Ex Unadded Me From Instagram

[westbound]

Was I being immature?

 

A man I spoke with through texts for over a year who I finally met in person broke up with me. We had known each other previously but he moved away, then we started texting, then he moved back.

 

Not sure exact reason but he said we didnt have chemistry and that he'd been feeling this way for a while.

 

Me, I was in a bad place in my life depressed, no job, so while we were dating I was distracted by that. He said he had been feeling this way for a long time but never said anything, even though I went to his bed twice. He just started to kind of avoid me. During the breakup, he said he wanted to be friends and I said sure. He broke it off very coldly though and made me feel like I disgusted him, so I decided I wouldn't text him as much and give him space. I was really heartbroken because I felt I could have handled the situation better if i wasn't depressed. Also, the breakup made me feel weird because wihle we were texting, he seemed really into me, sent me gifts, would tell me he had romantic dreams about me, would ask my friends about me, told me he liked me for years prior to us talking. He laid everything on really thick and then when we met i guess nothing was there. it dropped my self-esteem down because I wasn't what he expected.

 

Eventually he reached out shortly after the breakup and we chatted [we have mutual friends] for a lil on and off but I still kept my distance because I didnt want to annoy him or make him think I needed him back. Soon after this he gets a new girlfriend, osmeone he'd known already, and posts about her a lot and we still talk. But eventually he stops texting me completely. I take the hint, and stop texting him too. On social media, I say happy birthday, make a comment here and there, keep things civil but I don't really like his posts because the fact that he stopped texting me made me think I couldn't anymore. We still have mutual friends, so we aren't completely disconnected. Sometimes my friends would mention him. He likes my posts, but never reached out to me like a 'friend' would.

 

Fast forward about a year later. He texts me out of the blue asking me a question about someone. There as no lead up or "hey, how are you doing?" just the question he needed answered.

 

My heart sunk because this made me feel really low. I actually was not thinking about him and had moved on dating someone else. Instinctually I didn't respond to his text.

 

Now I realize he's unadded me from instagram. He's getting married now. I'm happy for them and I don't want him back. But Im the type of person who feels very deeply for people, even just friends, when i make that connection, so it hurts that it ended this way.

 

Was I being immature or a bitch when I ignored his text? Why did he unadd me from instagram? I was over this situation, and now i am thinking about it again!

Edited October 7, 2017 by westbound

[smackie9]

No you were not....you own him nothing. Hopefully he got the message not to contact you again. IMO he had no place to contact you. He's the one that's being insensitive/immature.

[Beachead]

Hey OP,

 

You were not being immature. If anything he was insensitive. Unfortunately, many relationships we'll have in life will not work out. But keep your spirits up and believe in yourself. If you have supportive family or a good friend or two or a combination of both or even just yourself, that's all you need. You always have the forum to keep you afloat too. Even consider a therapist for that added emotional boost.

 

I been in 3 relationships and all 3 ended with my getting heart broken. I was dumped on whatsapp by one ex after a 10 month relationship. We had to do long distance for 3 months because she was overseas studying medicine. The day before she was supposed to come back home from term 1 was when she ended it with me. I wasn't even worth a phone call or conversation in person.

 

And my most recent ex went back to her ex 3 days after we ended. Made a promise to him to never talk to me again and then cut me out of her life. This was during a time I lost my job and had an extensive surgery which had me bedridden or 2 weeks. She promised to be there but she left.

 

Both of those girls told me they loved me, wanted a future with me, talked about kids and everything. Both situations left me in a world of pain. I am still recovering from the most recent one. Worst part of it is when they message as they please with complete disregard for you. It sets you back.

 

So I'm right there with you in heartbreakville. I know how it feels.

 

I am happy that you are now dating someone else. It sounds like you are healing and moving on, apart from this set back at the moment. Leave it as that and know that he wasn't meant to be in your life. You will have better.

 

Best of luck.

Edited October 7, 2017 by Beachead