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Running into Ex and New Boyfriend Now Inevitable -- How to handle?


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So I've written the backstory to this elsewhere, and I hope it is not a violation of forum rules to simply refer to it here, in case anyone wants more detail, but this is a very specific and different question. The long backstory is here:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/634835-try-blindside

 

But the short of it is, I got dumped by a girl for an ex of hers. She played some mind games with me, and I got myself into no contact pretty quickly, if painfully. All of that. The one saving grace was that she lived across the country and her ex was going to fly out there to go be with her. So . . . you know, that would have made maintaining no contact much simpler. It still sucked, mind you, but I was adjusting.

 

Just a few days ago though I learn that they switched up their plans, and now she is moving back to my area to live with him. I live in a small town. Our social circles intersect. There is NO WAY I will be able to avoid running into them out and about for long.

 

A couple weeks before she moved back she sent me one of those odd "thinking of you and missing you" breadcrumbs you sometimes get. I did not reply. I suspect she got the message. Mind you, I WANTED to reply. I WANTED to believe she had come to her senses. Now though I see it as maybe a play to open a conversation about her coming back here.

 

Maybe not. Who can know?

 

However, what now?

 

I can see a few possibilities:

 

1) Maintain no contact and just wait for the inevitable run-in. I haven't gone out to my usual places these last few days to avoid just this. I feel like because there was "confusion" between he and I during our breakup, she may just want to demonstrate to him that she is with him and over me if we happen to run into each other publicly. This, despite the fact that is has now been over a month since this all went down, will crush me. I was barely ready to handle them being 3000 miles away, let alone at a table or dancefloor nearby.

 

2) Initiate some kind of preemptive contact to attempt to at least defuse the situations. Something like, "Hey. I heard you moved back to the area. I'm sure we'll see each other around. I'm still taking space, so don't read too much into anything. We'll be cool with each other someday, I'm sure. Well, either that or we will be awkward around each other forever. You never know, but for the time being, I'm rooting for the first option."

 

3) Wait and see if she initiates contact. This is unlikely, as I suspect she took the no reply to her last breadcrumb as pretty much a slice. But it could happen. It could also go really badly because it is likely to say something like, "Hey. You probably heard I moved back to the area and moved in with x. I am sorry for hurting you and I still care about you, but I thought you should know you will probably see us around."

 

In a way, what I have been doing so far is a combination of 1 an 3, as I am avoiding places I would normally go for fear of an unplanned encounter. But there is only so long I can do that and not feel like I am hiding from my life.

 

This was a sudden breakup, one where I did not know there was an ex reentering the picture until after it had already happened. It was a clean break, but not a good one.

 

I am interested in responses both on how you would handle it, and also, from women, how you would prefer the situation be handled if you were in her position. Silly thing to think about, that one, but I am wondering.

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Hi and bye that's it. Simple as that, sure it might kill you inside however you have to fake it until you make it.

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When you bump into her, just act civil -- a nod or a hello and move on along. No need for further pleasantries.

 

She's likely not even thinking/worried about it because she has little emotional investment in you. You on the other hand will overthink it because you are still emotionally affected.

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How would acknowledge someone who you used to work with five years ago (who you didn't particularly like but would like to remain civil with)? However you would react to that person...is how you should react to your ex. It will cut like a knife (or you might be surprised and it's not so bad).

 

Nod, and give a 'life is freekin awesome' smile. That song lyric "Now you're just somebody that I used to know..." is how you want to play it.

 

Best of luck. :-)

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I wouldn't say anything or acknowledge her in any way. She comes up to say hi I'd wouldn't say a thing.

I think she likes attention and reading your past post I'm almost certain that when her and her ex hit a bump on the road-which they WILL- if you had been civil with her then she will get it in her head that she can approach you.

Indifferent is what you have to learn. You have to not care if you run into her or not.

I think when two people realize something isn't going to work its OK to be civil. But when people do shady things then they don't deserve anything or get anything from me.

My ex gets all nervous when she runs into me because she acted shady when she was with me. It would get on my nerves at first because people noticed it but after awhile I stopped caring- became indifferent to it. I figured she feels nervous because of her past behaviour when she was with me but that isn't my problem.

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That's an interesting perspective, Been.

 

Indifference is what I am after, but I wonder, can you really learn it. Or just it just have to come on its own. I am certainly trying to get there. Writing in here helps, because it has prevented me on every occasion I wanted to get in touch from doing so.

 

It also helped me not respond to that text.

 

This thing about attention, you may be right about that too. I had the wool pulled completely over my eyes if that is true, which it probably is.

 

She managed to put a few extra hooks in me when we were breaking up by

 

1) saying she regretted sleeping with her ex and then spending the week playing us off each other, without letting me know, and spending her nights in my bed.

 

2) sleeping with me the morning of the breakup.

 

3) saying over "I'm in love with both of you," during the breakup conversation.

 

a handful of things like that. For the life of me, I cannot figure out what purpose those things were supposed to serve.

 

But so you are saying do nothing. Vain as it sounds, I still don't want her to know how badly she got to me. I have no doubt, as someone else mentioned, she is not giving this much thought at all. The notion that she will be able to see me looking down or nervous or anything at all other than fine burns me.

 

I briefly considered rebounding myself, finding someone to go out and about with and look like I was having a good time, but then I realized the idea made me want to puke. For good or ill, I am just going to have to make it through this alone. I'm not putting someone else through hell just to spite her.

 

In the time since I started writing about this, I have gotten a bit stronger. I still think about it way too much (obviously), but I am less and less inclined to slip back into feelings of wanting her back. In fact, I see now pretty clearly that there is no way for that to happen. She burned down the only bridge there could have been to either reconciliation or friendship, trust.

 

There is a way in which this is the final hurdle to clear. I just want to get past it clean.

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Went through the same thing as you. My ex wasn't on love with me or her ex- she was in love with receiving ATTENTION from the both of us.

She would jump back and forth between us.

Also realize that she has shown you the ability to lie to your face without hesitation- she can be in your bed telling you how much she is in love with you and the next day be in her ex's bed telling him the exact same thing. So ask yourself this: what would change if you took her back? She all the sudden gonna be truthful OR hide things from you a lot better then before?

People like your ex justify everything they do- they are never wrong,its never their fault and worse they lie.

Indifference will come over time. Out of sight out of mind.

But you have to stand your ground. Any contact with her started by you pretty much wipes out anything you did.

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Also realize that she has shown you the ability to lie to your face without hesitation- she can be in your bed telling you how much she is in love with you and the next day be in her ex's bed telling him the exact same thing. So ask yourself this: what would change if you took her back? .

 

Ha!

 

Just for the record, I wouldn't be surprised if weren't even the next day. The one thing that did do for me is blow the whole trust thing up so completely that I've never really been able to see a way back.

 

And the thing about what you are saying is, because she "lied" so convincingly that morning with me, to the point where I was on cloud nine when she left the apartment, I could never believe her, even if she HAD genuinely changed.

 

You can't resurrect broken trust like that. So at least I have that going for me. I know my goal is to forget her.

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The first time you see them is the worst but it gets a lot better after that. I wouldn't bother contacting them in advance of bumping into each other. It will make you feel worse and isn't necessary to let them know what you are up to.

 

I live in a small town and I dated this guy four years ago who worked in my gym and would sometimes drink in bars I also drank in. I was worried about running into him but I just bit the bullet and decided that I wasn't going to let my routine be dictated by someone who had opted out of my life. In the end I did bump into him and it was just 'hi' because he said 'hi' to me and then I went back to sit with my friends.

 

The next time was awkward but I was surprised how well I handled it. I said hello to him but he started saying more to me and I just walked away and said "I don't want to talk to you". He followed me so I escaped to the toilets of this pub I was in. Again even though that disturbed me, I still got through it. You can do it too!

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Ha!

 

Just for the record, I wouldn't be surprised if weren't even the next day. The one thing that did do for me is blow the whole trust thing up so completely that I've never really been able to see a way back.

 

And the thing about what you are saying is, because she "lied" so convincingly that morning with me, to the point where I was on cloud nine when she left the apartment, I could never believe her, even if she HAD genuinely changed.

 

You can't resurrect broken trust like that. So at least I have that going for me. I know my goal is to forget her.

 

Aww I'm like you. I struggle to let go after break-ups because I am loyal and dedicated and I just try my best to make things work so I can't think 'What if?' about it. It makes it hard to let go because you wonder if things could have been different. I think for people like us, we need to see that we are good caring people but unfortunately not everyone is going to be like us. It can be really easy to get lost in your thoughts when in fact the other person is just not caring in the same way you are.

 

I agree with the comment above - "out of sight; out of mind". You will get over her. It's only a matter of time. Plus you will feel better for not falling for any more BS from her side. Just be careful.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Well, this is embarrassing. The inevitable happened, I ran into her. Thankfully, not with her new guy, but it was a test of sorts. I don't think I handled it all that great. I was at a disadvantage to begin with, because it had been a long, long, day and I was tired and had been out drinking with friends for a while. We were at an outside bar. I was with a small group, a couple of other guys and a handful of girls. One of the girls came up to me and said, "Hey. I just thought you should know, so and so is here."

 

This would have been a good time to leave.

 

I almost did. But then I thought, "No. I'm not running away." I knew she would be there without her guy, because he is in a band that was playing out of town. So anyway, I decide to stick around and before I know it, I look up and there she is, standing directly across from me. We make eye contact and I wave and say hi. She does the same. This could have been in, but -- and I kind of want to smack myself for this -- I make a small gesture with my arms that indicates its okay to approach for a hug. This happens.

 

Everything from there on out is a blur. We talked. I know it was mostly small talk and went "well," but for the life of me I can't remember the conversation. I think it was a mixture of nervousness and drinking. I knew I was not at my best, but I could also see she had been drinking a bit, and somehow or another the conversation must have ended, and I left the bar and went home before another one could happen.

 

When I woke up the next day I saw a couple texts on my phone that came in right around last call. One just said my name, but the diminutive form, what she used to call me. The other just said "u disappeared?"

 

For what it's worth, I chose not to respond to these, and it makes me feel a little weird. The thing is hugging her, and talking like that, I'm sure made her feel like I was cool with everything. I'm not. I'm sure we didn't talk about anything particularly serious or her new guy or I would remember that.

 

But it is bugging me. I still actually really want space. I'm not ready to be friends, and I certainly don't want to have a repeat performance when and if I run into her and her guy.

 

There's not way she texted me afterwards if I didn't make her feel comfortable. I'm not sure that's what I would have preferred to do. Main takeaway here is: Don't drink like that in situations where I can run into her.

 

Honestly, I can't believe I hugged her. She has this power over me and I can't seem to shake it.

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Imagine for a moment that you are her boyfriend, and she's texting and calling her ex after running into him, telling him she misses him, etc. How would you feel? She's doing him dirty, too. Don't ever give her needy ego a boost again. Ignore, and if she continues, tell her to lose your number, that you're over her.

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Yeah. That's what pisses me off. That I gave her what she wanted, that boost. It drives me nuts. It was like I was on automatic pilot or something. There's the part of me that wants to let her know it was a mistake, and that we shouldn't be talking like that. But I kinda think its too late for that now and that would make me look crazy. Just going to try to put it in the past and forget it, but man, I thought I would have handled it better. She got what she needed.

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Just send a text “sorry was really drunk last and don’t remember much. No worries though there will not be a repeat of what I do remember. Have a good life.”

 

This puts thing back into perspective

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Just send a text “sorry was really drunk last and don’t remember much. No worries though there will not be a repeat of what I do remember. Have a good life.”

 

This puts thing back into perspective

 

This is a possibility, but the night in question is already several days ago, Friday night. So, not sure that would make sense. Maybe it would. Curious on anyone's opinion.

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This is a possibility, but the night in question is already several days ago, Friday night. So, not sure that would make sense. Maybe it would. Curious on anyone's opinion.

 

I think it's a really poor idea. Simply never contacting her again and moving on with your life is the only healthy thing at this point. Any sort of petty little barbs or quips here and there make you look weak. Just be strong and move on.

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I am in a very similar situation. I would pretend to be indifferent even if it is pretending. I was fortunate enough when I got blindsided for another man to let her know she should never contact me again, ever.

 

This made it less awkward, she avoids me rather than me avoiding her. Shady folks, with significant others want to make sure their new relationship is not damaged by certain truths you or I could speak of that might scare the new dude.

 

People who do what this woman did to you deserve nothing but the bed they chose to lie in.

 

You have more power than you think in this situation, it will take time and it will take willpower but you know you were not the shady gameplaying one, she was.

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I am in a very similar situation. I would pretend to be indifferent even if it is pretending. I was fortunate enough when I got blindsided for another man to let her know she should never contact me again, ever.

 

This made it less awkward, she avoids me rather than me avoiding her. Shady folks, with significant others want to make sure their new relationship is not damaged by certain truths you or I could speak of that might scare the new dude.

 

People who do what this woman did to you deserve nothing but the bed they chose to lie in.

 

You have more power than you think in this situation, it will take time and it will take willpower but you know you were not the shady gameplaying one, she was.

 

This is my reasoning for the text.

 

To make a clean break with her so she is not coming up to him the next time she sees Jack in public. Put the text how you like it. Just make sure it leaves no doubt that you have no desire for any future contact. Don’t leave it to be interpreted in any other fashion or she will approach you again. There is nothing wrong with making a clear statement that everything is at a end.

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I like what you say, I was a bit mean and burnt the bridge forever. I don't take kindly to dishonesty especially from a woman I've known for over 2 decades who is so upset her second marriage also ended in infidelity. It's one thing to hurt folks and another to know what it feels like and do it anyway.

 

I was a total dick to her....which shocked her lol. I had never even raised my voice to her in all that time. But I sent her texts right after she did the deed and I found out there was another guy and she called me "irate".

 

I will never hear from her again or run into her, she got the point. I felt badly afterward for a bit and still have pangs, but if someone hurt you and can continue to do so all you can do is control the situation and protect yourself.

 

No threats, no name calling, just blunt and angry. Problem of NC solved lol.

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I like what you say, I was a bit mean and burnt the bridge forever. I don't take kindly to dishonesty especially from a woman I've known for over 2 decades who is so upset her second marriage also ended in infidelity. It's one thing to hurt folks and another to know what it feels like and do it anyway.

 

I was a total dick to her....which shocked her lol. I had never even raised my voice to her in all that time. But I sent her texts right after she did the deed and I found out there was another guy and she called me "irate".

 

I will never hear from her again or run into her, she got the point. I felt badly afterward for a bit and still have pangs, but if someone hurt you and can continue to do so all you can do is control the situation and protect yourself.

 

No threats, no name calling, just blunt and angry. Problem of NC solved lol.

 

While I have been tempted, I don't believe in losing my cool and "telling a woman off." I had good reason to a few times, but I feel like it just casts me in a poor light.

 

Another reason why is this:

 

Once a woman devalues a man and dumps him for somebody else, there's absolutely no way for him to ever go back into a relationship with her and be respected. She would always look at him as weak and feel she had control and that he would always be there no matter what because of his weakness. HOWEVER, there's a way for a man to turn the tables in this scenario. By not having told her off and just kind of ghosting her or whatever, she's left wondering how he feels. When the new relationship fails, because let's face it it's going to with those kind of women, she'll likely seek comfort from a past partner. She'll hit up the ones who respected her and didn't go nuclear. This is when the phone rings and she's lonely. If one is so inclined, they can relegate this woman to a friends with benefits relationship. It's easy, and you just enjoy the physical. Then, when your phone rings after a romp session and it's one of the new gals you're chatting up, you can happily tell her you've got a hottie on the hook and you're pressed for time. The tears may flow, but what goes around comes around.

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While I have been tempted, I don't believe in losing my cool and "telling a woman off." I had good reason to a few times, but I feel like it just casts me in a poor light.

 

Another reason why is this:

 

Once a woman devalues a man and dumps him for somebody else, there's absolutely no way for him to ever go back into a relationship with her and be respected. She would always look at him as weak and feel she had control and that he would always be there no matter what because of his weakness. HOWEVER, there's a way for a man to turn the tables in this scenario. By not having told her off and just kind of ghosting her or whatever, she's left wondering how he feels. When the new relationship fails, because let's face it it's going to with those kind of women, she'll likely seek comfort from a past partner. She'll hit up the ones who respected her and didn't go nuclear. This is when the phone rings and she's lonely. If one is so inclined, they can relegate this woman to a friends with benefits relationship. It's easy, and you just enjoy the physical. Then, when your phone rings after a romp session and it's one of the new gals you're chatting up, you can happily tell her you've got a hottie on the hook and you're pressed for time. The tears may flow, but what goes around comes around.

 

I've been that way every time with breakups and in life in general. In this instance, I literally never want to hear from her, see her, or touch her ever again. If she ever calls me it'll set me back and or make me become vulnerable again.

 

I dated this woman 24 years ago, and then most recently for 6 months. We have a very passionate history and we hurt one another. Her dishonesty and betrayal this time around was so hurtful I never want to speak with her ever again....I burnt all bridges, and made a rash decision to distance myself by moving to Denver, lol halfway across the country.

 

This woman who I love(d) so much can never be in my life, too dangerous. I could care less if she respects me in the least.

 

The problem of being nice to her 24 years ago is that she did contact me decades later, and she ****ed me over big time. I had to make sure it would never happen again.

 

In this instance I respect myself, if you left for someone else I respect myself too much to ever have her in my life again. She also did somewhat ghost me in the end, when you know someone 24 years ghosting is despicable on top of the betrayal.

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These are an interesting series of perspectives, and if I am honest with myself I go back and forth with them. There's a part of me that does want to tell her to leave me alone, but that opens up the can of worms of telling her why. Which is because she is fundamentally untrustworthy to me in a way that cannot be salvaged (and trust me, I spend a lot of time thinking of some way to salvage it, because I wanted her back so badly; try as I might, I could not bargain my way back to anything like trust -- this, I think, is why this break up hurts so much. that's never happened to me before).

 

But then there is also a part of me that doesn't want to let her know how badly she got to me. That's the part that is anxious to see her out and about while I am still in pain. It's maybe a little immature, but I want her to wonder. I suspect I'll be over it by the time any sort of phone call rolls around, and I have reason to suspect she and her ex may do just fine (that could be me being anxious and paranoid too, however), but the way I am feeling right now, I am not above doing exactly what you were suggesting, which is to say turning the tables on her a bit.

 

That may never come to pass. And I'm not proud of the thought. But it has occurred to me. I think I mentioned somewhere she left her necklace by the side of my bed the morning we last had sex, which is the same day she got back together with her ex. While I'm on the subject of things I think about but will probably never do, I have to admit, now that they are back in town, I have half a mind to just hand it to him and say, "This is so and so's necklace. She left it by the side of my bed the day you guys got back together."

 

Again, I won't do it. But it's at least satisfying to see it written down.

 

The only reason I would choose to tell her not to approach or contact me would be to let her know that I do not think what she did can be forgotten. I am one of those people who is friends with the vast majority of their exes. Every one of those situations took some work. But this is different. She played me in a way I have never been played. Part of me still wants to let her know she only got off the hook so easy with me when she dumped me because she took me totally by surprise. If I'd had the time to think about what she'd done, I may not have been as friendly.

 

It bothers me that it bothers me.

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There is no good reason not to let her know.

 

The two of you were in a relationship and I am pretty sure you two were talking long term.

 

Then she cheated on you and shattered all of your plans and dreams for the two of you.

 

Get angry, get pissed.

 

Send a text or email what ever. Don’t hide behind false pride. Own how you felt and what she did to you. Be man enough to tell her to stay out of your life that you have no use for someone that can treat another person like she treated you. Yes you hurt the **** out of me but I will survive. If you see me in public stay out of my space. This is what you need to do. You are staying in limbo because you won’t own up to what she did to you. Face it and own it. She treated you like dirt. Why would you want this girl back? Was she that good in bed? Because who she is as a person sucks. Are you still seeing her through rose tinted glasses? If so wake up, she is not who you thought she was.

 

Make a clean break and block her on everything. Stop going back and forth and cut her off clean.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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So, things have been slightly better. It just kind of lightened up a little, though it is still there. She still has an effect on me, and I do my best not to run into her. But, of course, that's kind of impossible where I live, so I'd like to relay a little more information about what has been going on, and hope that some of you guys take it upon yourselves to take a look over the whole sordid yarn and weigh in. Again, I have two motivations: 1) Do what is best for me, and 2) Try to get my head around what the heck she is thinking.

 

A month ago I would have changed the order of those things.

 

So briefly, since I last wrote there was a period of time where we didn't see each other, nor text or any of that. In fact, there is a restaurant that I go to a lot where a friend on the staff texted me a warning one night not to stop by because she was there. I heeded this warning, though it pissed me off, because there are a lot of places she can go in town and she knows for a fact that she is likely to run into me there. Whatever. That was a bummer, but I escaped.

 

For the most part, I have been laying low on the social scene because the possibility of a run-in seemed to outweigh the benefits of going out, at least while I was still deeply depressed over the whole thing.

 

Then one morning, I woke up and it was lighter. It wasn't gone. It was just lighter. I still didn't want to see her, let alone with her new (or former ex) guy, but I decided I was going to start going back out socially. Not dating, just socially.

 

There was a concert in town that I really wanted to see where there was a high likelihood she would be there. I almost skipped it. But a friend who was there texted me saying he didn't see her there and it was really crowded and she'd be easy to avoid. At this point, I had just had enough of circumscribing my actions because of her existence, so I called an Uber and went.

 

About halfway through the concert, I decided to go get a drink and when I did there was someone knocking on the emergency exit door to get let in. I don't work at the place so I kind of ignored it. Someone else opened the door however, and who should walk in but my ex, dressed all in black and looking like a million bucks. She was the freaking bartender. Before I even have a chance to register who it is, she just says, "Hi, Jack." And hugs me. I had sworn I was not going to hug her the next time I saw her, but it happened before I could process what was going on. The she just gets behind the bar and starts working. I see her here and there going about her job, and damn if she doesn't look more beautiful than I remembered.

 

I play it off though, and hang with my friends, and stay through the end of the show. The whole thing sort of upsets me, because of the hug, but on the other hand, despite what I was feeling inside, I know I seemed okay. I stuck around until the end, had a few laughs with my friends, then got the heck out of there.

 

A day passes and I am thinking about going to that same restaurant I mentioned above, the one where she showed up out of nowhere a week ago, but I blow it off and go another place, because I just don't want to risk it.

 

As I am sitting at another place eating, half reading a book and half thinking about how I am letting her dictate too much of what I am doing, I hear the text message tone. It's her.

 

"It was really nice to see you the other night, however fleeting. I wrote something about you recently. Probably my best work. Thank you for existing, you're beautiful. And I think about you everyday. It was real, and I'm grateful for that."

 

This reads to me like a calculated mind****. It does a couple things. The first half plays directly to my unprocessed pain and emotion. Thank you for existing . . . I think about you everyday, etc. And then the second half closes the door again, so that the whole thing does little but make me angry.

 

Now I am curious about how to take that text, but I am going to add some further context. Right after that text came in, I got another text, from another former ex-girlfriend, one with whom I happen to have become great friends (as I said, I am actually friends with most of my exes), just asking if I want to meet for a drink. So considering that I'm a little agitated, I say sure, and agree to meet her and walk over to the other restaurant, the one which I had previously avoided.

 

Just as we are about to sit at the bar, one of the waiters, a friend of mine, comes up to me and says, "I don't have my phone on me, or I would have warned you, but (my ex) is here. She's just in the bathroom."

 

So I head back over to where my friend is about to sit down and say, "Hey, let's get out of here." She understands implicitly and we leave and have our drink elsewhere.

 

So here's the thing about that context. There is no way my ex is going to that restaurant without thinking there is a high probability she will run into me. If she meant to give me space, that is definitely not the way to do it. It also means she sent me that text from there, which is somewhat odd. But which is super duper odd if she was there with her guy. Even if she wasn't, I'm not sure I'd be thrilled she was sending me those kind of messages if I were him.

 

But that's not my business. I'm left trying to process that text. Why did she do it? Should I reply?

 

The part about "It was real, and I'm grateful for that" sounds like her hoping to get some kind of similar response back, something that indicates everything is fine. As far as I am concerned everything is not fine. There remain many things I wish I would have said to her had she not dropped so much on me at once. When she told me she was leaving me for her ex it was all so sudden I could barely think. I have had time to think. When we broke up I mostly just bought her story, because I was in shock and denial. But I'm not anymore. Part of me wants to respond and let her know she should leave me alone. Part of me wants to ignore it. And part of me, the less noble part I'm sure, wants to reply in such a way as to just communicate I'm doing fine.

 

This is a lot, I know, and there is a lot of context to go back and read through for anyone who has not been following along. But I am looking for insight and advice, as that phone is next to me and to text back would be so easy. Like I said in the beginning, I'm still struggling, but it's lightened up. The timing of this is odd.

 

What do you all think, both of her motivations, and what I should do? Thanks for listening.

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