moonglow Posted May 30, 2005 Share Posted May 30, 2005 My bf & I broke up a week ago. I've done the crying etc, but he has refused to see my point on anything. Before the break-up, he met his ex for dinner, whom he dated 14 years ago and has dinner with now and then. She's married. I never had a problem with that, but I did the other night as he wanted to seek her advice about us. As he wanted time to clarify his feeling about me. They were meeting for dinner anyway as it was her b/day. I told him I didn't like him seeking advice from an ex about our r/ship. I asked if he could talk to someone else. He said, she'd know him better than anyone else would. Was I wrong in asking this? We had broken up before our phone conversation Saturday. We talked more about things, as I wanted to. But he continuously found fault in me, heaped all the blame on me and shot down everything I had to say. He was being quite nasty and I didn't deserve it. He is a stubborn, one eyed and inflexible when it comes to opinions. Never tried to see my side on anything. My question here is - is the nastiness a way of dealing with the end, or is it a way of making themselves feel bigger by shooting you down? Or are they just ***holes? Or bullies, or what? Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted May 30, 2005 Share Posted May 30, 2005 Originally posted by moonglow Was I wrong in asking this? First, this question. Why did you have a problem with him discussing the problems you're having in the relationship with someone he dated fourteen years ago and is now currently married? Do you not think that it might be possible that she could give him honest answers about how he is as a person and he not feel immediately defensive because he doesn't care for her the way he might care for you? Do you not think that it might be helpful for him to have someone to talk to in order to process the thoughts he's having instead of keeping them inside and not fully knowing how to deal with them? In my opinion, this was a relationship from fourteen years ago - do you really need to be jealous of that? My question here is - is the nastiness a way of dealing with the end, or is it a way of making themselves feel bigger by shooting you down? Or are they just ***holes? Or bullies, or what? Maybe it's a defensive mechanism? Maybe you're doing the same thing? Hard to tell honestly - not sure how you've conducted yourself so I'm not sure if it was warranted or not. Link to post Share on other sites
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