LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Breaking Up, Reconciliation & Coping > Breaks and Breaking Up

Breaking free from nasty psycho girlfriend


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

Like Tree138Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 29th October 2017, 11:49 AM   #76
Established Member
 
Buriall's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 228
That's alright bud don't beat yourself up over it. Now you know what to do exactly, (I hope) leave her where she belongs in the past.

Also tell your fam to cut contact with her as well. Real work begins now, wish you all the best.
__________________
Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone.
Buriall is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 11:54 AM   #77
Established Member
 
elaine567's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 14,174
Quote:
Originally Posted by HumanMachine View Post

I left her last night on good terms, stupidly hoping we could get over this extremely small issue. We messaged back and forth this morning with her being extremely cold, she then blocked me..
What is the "extremely small issue" that is obviously a deal breaker for her?
elaine567 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 11:57 AM   #78
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: NYC
Posts: 64
What was the issue you couldn't agree on? Sounds like you both were very open and talking and having a good time. So why did you decide it won't work? And which one of you decided that? Sounds like you did and she got mad and blocked you. I didn't get the whole story.

I mean if both parties want IN and agree to talk, air things out, and work on things together then that is a good thing. That is how your post stated but then you decided not to move forward and broke up after your nice day together. why?
JimmyNYC is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 12:08 PM   #79
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 944
Every relationship is unique. I don't recall the nature of yours, and I am not going to go through 270 posts to try to find out how and why it ended.

I am not sure why you feel you "deserve harsh replies." It does seem that many on this board like to chastise other people for either breaking no contact, or not adhering to their own stringent interpretations of it. We are all human, and we all make mistakes.

That being said, it's not as if you searched her out - she was reaching out to you and the two of you decided to get together which culminated in a good time and sex. Now she's decided to go back to not wanting to talk to you again which in all likelihood means you were a booty call at worst, at best she was thinking she may want you back permanently but had second thoughts.

As a man, I wouldn't feel too devastated about it. I'd just not ever initiate contact again. If she contacts you again it's up to you to set the boundaries and stick to them like glue. Only you can decide if you're ok with the friends with benefits thing. Some men are not strong enough to have a woman they love turn into an FWB. That's a decision only you can make.
Highndry is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 12:10 PM   #80
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 827
Thank you guys. The most frustrating thing about this whole scenario is that I was actually starting to feel better and enjoy my own company before she contacted me.

The extremely small issue..

She wanted to be able to go out with male friends. Now that would be fine if she had any - she doesn’t. When I quizzed her on this she replied “well if one of my old friends popped up and asked to go for a drink, i’d like to be able to say yes without you getting upset”. I was astonished by her comments, we have never had this issue when we were together. Obviously she has found somebody else and wanted to keep both of us as options until she decided. I asked her if losing me was worth the rare chance of one of your old friends popping up and asking you out for a drink? She replied I refuse to choose between you and my friends.

There is clearly something she’s not telling me so maybe not an extremely small issue..!

Actually typing and re reading this has definitely opened my eyes..
HumanMachine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 12:22 PM   #81
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 85
Don't beat yourself to hard about it
I would have done the same, if my ex contaced me. At last in my current state were I miss him soooo much, more everyday and the urge to contact him grows stronger. So even if I know that it would be super bad idea, it's hard to resist.

Just to give a girls perspective for having male friends. I have two female friends, the rest is male. My ex tended to be jealous even though himself had a lot of female friends. It is hard to trust one another when it comes to having friends of the opposite sex. I have always had more male friends than female ones, most likely becasue there are almost no females in my choice of work.

In your ex case, not having any male friends and then suddenly having some, might seem a little suspisous. I don't know her so it might be what you suspect but it could also be that they are just friends.
Darkchan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 1:36 PM   #82
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 827
Quote:
Originally Posted by Darkchan View Post
Don't beat yourself to hard about it
I would have done the same, if my ex contaced me. At last in my current state were I miss him soooo much, more everyday and the urge to contact him grows stronger. So even if I know that it would be super bad idea, it's hard to resist.

Just to give a girls perspective for having male friends. I have two female friends, the rest is male. My ex tended to be jealous even though himself had a lot of female friends. It is hard to trust one another when it comes to having friends of the opposite sex. I have always had more male friends than female ones, most likely becasue there are almost no females in my choice of work.

In your ex case, not having any male friends and then suddenly having some, might seem a little suspisous. I don't know her so it might be what you suspect but it could also be that they are just friends.
Maybe I overreacted then? She mentioned old friends before our rship..
HumanMachine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 1:47 PM   #83
Established Member
 
BC1980's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Southern USA
Posts: 7,623
I've become a believer in the helpfulness of learning a lesson the hard way once in awhile. Touching the fire and getting burnt can serve as a tremendous teacher as long as you don't continue to do it over and over. Unless you are one of the few who can go NC without looking back, experience can be a useful teacher. It sucks what happened, but, if you can use it to strengthen your resolve to stay NC, it won't be in vain. You can learn a valuable lesson.
BC1980 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 1:49 PM   #84
Established Member
 
Marc878's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,737
Quote:
Originally Posted by HumanMachine View Post
Thank you guys. The most frustrating thing about this whole scenario is that I was actually starting to feel better and enjoy my own company before she contacted me.

You and you alone are resonsibke for NC. Block her

The extremely small issue..

She wanted to be able to go out with male friends. Now that would be fine if she had any - she doesn’t. When I quizzed her on this she replied “well if one of my old friends popped up and asked to go for a drink, i’d like to be able to say yes without you getting upset”. I was astonished by her comments, we have never had this issue when we were together. Obviously she has found somebody else and wanted to keep both of us as options until she decided. I asked her if losing me was worth the rare chance of one of your old friends popping up and asking you out for a drink? She replied I refuse to choose between you and my friends.

You are correct. She wants an open relationship for her benefit not yours.

There is clearly something she’s not telling me so maybe not an extremely small issue..!

Yep, bank on it

Actually typing and re reading this has definitely opened my eyes..
You leave yourself open for breadcrumbs and the bite when she sends one your way. I think you're better than this.
Marc878 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 4:51 PM   #85
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 827
Thank you guys I really appreciate your comments. I’ve blocked her again however my mother wasn’t keen on doing so. I’m unsure why not, she does not like my ex at all.
HumanMachine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 5:14 PM   #86
Established Member
 
Blanco's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 2,645
Quote:
Originally Posted by HumanMachine View Post
I’ve blocked her again however my mother wasn’t keen on doing so. I’m unsure why not, she does not like my ex at all.
Maybe she thrives on drama. Otherwise, those sentences are in contradiction to each other.
Blanco is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 5:58 PM   #87
Established Member
 
elaine567's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 14,174
Quote:
Originally Posted by HumanMachine View Post
I’ve blocked her again however my mother wasn’t keen on doing so. I’m unsure why not, she does not like my ex at all.
Maybe she likes her more than she is telling you.
elaine567 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29th October 2017, 8:10 PM   #88
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 102
Sorry to hear about all this. We make mistakes and as mentioned above sometimes we do have to touch the fire.

My ex is dangerous to me, so in order to get over her I had to do NC and also burn every bridge possible. She was a good friend for 25 years, we dated in college then lived our lives. I trusted her with my life and she seemed so into me. In the end she betrayed me for another guy and in the end I went NC but let her know to never ever contact me again. Our chapter though 25 years long is done, forever.

Sometimes you have to burn those bridges.
Trust666 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30th October 2017, 12:38 AM   #89
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 827
Quote:
Originally Posted by elaine567 View Post
Maybe she likes her more than she is telling you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blanco View Post
Maybe she thrives on drama. Otherwise, those sentences are in contradiction to each other.
She said if she ever ‘does something’ then she’d like to have the possibility of her admitting to it via text to her. I said I’d rather not achieve a few days NC and then have her pop up again..

Fortunately my mother isn’t very tech savvy so I’m thinking of blocking her whilst she is away from her phone.
HumanMachine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30th October 2017, 12:39 AM   #90
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 827
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trust666 View Post
Sorry to hear about all this. We make mistakes and as mentioned above sometimes we do have to touch the fire.

My ex is dangerous to me, so in order to get over her I had to do NC and also burn every bridge possible. She was a good friend for 25 years, we dated in college then lived our lives. I trusted her with my life and she seemed so into me. In the end she betrayed me for another guy and in the end I went NC but let her know to never ever contact me again. Our chapter though 25 years long is done, forever.

Sometimes you have to burn those bridges.
Thank you. I guess I should be grateful that this painful rollercoaster of emotion lasted only 1 year in total.. feels like 10 though!
HumanMachine is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Am I psycho or right in breaking up with him? roxys Dating 26 10th October 2012 7:35 PM
Damn, I think I just screwed myself over again by breaking the NC rule..ex is psycho ninjacookies Breaks and Breaking Up 4 15th March 2008 3:30 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:56 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.