..I can't mean that much to her.

The whole not answering the phone I get if she was busy..but at least call me back? If not that night the next night....show me you want to chat.

If a girl I was dating called and I missed it...i wouldn't just leave her hanging..I would call back as most normal people would.

Last edited by Brady_to_Moss; 8th February 2018 at 11:30 PM..
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Old 8th February 2018, 11:38 PM   #4
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As soon as a girl stops responding to my texts or takes days to respond, I know it's history, even if I get to go on a date with her. A second date is unlikely.

Here's a little advice:

The girl I'm seeing right now sometimes takes three hours to respond if she's busy, but told me when she gave me her number that she's a bad texter. However, as we go on more dates (we've been on two), she responds quicker, and initiates quite a bit too.

We also don't text every day. If she suggests we should check in every day, I will start doing so. I have found a little distance helps when dating especially since she's an introvert.

Lastly, I think your timing of the "where are we at" convo was perfect. I say by date four to six is when the couple should start focusing on them and both should cut out any other candidates or end it. You took it slow enough spacing out the seven dates.

If you had taken her out on an eighth date, I would have made her go dutch, and on any date following that unless she agreed to become exclusive. Hate to say it, she may have been using you for free fun if you were paying. I'll pay for up to six dates, but after that, I expect you to become exclusive with me, and focus solely on our relationship.
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Old 8th February 2018, 11:47 PM   #5
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As soon as a girl stops responding to my texts or takes days to respond, I know it's history, even if I get to go on a date with her. A second date is unlikely.

Here's a little advice:

The girl I'm seeing right now sometimes takes three hours to respond if she's busy, but told me when she gave me her number that she's a bad texter. However, as we go on more dates (we've been on two), she responds quicker, and initiates quite a bit too.

We also don't text every day. If she suggests we should check in every day, I will start doing so. I have found a little distance helps when dating especially since she's an introvert.

Lastly, I think your timing of the "where are we at" convo was perfect. I say by date four to six is when the couple should start focusing on them and both should cut out any other candidates or end it. You took it slow enough spacing out the seven dates.

If you had taken her out on an eighth date, I would have made her go dutch, and on any date following that unless she agreed to become exclusive. Hate to say it, she may have been using you for free fun if you were paying. I'll pay for up to six dates, but after that, I expect you to become exclusive with me, and focus solely on our relationship.
Yeah and I spaced them out enough to give her that space. With that where are we at convo I never mentioned being exclusive although I kinda wanted to and actually after I was going to see her this weekend mention that to her..but now that I won't be meeting her even if she wants to meet...that ain't happening.

That's what I expected like your situation. If you're a bad txter..fine. But as we go along..i expect her to get a bit better if she cares and initiate the txts or what day/kind of date she wants...take the initiative ladies if you like a guy..I like that in women but she never did. She would say after a day or two of not responding like "omg I am so sorry..I am really bad with my phone sometimes"

And I paid for like 2 dates...the rest we split and she even paid for one
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Old 8th February 2018, 11:56 PM   #6
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And I paid for like 2 dates...the rest we split and she even paid for one
You play a better game than me! Glad you didn't pay for a ton of dates for her to only leave you out in the cold like that. That may be another sign that she's not interested. Most of the time a DECENT girl will put her feet down and insist they pay if they're losing interest so that they feel they don't owe you anything.
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Old 9th February 2018, 12:00 AM   #7
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Not saying you did or didn't do the right thing. This obviously wasn't meeting your needs, in which case cutting it off is best for you. But, did you ever mention you like connecting over the phone and ask her how she felt about it? Sometimes people with bad anxiety positively hate talking on the phone, no matter who is calling. It's called telephonophobia (seriously). Anyway, listen to your gut-- if it said she's not that into you AND you're not getting your needs met, double whammy, get out of there!
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Old 9th February 2018, 12:25 AM   #8
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You play a better game than me! Glad you didn't pay for a ton of dates for her to only leave you out in the cold like that. That may be another sign that she's not interested. Most of the time a DECENT girl will put her feet down and insist they pay if they're losing interest so that they feel they don't owe you anything.
She was a cool girl..why I really liked her and hoped that it would work out and I was hoping she would show an interest in me and actually prove it as we went along..just didn't happen...felt stuck in the same thing with nothing changing. Maybe it would in a another month since she wanted to take it slow..but my gut just said...**** it She's either pulling away or I just don't want this.

When she paid she said...I got this one..you get the next.

I took her to a bruins game ( we live in the boston area) and I paid for the ticket..and she took care of the beer so it evened out
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Old 9th February 2018, 12:30 AM   #9
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Not saying you did or didn't do the right thing. This obviously wasn't meeting your needs, in which case cutting it off is best for you. But, did you ever mention you like connecting over the phone and ask her how she felt about it? Sometimes people with bad anxiety positively hate talking on the phone, no matter who is calling. It's called telephonophobia (seriously). Anyway, listen to your gut-- if it said she's not that into you AND you're not getting your needs met, double whammy, get out of there!
No i never did and maybe I should have sent that message or txt after she never called back but I knew the txt may never get an actual response as she would txt me with things unrelated to what I said..like she wasn't listening and I didn't want to repeat it..just like this week me repeating " Wanna go out Friday?" Then.."Let me know about Friday" but neither got an answer aka she can't care that much.

When we saw each other in person it felt like a 2 way street..but outside of that it was all 1 way. I don't want to be the one to always say we should hang out on so and so day..or do this and that. I need a girl that can tell me..hey let's go to a movie Saturday or what day this week works for you. Something I never got

Shy girls seem to be such a challenge and may be worth it in the end..but idk my gut said I am better than this and don't want to invest my time worrying about setting everything up

Last edited by Brady_to_Moss; 9th February 2018 at 12:32 AM..
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Old 9th February 2018, 12:36 AM   #10
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No i never did and maybe I should have sent that message or txt after she never called back but I knew the txt may never get an actual response as she would txt me with things unrelated to what I said..like she wasn't listening and I didn't want to repeat it..just like this week me repeating " Wanna go out Friday?" Then.."Let me know about Friday" but neither got an answer aka she can't care that much.

When we saw each other in person it felt like a 2 way street..but outside of that it was all 1 way. I don't want to be the one to always say we should hang out on so and so day..or do this and that. I need a girl that can tell me..hey let's go to a movie Saturday or what day this week works for you. Something I never got

Shy girls seem to be such a challenge and may be worth it in the end..but idk my gut said I am better than this and don't want to invest my time worrying about setting everything up
yeah I think you did the right here brother, if it's right it works and it's a two way street not just one side making everything work. Move on and don't look back. Of course now that you've cut bait she may come back all eager and then you gotta decision to make.
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Old 9th February 2018, 12:37 AM   #11
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You might miss that person, but its a good feeling to regain that self respect. Its what I'm going thru right now with a guy who I realized, I meant nothing to. You seem like you made the right decision. She seemed to be using you for free dates.
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Old 9th February 2018, 12:41 AM   #12
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yeah I think you did the right here brother, if it's right it works and it's a two way street not just one side making everything work. Move on and don't look back. Of course now that you've cut bait she may come back all eager and then you gotta decision to make.
Watch..i won't talk to her anymore and i'll get txts every day about how my day was...and watch..she will initiate a date..but I won't bet my life savings on it lol

If she really does have a messed up way of showing she was into me or the reason for this was her shyness or anxiety..I could see her saying what happened or I will be better at so and so and be eager.

Hopefully this is a learning experience for her as well if that is the case..that if you DO like someone..say it once in a while..out of the blue..or call the guy she is into and set things ups.

But she lost a good guy and she will just have to deal unfortunately...that is if she did really care and wanted to take things very slow

Last edited by Brady_to_Moss; 9th February 2018 at 12:45 AM..
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Old 9th February 2018, 12:54 AM   #13
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She was a cool girl..why I really liked her and hoped that it would work out and I was hoping she would show an interest in me and actually prove it as we went along..just didn't happen...felt stuck in the same thing with nothing changing. Maybe it would in a another month since she wanted to take it slow..but my gut just said...**** it She's either pulling away or I just don't want this.

When she paid she said...I got this one..you get the next.

I took her to a bruins game ( we live in the boston area) and I paid for the ticket..and she took care of the beer so it evened out
You know it stinks, but she sounds like a good person. How old are you OP? And how old was the young lady? If she was younger than 25, perhaps she wants to play the field, and doesn't want to date seriously unless she meets somebody she falls for right away.
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Old 9th February 2018, 1:00 AM   #14
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You know it stinks, but she sounds like a good person. How old are you OP? And how old was the young lady? If she was younger than 25, perhaps she wants to play the field, and doesn't want to date seriously unless she meets somebody she falls for right away.
No she is a really good person at heart..I could tell that right away...why it sucks.

I am 29 she is 28. Not sure when her last relationship was but she said her ex was big into collecting autographs like me..i didn't dig any deeper.

The way she was going slow led me to believe either she took it hard with her ex..or she maybe has feelings still..or shy..1 of 10000 things it could be why it was a 1 way street unfortunately.

It sucks but I think she has to learn if she wants a relationship..she needs to change some of the things she does or doesn't do.

I feel like she won't miss me but i could be completely wrong..we rarely talked via txt and zero phone as I tried to go and take small steps for her...just wasn't' into it I guess or got her at a bad time.

Last edited by Brady_to_Moss; 9th February 2018 at 1:06 AM..
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Old 9th February 2018, 4:41 AM   #15
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Brady to Moss,
I have a suggestion for you.

Why not pick up the phone and actually talk to girls in future?

What is all this texting rubbish?
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