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Is she embarrassed about me?


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I have closed distance with my of 3 years (online for 2+ years) and in person for 6 months. I moved to her country but still she keeps me a secret. The first time I visited her country, she told me not to walk her at places where her friends hang out so they don't know me because she was too embarrassed to tell her friends she met a guy online, I understood that and didn't say anything. Even after I moved here and met her every week, she hasn't introduced me to any of her close friends. She did ask me once and I was busy with classes and that's it, she never brought that topic again.

 

I used to travel 2 hours from my home to her office to pick her up after work and accompany her. wherever we go, I carry her bag and everything. Last night, we were holding hands and walking in front of her office and one of her coworker saw us so she quickly grabbed her bag and told me not to walk next to her. I told her I was disappointed and she said she doesn't want her colleagues to know about her personal life. Its not just colleagues, she doesn't want her close friends knowing about me either. I feel like she is embarrassed about me or something. She doesn't have another bf, that I know for sure. The fact that she doesn't acknowledge my existence hurts me a lot and whenever I bring this up, she says I'm being whiny and immature complaining about it. What should I do? I tried talking to her about it, she says.. if you don't like it breakup, she always threatens with breakup whenever I bring something up.

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She's either embarrassed for some reason, or she's already seeing someone and you are the unwitting sidepiece. You don't know for sure she isn't; how could you possibly know if you're only exposed to a tiny fraction of her life?She only shows you what she wants you to see, and it's not very much.

 

This girl is yanking your chain. She sounds immature and hot-headed, and I am not sure why you continue tolerating it. Her excuse is lame too; if she didn't want people to know you met online, the two of you could easily come up with an alternative explanation to avoid any stigma.

 

You are not being immature by questioning why you're a secret. Don't let her pull that card when this whole situation is so abnormal. Her threatening to break up with you is a control mechanism to keep you on her leash. Stop letting her get away with it. You need to get firm on your boundaries and stop letting her wipe her feet on you, son.

 

She is hiding something from you. You can be sure of that. Is she really worth all this cloak-and-dagger nonsense?

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Why would you take this?

 

You should respect and value yourself more.

 

This, and don’t ever carry a female’s handbag!!!!

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I was in a LDR for 7 years with someone just like this.

 

There's more going on than she wants you to know.

 

It doesn't mean that she's seeing anyone else. With my ex....I always felt it was the she didn't want word out that she was taken. That would have kept something better from coming along. There was also some strange dynamics between her adult daughter and her. I was never able to get close enough to the situation to know exactly what that dynamic was. It wasn't that the daughter did not like me....but....I suspect....there may have been a bit of "I don't want to share her because it will keep her from doing things for me. She won't be at my beck and call" type of thing....even though she would tell her mother she wanted her to re-marry. And it could have been that the mother just assumed that her daughter felt that way. One more thing about my ex.....she was expert at compartmentalizing her life. She had more than one....(as we all do)....but there was something that made her *really* good at keeping one part from meeting the other part. She said that was because she was "a private person" as well. I saw it more as secrecy....not privacy.

 

It's just impossible to know. Relations between people/family can be very ... odd. lol

 

But something's going on. Your g/f is hiding *something* from you. If she's not mature enough to be honest with you about it....then she's not. Difficult to make someone be something they are not.

 

Good luck and take care.

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