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Ex gf broke up with me about 2 months ago


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

 
 
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Old 31st December 2017, 9:03 PM   #1
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Ex gf broke up with me about 2 months ago

First off, I want to start by saying that my ex gf and I are both pretty young. I'm 18 and she's 17. We dated for about a year and 5 months and she broke up with me about 2 months ago saying that she was unhappy with the relationship and that she didn't know if she loved me anymore. Now, our first year of the relationship was amazing (she told me that) but she said that for the last couple months she was unhappy because I didn't give her enough attention and I didn't treat her right. I do not deny this because I had grown complacent and I just didn't want to do much. I took her for granted and it was a big mistake! I was about 3 hours away at the time because I am in college and she is not. We broke up through a heated argument and I did the mistake of begging, pleading, asking for a second chance, and asking for closure. She was nice enough to give me her "reasons" for why she wanted to break up and I realized that all my begging and pleading was pushing her away. I mean it got to a point where she was telling me to leave her alone. I know, I was a mess. I had never been broken up with so I did all the rookie mistakes.

Fast forward about a week later and we meet up to hang out. She was cold towards me, which was expected, and I was being dumb and trying to flirt with her and stuff. She did not warm up to me and she even told me to stop trying to get back together. Nothing happened that day, we just hung out, she gave me closure, and we went our separate ways. What I noticed when we hung out was that she was talking to this one dude a lot on the phone. She met this dude a while ago but never told me about him because they never talked. She started talking to him at about the end of October and her and I broke up at around mid November.

I asked her about him while we were hanging out and she told me that she doesn't like him and that he's just a friend. Well, a few weeks later I find out that she likes him, he likes her, they're a thing and they've been "together" since about 2 weeks after we broke up. So she lied to me but I don't blame her for trying to hide if from me because when I found out, I went crazy. Crazy in a sense that she's gone and I was depressed.

So we've still been talking, somewhat limited contact, and after finding out about her and him I went crazy on her. She blocked my number so I could stop calling her but we still talk on social media (because i'm dumb and I initiate all contact). Well, me being the nosy type, I asked her about their relationship and she says that she's with him because he makes her happy, he gives her what I couldn't, and that she didn't like him until after she hung out with him. She also told me that she doesn't want to date him and that she knows that they aren't going to last forever and all that other stuff. Which I find hard to believe since she was able to easily lie to me but it's fine I didn't want to know more.

So now it has been two months and I feel a lot better and our contact has been lessening more each day because, although I still love her and want to be with her, I can't really do anything to make her change her mind. We hung out today because I asked her if we can hang out one last time to end everything peacefully and so that there will be no bad blood because the breakup was pretty bad. Well, I went through this expecting us to hang out one last time and then part ways but after hanging out she said that she really enjoyed it and that we can see each other again in the future. However, she said that it's best if we don't do it too often and that we can maybe hang out again in a couple months. Now I know not to take this as a sign that she is attracted to me again and i'm not hopeful or anything. I feel like she said that because she want to be friends but I know that's impossible for me right now since I still love her.

So this is what happened during our hang out. We caught up, told each other what we have been up to and everything. She asked me if I am happy now (I was depressed because of the break up) and I told her that I have been a lot better now, doing things, meeting up with old friends, and all of that. She says great, saying that it's good that we're both happy now (and one thing I noticed was that she KEPT saying that she was soooooo happy now and that everything is going GREAT for her right now). I just smiled and agreed, and we just talked. We only hung out for about an hour before she left, I don't know if she wanted a hug or not because as she was leaving she turned around, hesitated for a little, and said bye, but I didn't want to hug her and make it awkward so I just smiled and waved goodbye.

That brings me to my questions.

What should I do? Is there even a slight chance she'll come back? She is still with this guy and I don't know if they're dating or not but she pretty much does everything with him and goes to his house every day. I've been forcing myself to move on, try new things, be happy, and all of that. However, there's still a small part of me that hopes that she'll come back because she was honestly an amazing girlfriend.

Thank you for all the advice/help!
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Old 1st January 2018, 12:15 AM   #2
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Originally Posted by onetrootree View Post
What should I do? Is there even a slight chance she'll come back? She is still with this guy and I don't know if they're dating or not but she pretty much does everything with him and goes to his house every day. I've been forcing myself to move on, try new things, be happy, and all of that. However, there's still a small part of me that hopes that she'll come back because she was honestly an amazing girlfriend.

Thank you for all the advice/help!
You should move on the best you can. No chance. Assume yes.

She couldn't have been that amazing to leave you for someone else! Mix it up at college, those girls live closer to you and are better for you anyways.
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Old 1st January 2018, 2:22 AM   #3
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Learn some self respect. You chase they always move farther away.
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Old 1st January 2018, 5:14 AM   #4
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If I was giving advice to my 18 yo self about breakups/relationships..

Never chase a woman
Never appear as needy/clingy
Focus on yourself/concentrate on your own goals
Go to the gym
Have as much fun with as many girls without involving feelings

All the best OP
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Old 1st January 2018, 3:07 PM   #5
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Thank you for the advice. I guess it was just meant to be this way.
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Old 3rd January 2018, 12:49 AM   #6
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Just found out that she is now officially with the new guy. I don't feel mad or anything. Just a little sad that it's over, but i'm actually fine now. I guess I got tired of feeling hurt but now I know that there won't be a second chance and i'm fine with that. Thanks for the help.
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Old 3rd January 2018, 2:11 AM   #7
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Just found out that she is now officially with the new guy. I don't feel mad or anything. Just a little sad that it's over, but i'm actually fine now. I guess I got tired of feeling hurt but now I know that there won't be a second chance and i'm fine with that. Thanks for the help.
Have you blocked/removed from all social media?
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Old 3rd January 2018, 3:57 AM   #8
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Yes I did.
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Old 3rd January 2018, 4:40 AM   #9
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You'll see what happens in the future, but like the others said. You're in college now, have fun!

Never assume a lover is coming back and never chase an (ex)-lover. I have done the same and I'm a few years older than you. Wish I learnt it at your age!

Believe me, this breakup might actually be good for you. To learn it at this age will make you so much better and stronger.
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Old 8th January 2018, 10:04 PM   #10
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Thank you very much. I feel a lot better these past couple of days. I had a minor setback today because my friend told me that her new boyfriend posted pictures of them together on Instagram. I looked at them and it hit me pretty hard. However, the sadness was quickly replaced by relief because now I am completely sure that I can't go back. It sucks but i'll keep pushing forward.
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