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I was dumped.


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 6th February 2018, 5:22 PM   #31
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Originally Posted by JennFoss View Post
Makes PERFECT sense! Actually when we were talking before he blamed me for a big part of how it fell apart, he said well I know it takes two, I depended on you to tell me you werenít enjoying the rough sex. Like buddy, Iím not the one who had to numb herself, I was 100% present. Heís so out of it that he canít take responsibility for his mistakes. Then tells me heís having rough sex with that new girl and how he missed how intense the sex we had was.

Him sharing that about her too? Low class.
He needs a therapist. Fast.
Typical vile behaviour. SO predictable, none of it surprises me one bit.
A/ he's trying to gaslight you by trying to blame it on you.
B/ sounds like he's starting to get bored already of his shiny new toy. How quick this one moves. He's started the devaluing stage and telling you this personal stuff about his sexlife to try to wean his way back in with you to get a new supply of ego from you....

But...how are you hearing this stuff? Are you still in contact with him? You're setting yourself back everytime you do that.
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Old 6th February 2018, 6:15 PM   #32
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hey there,
i've read your post and this guy is toxic, has social or mental issues and i'd try not to have anything to do with him. i know it hurt when you love someone who breaks your heart but YOU are now YOUR focus.

I agree with pinkpaw:

- go no contact as in "ignore him". he may return and you'd have ignore him. he may try other ways (email, front door, third party, etc.) to reach out but you should ignore him;

i'd add:

- go gym: work out. it releases the stress your body feels in this context. you also tell your body that you want some change, and the body reacts to that.

- go comedies. do watch films or videos that make you laugh. it is psychosomatic: when you laugh you tell your body (stomach and all other organs) that you're happy and your body believes you. it changes your mood.

- go style. i am myself a man and went through something like this. i took care of me style-wise. why, you tell yourself you are a new person. it may not be for everybody. i encourage you to at least try: you can stop it anytime anyways. go see a hair / fashion professional or document yourself through magazines.

- go out. if you have some friends go out with them, have fun and meet some new people. not to start a relationship right away (they call it rebound and it may hurt that help) but to change your environment.

good luck and be strong
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Old 6th February 2018, 9:18 PM   #33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkpaw View Post
Typical vile behaviour. SO predictable, none of it surprises me one bit.
A/ he's trying to gaslight you by trying to blame it on you.
B/ sounds like he's starting to get bored already of his shiny new toy. How quick this one moves. He's started the devaluing stage and telling you this personal stuff about his sexlife to try to wean his way back in with you to get a new supply of ego from you....

But...how are you hearing this stuff? Are you still in contact with him? You're setting yourself back everytime you do that.
Oh this is from the last conversation before Iíve blocked him. Some things when you hear during a phone call donít really get processed until much later when you think about them or when you share them with others. Iím definitely not going back because now the price is simply too high, the price is my SOUL. I gotta focus on healing. He wonít heal, I know he will start feeling worse and worse as time goes on. This is nothing yet.

Also in my heart of hearts that new relationship will collapse cause itís based on lies, she doesnít even know that he just ended a relationship. Sheís also gone alone because of her job so he wonít be able to use her as a distraction forever, his negative feelings will simmer then explode and heíll be crying eating his cereal in the morning.
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Old 6th February 2018, 9:22 PM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by benjamin2018 View Post
hey there,
i've read your post and this guy is toxic, has social or mental issues and i'd try not to have anything to do with him. i know it hurt when you love someone who breaks your heart but YOU are now YOUR focus.

I agree with pinkpaw:

- go no contact as in "ignore him". he may return and you'd have ignore him. he may try other ways (email, front door, third party, etc.) to reach out but you should ignore him;

i'd add:

- go gym: work out. it releases the stress your body feels in this context. you also tell your body that you want some change, and the body reacts to that.

- go comedies. do watch films or videos that make you laugh. it is psychosomatic: when you laugh you tell your body (stomach and all other organs) that you're happy and your body believes you. it changes your mood.

- go style. i am myself a man and went through something like this. i took care of me style-wise. why, you tell yourself you are a new person. it may not be for everybody. i encourage you to at least try: you can stop it anytime anyways. go see a hair / fashion professional or document yourself through magazines.

- go out. if you have some friends go out with them, have fun and meet some new people. not to start a relationship right away (they call it rebound and it may hurt that help) but to change your environment.

good luck and be strong
Iím always happy when men comment cause you guys decode the man code for us, sometimes I feel like men are aliens or Iím the alien because I am naive. Iíve started going to the gym twice a week and just actually got my hair dyed in highlights and bought a few new dresses! Iím also trying to start off a new job so Iím focusing on getting a few licenses for that. I gotta focus on myself now! Honestly that relationship was sucking the life out of me. It did me no good. My head knows it and my heart needs to catch up.

Iím definitely staying away from dating now, I gotta recover, Iím not as stupid as him to try to heal my breakup with another inevitable breakup. That truly showed how weak he is.
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Old 7th February 2018, 4:51 PM   #35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JennFoss View Post
Oh this is from the last conversation before Iíve blocked him. Some things when you hear during a phone call donít really get processed until much later when you think about them or when you share them with others. Iím definitely not going back because now the price is simply too high, the price is my SOUL. I gotta focus on healing. He wonít heal, I know he will start feeling worse and worse as time goes on. This is nothing yet.

Also in my heart of hearts that new relationship will collapse cause itís based on lies, she doesnít even know that he just ended a relationship. Sheís also gone alone because of her job so he wonít be able to use her as a distraction forever, his negative feelings will simmer then explode and heíll be crying eating his cereal in the morning.
He'll never heal, he'll keep repeating the same cycle. But that's on him. YOU'RE the important one in your situation.
Yes, it's normal to process things later on as you reflect, and glad to hear you're not talking to him.
You're doing well and remembering all these unpleasant details is really good, conversely, as it helps the fantasy image diminish and the truth to set it. And the truth sets you free.

Don't worry about the new relationship ending (it of course, will). Irrespective of that, keep the focus on you and your healing.
pinkpaw is offline   Reply With Quote
 

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