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Ex started sleeping with someone else right when we started sleeping together again??


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LoserAtLove712

**Sorry for the long post but I am so hurt and confused**

 

This guy I met who I wanted a bootycall initially with but he pushed for more and pretty much got me to open up to him, ask me to be exclusive and trust him only to dump me a few days later lying saying he didn't want to but he was emotionally a mess and lashes out and didn't want to hurt me.

 

We did NC for two weeks, then ran into each other drunk, then low contact which was bootycalls (he would text multiple nights a week) that didn't happen, and everytime I saw him in public he was all over me and very affectionate.

 

So basically for the last month(month two post-BU) we have hooked up for 3 out of 4 weekends. First weekend was when he said he had feelings for me and next day that he hadn't slept with anyone, the next weekend we hooked up (he drunkenly asked me to be his gf again but I brushed it off) and he bootycalled the next day but I was busy, then a week goes and he bootycalled me that sunday but i was busy so he asked if I wanted to hang that week but it never happened, the night after we we were supposed to hang we went out in the same group, hooked up, made plans for the next night but they fell through (this thursday-saturday), then this last week he bootycalled thurs but I couldn't, then I bootycalled friday and before we were to meet i asked again about hooking up with others and he says he has hooked up with one other girl once in a blue moon but insists he never lied about not sleeping with anyone else when he said it, he started after he said that and that no actual feelings involved for me on his part for me, he had them for awhile until he realized he didn't want a relationship with anyone and he was moving in a year and didn't need anything to tie him back to here but I am leaving in a year too so that makes no sense. THIS IS 4 WEEKS AFTER HE SAID HE HAD FEELINGS AND HADNT BEEN SLEEPING WITH ANYONE. How can that be once in a blue moon?? And say he wasn't lying and hadn't slept with anyone when he said he so...so as soon as we start sleeping together nearly every weekend, with bootycalls multiple nights a week apart from the one week, NOW he decided to have sex with another girl??? And the fact that he said no feelings on his part. So he was basically lying 4 weeks ago, and then 3 weeks ago about being together again.*

 

At what point would him sleeping with someone else fall into that!?

 

I'm pissed and when he told me I told him I had cared about him but I can't do this anymore and I wished him well, then saw him 2 days later and barely acknowledged him and he came up to me later to talk and told me things didn't have to be awkward, we could be sociable and friendly since we'd run into each other and that me half saying hey to him and nothing else was the same way id greet someone id met out once. HOW does any of this make sense?? I feel disgusted that he's sleeping with someone and want to know how many times and if it was on the same weekends as me. He has her to fill his sexual needs, he doesn't need me, so why does he care that I am not being friendly? Shouldn't he be happy now?

Edited by LoserAtLove712
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Bootycall.. does that word make anyone else cringe?

 

You were FWB and you caught feelings. He is not interested in a relationship.

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LoserAtLove712

I don't exactly see how that is the case.

 

I wanted it to be just sex from the beginning but HE got upset and pushed for more, then HE asked to be exclusive sexually, then HE asked me to be official.Then 4 or 5 days after when we broke up he told me HE didn't want to break up. Two weeks later he drunkenly told me that HE loved me while at the same time HE then called me his gf again to other people

HE said he had feelings for me. HE drunkenly asked me to be his gf again 3 weeks ago. HE said he didn't want to/hadnt slept with or seen anyone else.

 

I have had feelings for him since I gave him a chance at a real relationship, I have been completely upfront about that.

 

 

NOW is when he suddenly says, he doesn't want a relationship, has no feelings for me and he started sleeping with someone once in a blue moon supposedly during the last 4 weeks that we started hooking up as 4 weeks ago is when he said he DID have feelings and hadn't been with anyone. HE initiates plans with me then doesn't follow through. HE is all over me when he sees me.

 

And now that I am trying to cut him out he thinks that me simply saying hey isn't a friendly enough greeting since we aren't strangers to the point of him approaching me in a group to "talk for a second" about it.

 

This was not me simply catching feelings and being rejected.

Edited by LoserAtLove712
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I don't exactly see how that is the case.

 

I wanted it to be just sex from the beginning but HE got upset and pushed for more, then HE asked to be exclusive sexually, then HE asked me to be official.Then 4 or 5 days after when we broke up he told me HE didn't want to break up. Two weeks later he drunkenly told me that HE loved me while at the same time HE then called me his gf again to other people

HE said he had feelings for me. HE drunkenly asked me to be his gf again 3 weeks ago. HE said he didn't want to/hadnt slept with or seen anyone else.

 

I have had feelings for him since I gave him a chance at a real relationship, I have been completely upfront about that.

 

 

NOW is when he suddenly says, he doesn't want a relationship, has no feelings for me and he started sleeping with someone once in a blue moon supposedly during the last 4 weeks that we started hooking up as 4 weeks ago is when he said he DID have feelings and hadn't been with anyone. HE initiates plans with me then doesn't follow through. HE is all over me when he sees me.

 

And now that I am trying to cut him out he thinks that me simply saying hey isn't a friendly enough greeting since we aren't strangers to the point of him approaching me in a group to "talk for a second" about it.

 

This was not me simply catching feelings and being rejected.

 

He spoke those words to reel you in but then keep you at arms length to get what he wants when he wants. He didn’t mean any of it, now he is sleeping with someone else he has moved onto the next best thing.

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LoserAtLove712

Yeah, while also sleeping with me. So my logic is, he has her for sex now, why can't he just let me be? He was lying about everything which is BS as we could've just left it at sex like I wanted months ago. I don't understand why he went through all of that trouble to lie about feelings and make us official just for sex that he was already getting no strings?

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Yeah, while also sleeping with me. So my logic is, he has her for sex now, why can't he just let me be? He was lying about everything which is BS as we could've just left it at sex like I wanted months ago. I don't understand why he went through all of that trouble to lie about feelings and make us official just for sex that he was already getting no strings?

 

He wanted the security of you being there, which is why he told you this nonsense. He is playing the same game with this girl and will want to keep you around as a backup.

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Yeah, while also sleeping with me. So my logic is, he has her for sex now, why can't he just let me be? He was lying about everything which is BS as we could've just left it at sex like I wanted months ago. I don't understand why he went through all of that trouble to lie about feelings and make us official just for sex that he was already getting no strings?

 

What trouble did he really go to, though? He said some words. There was very little action behind those words. Not much effort on his part.

 

This guy is a classic player. Says all the right things to get you in his pocket, and keep you there. You become a sure bet for when he wants. Meanwhile, he's out playing around with other girls too. I would not believe for a moment that his other bed-buddy meet-ups are as infrequent as he claims, nor that she is the only other person he's been hooking up with.

 

Yes, he was a major tool and clearly not honest with you. But, let this be a lesson in paying more attention to someone's actions over their words. "Booty calls" and drunken ramblings and loose plans that never really happen are meaningless.

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my logic is, he has her for sex now, why can't he just let me be?

Well, what do you think his logic is?

 

"Sex with 1 woman good, sex with 2 women better!"

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