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Rebounds and Rude Awakenings


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 15th October 2017, 9:56 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trust666 View Post
The dreams suck, I have them. The other thing I have is waking up on some days and having to go through realizing all over again that we broke up.

I'm also with you on the pain and damage we leave in our wake and or are part of, I'm learning it's life. Some hurt a lot more than others.

Many of us are right where you are, it's hard and I wish you the best of luck.

It's not right that some folks rebound, some are not aware of it some are but in the end they end up screwing up a 3rd party who gets all messed up.
Thanks Trust666. Part of me just wants that relationship to end and for her to come back but I doubt it. I feel bad for feeling like this but I guess it's normal. I know over time, all these feelings will subside.

Last edited by Beachead; 15th October 2017 at 10:23 PM..
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Old 15th October 2017, 10:24 PM   #17
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I'm noticing a pattern in a lot of these posts, and it's that these women want their cake and to eat it to. They're using guys, with no consideration for their feelings. They're selfish to the very core, and really poisonous insofar as relationships are concerned. I think the goal should be to not only never talk to them again, but try to avoid that type in the future.
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Old 18th October 2017, 7:58 AM   #18
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I don't know. I think in some cases, there isn't really a way to spot this type until they reveal themselves in the act. They all just seem normal people dealing with everyday problems.

She made me believe the positive sides of her.

She showed up to an appointment regarding my surgery before we even started going out which is one of the reasons I started to fall for her. I didn't ask her to do that but she did things like this. And she was looking me dead in the eyes when she said she loved me. Dead in the eyes when she told me to trust her and have faith in this. Dead in the eyes when she said she wasn't in this for only fun..and that it was serious. She'd buy me gifts when she was out with her friend. She knew I didn't want her to spend her money but she'd do it anyway and show up in the evening to surprise me with them. I wanted to have sex with her but I never pushed and thought we'd take it slow but she was the one who asked me to. And the week before we broke up, she had arranged for me to meet her sister. She talked about me meeting her parents and really put a lot of thought into it. She wasn't a bad girlfriend. And it's not because I'm choosing to remember the positive only. We just never fought about us or who she was or or who I was. The problem was her ex and only her ex. Then we decayed in just over a week and suddenly she was back with him and gone from my life.

I look back 2 months later and still can't process it.

Like why? How can someone who was like that, do this? How do they just stop?

Calling it a rebound just feels like a dismissal or a cop out of an answer to me even though that's what it probably was.

Last edited by Beachead; 18th October 2017 at 9:43 AM..
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Old 13th November 2017, 8:14 PM   #19
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Needed to come back here for a personal session.

I feel my mood slipping down the hole again. It's been 2 months since I last heard from her. I shouldn't care but I care. I should be relieved but I feel crappy. I miss her and I wish I didn't.

Everyday is such a struggle to get through just because I had to be stupid and give this girl a try. A girlwho left me for a second try with her ex and who now has vanished. All those conversations and moments we shared just brushed off like dust. Really makes a person feel insignificant.

I want to just be over this.

Last edited by Beachead; 13th November 2017 at 9:08 PM..
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Old 13th November 2017, 10:13 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by Beachead View Post
Needed to come back here for a personal session.

I feel my mood slipping down the hole again. It's been 2 months since I last heard from her. I shouldn't care but I care. I should be relieved but I feel crappy. I miss her and I wish I didn't.

Everyday is such a struggle to get through just because I had to be stupid and give this girl a try. A girlwho left me for a second try with her ex and who now has vanished. All those conversations and moments we shared just brushed off like dust. Really makes a person feel insignificant.

I want to just be over this.
Hey, I know what you're going through. I went as far as buy an engagement ring and was about to propose (photographer ready and everything), 7 days before she dumped me. It was all perfect, the families knew each other, she reassured me that I was "the one", my intuition even gave me the thumbs up... and then just like that, it ended. From what I'm reading, perhaps you should take the plunge and see a therapist. Someone holistic that'll really dig in deep and see how you fell for someone like that. Perhaps there were red flags that were ignored; I know I did. Until this day I kick myself on how I could have fallen for someone like that, but my therapist really helped and although I'm still mourning, I've had the strength to not give in when she reached out. Women like this always reach out, may not be tomorrow, may not be next month, hell, it might not be in two years, but they always reach out. My best advice to you, since we're the same age as well, seek help. Wisdom is learning from your AND other people's mistakes; we don't live long enough to only learn from our own.
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Old 14th November 2017, 6:08 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by wishyouneverleft View Post
Hey, I know what you're going through. I went as far as buy an engagement ring and was about to propose (photographer ready and everything), 7 days before she dumped me. It was all perfect, the families knew each other, she reassured me that I was "the one", my intuition even gave me the thumbs up... and then just like that, it ended. From what I'm reading, perhaps you should take the plunge and see a therapist. Someone holistic that'll really dig in deep and see how you fell for someone like that. Perhaps there were red flags that were ignored; I know I did. Until this day I kick myself on how I could have fallen for someone like that, but my therapist really helped and although I'm still mourning, I've had the strength to not give in when she reached out. Women like this always reach out, may not be tomorrow, may not be next month, hell, it might not be in two years, but they always reach out. My best advice to you, since we're the same age as well, seek help. Wisdom is learning from your AND other people's mistakes; we don't live long enough to only learn from our own.
Thank you for your reply wishyouneverleft.

I am sorry for what you had to go through with this girl. She should have been more introspective about how she was feeling if she cared about you to avoid leading you on like this. It does bother me a lot that many people out there can be so reckless in relationships when they can only be built on trust, honesty and communication. I guess the light to this dark side is that in that painful discovery, you were spared the financial burden of weddings, buying a new home, and other marriage related expenses as well as ending up with someone who turned out to be uninvested. I know there's not much comfort in this when you invested so much of yourself and this was the crappy outcome. Good on you for holding strong and not reaching out to her.

The only memory of her is this card I keep in my wallet that she gave to me for goodluck. It was something her parents gave her. I thought I had given away everything she bought me but I forgot about that and decided to keep it. She bought me a lot of things which she surprised me with. More gifts than I bought her. She always called. Showed me attention. Was concerned about my life. And that was the thing about her..she backed her words up with action. Genuinely made me feel loved. If it wasn't for who she was, I would have never considered a relationship with her. I didnt consider a relationship with anyone and there were girls who came my way. Unfortunately, everything we could have been was dwarfed by this 4 year love she had with her ex. I hope maybe you are right and that maybe she'll reach out again one day because I certainly can't. It's out of my hands. But I only see this happening if they break up. Only thing I can do now is carry on and forget.
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Old 19th November 2017, 3:54 AM   #22
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I'm 3.5 months of my break up and it's been over 2 months since she last reached out. It's gotten very hard.

The silence from entering several weeks of no contact is hitting me. Thoughts are going all over the place. As much as I try not to think about it and keep busy, they come back and haunt me. Dreams too.
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Old 19th November 2017, 12:34 PM   #23
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Be patient with yourself.
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Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone.
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Old 29th November 2017, 12:07 PM   #24
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Minor Update*

Well I got super weak and did what I shouldn't have done.

I unblocked her on fb. Saw her profile picture. It was of her and her ex and a facebook relationship "In a relationship with so and so" update. I was hoping they wouldn't work out. In fact I was hoping the ones who said they wouldn't work out on here would be right. I feel bad for feeling it but I guess I'm just sick of being the one getting the short end of the stick. But, looks like they are happy and she moved on.

Turned myself into a fool for this fickle girl and the regret is strong.

I feel depleted. Foolish. Angry. Distant. Quite distant from everybody and everything these days. I wake up in the morning and I get chest pain. It's been brutal.

Month 3 takes the cake.

Last edited by Beachead; 29th November 2017 at 12:10 PM..
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Old 30th November 2017, 12:56 PM   #25
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Beachhead.

I feel you brother. I really do.

My ex did the dumping however but was practically forcing me to do it as she was treating me like dirt the last few weeks.

What does she do the day she breaks up with me? Runs back to her ex..after being with me for 6 years!!!
Granted. They have 2 kids together but moral of they story, try not to worry if they work out or not. It's irrelevant. But I've been in your shoes. Wondering will they last blah blah blah.
These types of people are broken man. Damaged goods. They are not wired like you and me.
Hang in there brother. There is light at the end of tunnel and it will shine bright eventually. Promise
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Old 25th March 2018, 3:08 PM   #26
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update*

I just wanted to return to my old thread and update people on what happened in my situation as a rebound.

I found out today, about 8 months into my break up, my ex is getting married.

This thread is officially done.
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Old 26th March 2018, 9:13 AM   #27
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Stay strong, buddy.
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