confidentchic Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 Anyone have the best ways you've used to get over a break-up? Link to post Share on other sites
Jimmy3858 Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 I could use this information too. It’s been a super rough day. Link to post Share on other sites
FilterCoffee Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 No contact is probably the best thing you can do right now. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Akashsingh Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 (edited) There are no best days, but, here is what I am doing: 1. Let go of negative emotions & forgive them. This is not for them but for your own personal sanity. 2. I asked my self, why was my ex attracted to me. (keep doing this) 3. Why was my ex pushed away from me. (Stop doing this) 4. Revenge is best served cold. There will be one day when he/she will see you in future. How would you like to come across? Successful & happy right. 5. Focus on yourself. 6. Develop your skills and personality. 7. Be the guy/girl she can't find no more or regrets losing. 8. Keep yourself busy. Someone else more beautiful and smart will enter your life. Edited December 31, 2017 by Akashsingh 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 confidentchic, I don't think there is a pat answer to this because everyone processes hurt in different ways and at different speeds but these ideas may help; 1. Go completely NC, block, delete etc Stay away from Fakebook ! 2. Get rid of any reminders of that person from your life, photos, gifts etc 3. Avoid all the places you went with him - at least for the moment. 3. Concentrate on you. Get a makeover, buy some new outfits, rethink your hair, make-up. 4. Sign up for a course, learn a new skill etc And whatever you do don't respond to any attempts from them for a "booty call". Hang on in there, you can do this x 2 Link to post Share on other sites
alterest Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 Well, like anyone else said to you: Go full NC. Delete her from social media, stop comunicate with her friends and family, do not try to get information from her, do not stalk her. Do not allowed her to use your accounts (like Netflix) for anything.. Do not talk and do not pretend to be friend, even if she told you that she want to (mine did all those things and I eat those baits and everything went worse and worse). Focus on yourself, let the pain fade away by feeling everything. If you need to cry, then cry. If you need to get angry, get angry. But let your emotions out. When focus on yourself, go read a book, watch a movie, play a game. Pick something that you always want to learn and learn. Take some project from your past and do it. I posted here about what I went and how I had a bad trip yesterday and you must know that the pain fade away and sometime it back and hit you hard in your face. And you will cry and feel emptiness and so on. But don't let it take you down, cause in the future you will get something pretty good. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.Me Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 No better way of getting over someone else than getting under someone else. Nothing wrong with a rebound fling. Many out there looking for the same thing. In my experiance the sex is usually great because of the heightened emotions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HumanMachine Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 No better way of getting over someone else than getting under someone else. Nothing wrong with a rebound fling. Many out there looking for the same thing. In my experiance the sex is usually great because of the heightened emotions. Nonsense. 10 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 MrMe #7 No better way of getting over someone else than getting under someone else. Nothing wrong with a rebound fling. Many out there looking for the same thing. In my experiance the sex is usually great because of the heightened emotions. I couldn't agree less. That ^^^ is one of those silly ideas that makes you feel great at the time but pretty $h!££y afterwards - or so I'm told by girls who were silly enough to go down that route. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.Me Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 I need a sarcasm button.... Sometimes it is just temperary and if that's a mutual agreement and understood by both parties than what harm is done? Link to post Share on other sites
HumanMachine Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 I need a sarcasm button.... Sometimes it is just temperary and if that's a mutual agreement and understood by both parties than what harm is done? Do we really need to go into why a rebound hookup is a bad idea? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Jimmy3858 Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 Yeah don’t do the rebound relationship. You’ll feel good in the moment for the dopamine release, but after it’s going to be even worse than before. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 Tend to preoccupy myself with work, hobbies, and other activities. Gym time. Focusing on fitness helps a lot. What’s equally important to me is time for reflection. Quiet time alone where I analyze the relationship. What went wrong and why? What where the warning signs? What could I have done better? What are the areas that I need to improve? That quiet time is critical for me. There is always something I need to learn. Always room for me to grow. I rarely do rebound relationships because I take the time to heal from the last one. I think it helps me to be a better person. Puts me in a better position to avoid some bad situations and appreciate some good ones. Link to post Share on other sites
TheOnlyOne73 Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 4. Revenge is best served cold. There will be one day when he/she will see you in future. How would you like to come across? Successful & happy right. I've never understood why people say you'll inevitably see them again one day, or that your "time will definitely come" where you'll get to talk to them and they'll flaunt their new life. What makes you think you'll see them again? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
magnesium Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 I've never understood why people say you'll inevitably see them again one day, or that your "time will definitely come" where you'll get to talk to them and they'll flaunt their new life. What makes you think you'll see them again? Agreed. I went NO CONTACT with the love of my life. Since then I moved half-way across the US, so in my case, it would be impossible to ever see her again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TheOnlyOne73 Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 Agreed. I went NO CONTACT with the love of my life. Since then I moved half-way across the US, so in my case, it would be impossible to ever see her again. So you never saw or spoke to her again? Did it help you move on faster, or are there still some feelings of longing? Link to post Share on other sites
1fish2fish Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 Find a new hobby and immerse yourself completely in it. I started mountain biking about a month ago, thanks to a friend's invitation, and it has become key in the final steps of my healing. I've been having trouble controlling my thoughts, and there hasn't been a day that's gone by that I haven't thought of the ex. It's a bit exhausting. Because I'm so new at mountain biking, I have to focus extra hard on staying on the trail and not crashing and it forces me to be completely in the moment. I don't have the ability to monkey brain anymore because I'm concentrating so hard. This means that for an entire hour or 2, I am not thinking about the ex. The relief is immeasurable and it's lasting longer and longer with each ride. This is the closest thing I've found to meditation, which I do plan on trying soon. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Akashsingh Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 I've never understood why people say you'll inevitably see them again one day, or that your "time will definitely come" where you'll get to talk to them and they'll flaunt their new life. What makes you think you'll see them again? When I say see, not face to face. My HS sweetheart dumped me inexplicably. I never saw her again after high school. Sent her greetings from college, got no response. But then there was no facebook that time. I saw her again on facebook when I was 32 yrs old. Almost twice the age of breakup. Because of social media and google, its different these days. You may never see them again in person but you will virtually see them on your computer. Link to post Share on other sites
TheOnlyOne73 Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 When I say see, not face to face. My HS sweetheart dumped me inexplicably. I never saw her again after high school. Sent her greetings from college, got no response. But then there was no facebook that time. I saw her again on facebook when I was 32 yrs old. Almost twice the age of breakup. Because of social media and google, its different these days. You may never see them again in person but you will virtually see them on your computer. Oh ok, I see what you mean now. I don't have Facebook so my ex would never virtually "see" me again. The only time he would see me again is face-to-face, if he turned up unexpectedly or we bumped into each other (although we live in different cities whilst I'm at university, and don't hang out at the same places back at home, when I am there). As you can see the chances of that happening are very low, if not zero. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 Break ups suck for everyone, but I feel like people who obsess over break ups the most are people who have obsessive personalities in general. People who would be obsessing about the face of penny if they weren't so focused on obsessing over their failed relationship. It's a recipe for disaster. So channel that energy to something else besides that!!! I started watching documentaries and I found myself forgetting to think about my ex for a few minutes, then a few hours, then a few days. Now I really have to struggle to think about him. He's forgotten. Now I have a documentary problem, though. No looking at them...Even if it's a picture in your mind. Out of sight out of mind is true!!!! Conjuring up imagery in your head or looking at pics of them on social media or worse. - fantasizing with that imagery and attaching yourself to a possible future or outcome with that imagery - halts or stagnates the process of moving on and prolongs your suffering. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Jimmy3858 Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 Break ups suck for everyone, but I feel like people who obsess over break ups the most are people who have obsessive personalities in general. People who would be obsessing about the face of penny if they weren't so focused on obsessing over their failed relationship. It's a recipe for disaster. So channel that energy to something else besides that!!! I started watching documentaries and I found myself forgetting to think about my ex for a few minutes, then a few hours, then a few days. Now I really have to struggle to think about him. He's forgotten. Now I have a documentary problem, though. No looking at them...Even if it's a picture in your mind. Out of sight out of mind is true!!!! Conjuring up imagery in your head or looking at pics of them on social media or worse. - fantasizing with that imagery and attaching yourself to a possible future or outcome with that imagery - halts or stagnates the process of moving on and prolongs your suffering. I couldn’t agree more with this. I just recently got out of a relationship and I literally deleted every photo, every text, all social media is blocked, anything that was a gift was thrown away and also NC for almost a week. Link to post Share on other sites
1fish2fish Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 Now I have a documentary problem, though. BAHAHAHA!!!! This really made me laugh out loud!! I don't necessarily agree about the obsessive personality thing because most breakups are complicated and angst ridden and heartbreaking and messy. I think most of us are just trying to understand what went wrong when things seemed so right even when they weren't. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.Me Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 Do we really need to go into why a rebound hookup is a bad idea? Please do. For me, the confidence booster is a good thing. Link to post Share on other sites
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