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Trying to stay strong


Romantic_Antics

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Romantic_Antics

I recently parted ways with my girlfriend of 4 months because she was a compulsive liar and I reached a point where I felt like I was perpetually in a state of doubt and suspicion. I'd lost my ability to trust her and it wasn't going to come back. I tried, but it was just dragging out the inevitable.

 

I made a post about it on here and everybody agreed it was best for me to walk away (or run away).

 

I've spent a lot of time on here since the break up finding comfort, distraction, and enjoyment in giving advice to others (I genuinely enjoy helping people), but tonight I hit a low point. Even though I know that I made the right decision, breaking up still sucks. That was an extremely close 4 months in which we spent a ton of time together. It was one of those cliche "love at first sight" relationships and we were inseparable. So it still hurts, not gonna lie (see what I did there?). Yeah that was bad, I know, but I'm trying to maintain my sense of humor.

 

I knew that posting this would be therapeutic and help me get it off my chest. Plus I'm giving my friends a break from listening to me gripe. So...yeah. There it is. Tomorrow is a new day. Thanks for reading.

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Good on you for posting here for support.

 

Remind yourself that you're missing the idea of her...not the real, lying her.

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Stay strong, Romantic Antics! Sounds like you made the right choice. A compulsive liar is not a good partner.

 

You're not alone... I'm in a similar situation, day 3 of NC with someone of the 'love at first sight' calibre. It is so hard, but we can get through this. One day at a time.

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I've found it to be a little like a line on a 'graph'. Up, up, up, down and bit, steady, up, up, up, down a bit, steady...

 

Posting here when you're on a 'down' will definitely send you into 'steady' quickly. :-) Messaging your ex, snooping on Facebook etc. when you're on a down is going to sink that graph faster than a bungee jump !

 

You did the right thing. Speaking of bungee jumps... This is my idea:

 

ATTENTION EVERYONE...

 

WE HERE AT LOVESHACK ARE HOLDING A BUNGEE JUMP THIS SATURDAY.

WE'RE RAISING MONEY FOR CHARITY.

YOU MUST BE OVER 18.

FEE IS $10 PER PERSON.

OUR EXES CAN JUMP FOR FREE (NO STRINGS ATTACHED).

 

Keep smiling... :rolleyes::D

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Healing is not linear. You will occasionally have remorseful days. Remembering the good times fondly is no reason to reconcile with a compulsive liar. Yes, it may have been an intense 4 months but when things go south that fast, you have to recognize the relationship was never sustainable. Keep doing what you are doing -- staying strong. Best wishes.

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Romantic_Antics
Good on you for posting here for support.

 

Remind yourself that you're missing the idea of her...not the real, lying her.

 

This right here has been vital in helping me refrain from contacting her. I've honestly only found myself really tempted to contact her a couple of times.

 

The break up was pretty ugly, unfortunately. It's not at all what I wanted or how I envisioned it going down. Heck, I briefly entertained the notion that we could at least remain friends, but then I recognized that it was just me clinging to the idea of her and not wanting to let the idea of her go. After all, how many of you would maintain a friendship with a pathological liar? I have more self respect than that. A friendship with somebody who lies as freely as they draw their next breath is no more healthy than a romantic relationship with one.

 

And that's how I get through it. By focusing on the facts and reminding myself what got me to this point.

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