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midnightcircle

hi can i have some advice i was dating someone but he ghosted me last year and came back to me at christmas

 

i think hes doing it again im not sure hes not contacted for a week now

 

ive not text him either thinking im not going chase him and was hoping i would hear off him

 

whats he playing at what shall i do, i asked if its over he said no i need be patient with him

 

is he playing games with me

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Of course he is playing games with you. He doesn’t care about you and he can use you whenever he wants.

 

Block him and find someone that appreciates you.

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Yes, game playing. I learned the hard way. Once someone ghosts without a very good reason, they tend to do it again and again. It's part of their personality, lack of respect for people in general and is just someone that can't handle dealing with things head on and it's easier to just disappear then make the effort. Generally means you don't matter to them.

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midnightcircle

ok i understand but what do you thinks hes thinking when i have not chased him and asked why has he not contacted me

 

and yes he does this than keeps coming back but last time i was texting him asking why hes done this what have i done etc

 

but this time i cant be bothered to chase him

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ok i understand but what do you thinks hes thinking when i have not chased him and asked why has he not contacted me

 

and yes he does this than keeps coming back but last time i was texting him asking why hes done this what have i done etc

 

but this time i cant be bothered to chase him

 

He’s with someone else.

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midnightcircle

what makes you think that ive told him and gave him option for us to go our seperate ways but he tells me no he dont want that

 

do you think he come running back again

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what makes you think that ive told him and gave him option for us to go our seperate ways but he tells me no he dont want that

 

do you think he come running back again

 

He doesn’t want that because you’re easy and naive. He can be with whoever and do whatever he wants and he knows he can check in with you and get what he wants.

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Well, he still sees you as a potential option, but he doesn't think you are a number one. He knows from your past actions that you allow the ghosting. That's set in his mind. If you don't chase and ignore he will probably go away or he may test you again. He may just like the fact that you allow this to go on but when you stop he's gone. Again, what does he think? He thinks you are not a priority or else he would not do what he does. You are an option and only because you allow. His actions, not his words, tell you what he thinks of you. You're in a game right now, one you only win by blocking him and moving on.

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do you think he come running back again

 

Of course. You've taught him that you'll accept him coming in and out of your life so he'll keep doing it. You're an option. He's not going to give that up.

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When he contacts you again ignore him, do not reply. You don;t want this guy in your life, he'll mess you up.

 

Ghosting hurts we want answers and it bruises our ego, ignoring him will drive him nuts and leave you in peace so you can forget him.

 

You don;t want this kind of guy in your life, he's a disrespectful selfish coward.

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thankyou

 

am i doing right thing to not make contact with him untill he contacts me if he will

 

1. Do not contact him.

 

2. Remain No Contact indefinitely.

 

Nothing is changing with this guy. You've taught him that you accept disrespect. Allow him back into your life again and he'll keep doing it.

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midnightcircle

its hard not too but i will be strong

 

its just making me question what did i do wrong no arguments no fall out was great last time we spoke

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its hard not too but i will be strong

 

its just making me question what did i do wrong no arguments no fall out was great last time we spoke

 

...and then he went quiet on you again. Actions over words. You could have done nothing wrong, he just might not be that into you or about a gazillion other things.

 

It is hard, and I still fail from time to time, and every time I fail I get hurt more always. NC is the best and only option unless you want him to have zero respect for you.

 

He's not worth it, move on.

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midnightcircle

thanks im trying to i dont know why he does it than comes back

 

he text me last saturday 22nd october and all was great and wished he was here with me etc and cares alot about me

 

than here nothing since than confusing

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I was ghosted three times over the course of 18 months by the same gf. It sucked every time.

 

I agree with the above posters, and wish I had this advice when I was experiencing my debacle.

 

People ghost because:

 

1. They can't communicate properly.

2. They are too cowardly to face you and own up.

 

Whatever other bs they give you is just that.

 

Either way, their insecurities end up hurting you. It's indicative of monstrous issues.

 

Back then I wasn't strong enough to ignore the enormous red flags. Now I am.

 

Please learn from my mistakes. The more you permit this behavior, the more it will hurt.

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