shastaa Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 (edited) Ex (dumper) : i gotta go, but i don't wanna put down the phone/call, i really don't. i am scared. i am so scared that this will be the last time i hear your voice.* Me : please let me go, you broke my heart, i would have never done that to you, please let me forget you.* *crying our souls out over the phone bec LDR He broke up with me because he wanted freedom to date other people. The memory keeps on replaying in my head. I felt like a placeholder. There was nothing i can do but just to let go. I had no other choice. Edited October 26, 2017 by shastaa 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 That's rough shasta Mine: Me, the dumpee, during the goodbye talk: "I really cherish the time we spent together. I thought our connection was unique. I wish you all the best." Him, the dumper : "We never had any connection". Hu... Okay. It's over. I accept it. I'm not going to argue with you about us. Pointless. You don't need to convince me this won't work out, Mr. Avoidant. Buh-bye. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shastaa Posted October 26, 2017 Author Share Posted October 26, 2017 Hi Kamille, your ex is kinda soulless. I would have rather that way tho. It would have been a lot easier to forget him. I hope you're healed from it. Why do we try so hard for people who don't even try for us? Link to post Share on other sites
1966Seahorse Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 Well .... as my ex-husband never actually told me he was leaving me (he just cleared the house out by the time I had come home from work) .... difficult one to say. A note from him was pushed through the door in the dead of night a few days later that said " blah blah blah - and put the house on the market, I will pay half the mortgage until it is sold blah blah blah..." So I put the house on the market .... explained to the bank what was happening ... only to be told 6 months later by the bank that "we cannot keep only receiving half the mortgage payments forever ... ". Well, this was obviously news to me .... then the next thing, the bank repossess my house and take the keys off me. So the thing that stands out for me is and put the house on the market, I will pay half the mortgage until it is sold .... as it was a blatant lie - along with all the other lies that occurred. Hey ho ... happy days!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author shastaa Posted October 26, 2017 Author Share Posted October 26, 2017 Hey 1966Seahorse, that's awful. I hope he got whats his after all that. I am glad I joined this forum, few weeks ago I was swamped with sadness, it takes my mind off the heartache and a place where I can put my thoughts where people can give real advice and actually understand how you feel. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 Hi Kamille, your ex is kinda soulless. I would have rather that way tho. It would have been a lot easier to forget him. I hope you're healed from it. Why do we try so hard for people who don't even try for us? Yes he did make it easy to let go, although I spent some time ruminating about whether or not I had imagined the whole thing. I hadn't. But yes, I agree, it's harder to forget someone who doesn't want to let go. Yes I am healed from it. You? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 Well .... as my ex-husband never actually told me he was leaving me (he just cleared the house out by the time I had come home from work) .... difficult one to say. A note from him was pushed through the door in the dead of night a few days later that said " blah blah blah - and put the house on the market, I will pay half the mortgage until it is sold blah blah blah..." So I put the house on the market .... explained to the bank what was happening ... only to be told 6 months later by the bank that "we cannot keep only receiving half the mortgage payments forever ... ". Well, this was obviously news to me .... then the next thing, the bank repossess my house and take the keys off me. So the thing that stands out for me is and put the house on the market, I will pay half the mortgage until it is sold .... as it was a blatant lie - along with all the other lies that occurred. Hey ho ... happy days!! Like Seahorse, I hope you took him to task for missing out on his half of the payments. What a horrible way to end a marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shastaa Posted October 26, 2017 Author Share Posted October 26, 2017 Yes he did make it easy to let go, although I spent some time ruminating about whether or not I had imagined the whole thing. I hadn't. But yes, I agree, it's harder to forget someone who doesn't want to let go. Yes I am healed from it. You? I think I still got a long way to go. Sometimes I'm okay while sometimes not really, it's nuts how little things reminds me of him through words in a sentences, places etc. It's gut wrenching. It's just over a month and was a 1.5y R. I wish he would've been just bastard honest during BU instead of giving me wishy washy reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
1966Seahorse Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 Hey 1966Seahorse, that's awful. I hope he got whats his after all that. I am glad I joined this forum, few weeks ago I was swamped with sadness, it takes my mind off the heartache and a place where I can put my thoughts where people can give real advice and actually understand how you feel. Yes, shastaa, it was awful ... it was not a good time of my life. And, no, he never got his comeuppance as I never directly heard from him ever again - he was too much of a coward to face up to all the terrible things he had done. However, I am glad you are finding some solace on LS - I hope you continue to do so!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
1966Seahorse Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 Like Seahorse, I hope you took him to task for missing out on his half of the payments. What a horrible way to end a marriage. Yes, Kamille, it was a seriously not good time in my life ... and as you have probably already read in my post to OP ... I couldn't take him to task as I never heard from him again - he disappeared. I wish you well, Kamille Link to post Share on other sites
Author shastaa Posted October 26, 2017 Author Share Posted October 26, 2017 Yes, shastaa, it was awful ... it was not a good time of my life. And, no, he never got his comeuppance as I never directly heard from him ever again - he was too much of a coward to face up to all the terrible things he had done. However, I am glad you are finding some solace on LS - I hope you continue to do so!! I am sorry, I don't know what to say. It must've been really hard for you during those tines. I hope you're doing good now and in a better place after all those things. Link to post Share on other sites
1966Seahorse Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 I am sorry, I don't know what to say. It must've been really hard for you during those tines. I hope you're doing good now and in a better place after all those things. Hey ... don't worry about me ... this is YOUR thread!! But ... thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Author shastaa Posted October 26, 2017 Author Share Posted October 26, 2017 Hey ... don't worry about me ... this is YOUR thread!! But ... thank you Hey, it's okay. I guess people with problems feels good when they are able to lend a hand to other people who's got problems too. We will be okay. ❤️ Knowing what it feels to be in pain, is exactly why we try to be kind to others, isn't it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
1966Seahorse Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 Hey, it's okay. I guess people with problems feels good when they are able to lend a hand to other people who's got problems too. We will be okay. ❤️ Knowing what it feels to be in pain, is exactly why we try to be kind to others, isn't it? Very true! Plus, I do believe that to become stronger in life you do have to have some setbacks I am probably going off thread here!! Link to post Share on other sites
Darkchan Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 It made me sad to see what other poeple has replyed in this thread. I'm so sorry for you guys having to go through and hear stuff like that. Some people are just horrible. This is what my ex said which I also wrote in my thread as I'm in 9 days NC and struggling but he said: "We need to talk" *moments of silence* "I'm unhappy being with you, I have lost feeling for you a couple of month back. I'm Sorry (my name)." *moments of silence again* "I'm afraid of loosing you. I'm sorry" *he runs to grab his bag and walks out. I didn't say anything, I didn't know what to say nor did I get the chance to gather my thoughts. I moved the day after, he never showed up nor contacted me since. We were toghter for 3 years and lived togheter for 2. I have no idea what he meant with the last part either and probably will never find out. Link to post Share on other sites
1966Seahorse Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 It made me sad to see what other poeple has replyed in this thread. I'm so sorry for you guys having to go through and hear stuff like that. Some people are just horrible. This is what my ex said which I also wrote in my thread as I'm in 9 days NC and struggling but he said: "We need to talk" *moments of silence* "I'm unhappy being with you, I have lost feeling for you a couple of month back. I'm Sorry (my name)." *moments of silence again* "I'm afraid of loosing you. I'm sorry" *he runs to grab his bag and walks out. I didn't say anything, I didn't know what to say nor did I get the chance to gather my thoughts. I moved the day after, he never showed up nor contacted me since. We were toghter for 3 years and lived togheter for 2. I have no idea what he meant with the last part either and probably will never find out. There certainly are some horrible people out there The only "positive", if you can call it that, is that you did get kind of a reason - he admitted he had lost the feelings he had for you - but this doesn't make things any easier - I appreciate that. I had been with my husband 11 years, married for 7. Thank God we never had children. You are doing well being on day 9 of no contact - I know it is excruciatingly hard but keep going!! I wish you all the very best! Link to post Share on other sites
Trip2TheSky Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 "I would have been yours, if you didn't try to make me yours." Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 "I would have been yours, if you didn't try to make me yours." What fresh hell is this? That's a horrible and self-aggrandizing thing to say. You're better off Trip2! Link to post Share on other sites
hcedrick Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 When she said "I will never be the mother of your kids." at the end of our 5 years relationship. I knew it was the end. Link to post Share on other sites
Alamo657 Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 Hearing the person who said I love you, travelled with you, laughed with you, who you had deep personal talks with, with whom you shared 2 hobby, say to you "we share nothing together, why should we stay together?" I accept the fact people grow appart, but negating past complicity to justify the present lack off is very cruel to hear. Like all the happynness we did share wasn't even worth remembering? They say those hurtful things to chase us away and be free to go with the "new"person Link to post Share on other sites
CeciliaCylara Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 (edited) "I can't give you what you need. I have so much negativity in me and I keep lashing out at you. I hate myself for it. It's like I can't stop myself from acting so selfish. I don't want to be the guy who takes out his frustration on his woman. I'd rather die than let that happen when you were the person who least deserved it. I need figure what's wrong with me. I wouldn't be pushing you away or neglecting you if there wasn't something wrong. My family's a mess and my life's a mess as I can barely find work while living in a room as a tenant. You deserve so much better and I can't give it you. I won't be able to for a long time." Wow, I can feel my heart break a little again... We were together for 2.5 years... and then I lost him to depression. Depression can break any bond, no matter how strong. Edited October 26, 2017 by CeciliaCylara Link to post Share on other sites
HiCrunchy Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 "Be good to yourself" I have always had bad self esteem. I never forgot it, ever. Link to post Share on other sites
CeciliaCylara Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 The messed up thing is we stayed in contact for another year in limboland, but when I finally put my foot down over his cowardice and indecisiveness about salvaging our relationship by cutting contact, he got a new girlfriend in just a few weeks. "Not ready for a relationship" my *ss. I hope he enjoys dating the new girl who's just as messed up in the head as he is (she's bipolar). What a train wreck he got himself into. Link to post Share on other sites
Trust666 Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 Dumper (her): I have to break up with you as I have a legal issue with my adderall prescription and you might get in trouble if I tell you what happened. Dumpee (me): so what is this legal problems name? Her: **** you, thanks for assuming I would be that selfish or heartless to leave you for another guy. Days later I found out the legal problem's name was Chad. Funny how that works, apparently she was selfish and heartless. She also apparently wanted me to worry she was actually in trouble, which is just messed up. After I confront her..... Her: we can reconnect in better times Me: go **** yourself and don't ever speak to me again. We were friends for 25 years. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Trust666 Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 Same girl, while breaking up with me Her: you're my white whale, I have been chasing you for over 20 years. me: um you had me so how am I a white whale Her: I guess you're right, I was just trying to let you down easy me: this is actually making things worse, go enjoy your new boyfriend Her: there is no other guy there was another guy. And he was very overweight and pasty white...literally left me for a white whale. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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