Blocked. Will my ex ever contact me again? Have i pushed her too far?

[Wisebutsodumb]

My ex cheated on me Last July(2016)and broke up with me in November. She sort of tried to stay together, it was more me trying to keep us together instead of pulling away and letting her breathe until like end of March. I had found out she cheated on me the day after she broke up with me(but i had a feeling)

 

In January and Beyond I became needy, insecure and suffocating. She had lied to me during that time period as well. She was ashamed of what she did. Regretted. She went into a dark place and hated herself. We loved eachother we had no qualms really. It was my first relationship and her longest one. She thought she caught feelings and cheated on me. I think she went more the physical attention, because i hadnt been around that summer due to school.

 

Anyway she blocked me an April and it has done me well. She needed to block me in order for us to have space because we would always wind up talking again.. or messaging eachother. She had contacted me a few times in June and same for me. I stupidly picked up and called back or texted back... sigh.

 

Anywho I met with her Ausust 1st after not seeing her for 3 months and texting her for basically 2. We had a nice time together and I apologized for my mistakes and I gave her support and reassurance on her life. We both cried when I was talking about the myself and how I'm improving and the old relationship. I saw her feelings in her eyes when she looked at me. I tried to tell her I want to form a new relationship with her, but she said at the moment all she wants is to be friends.

 

She told me how she doesn't think she has anything to give. She grows off of people and people don't grow off of her. She feels like she does nothing and has nothing to give.

 

I obviously tried to cheer her up. Either way we had a nice time together and went out separate ways. At first I was gong to agree to be her friend but said no. We need more space and time I said.

 

She had lost her feelings for me. She doesn't know how. She couldn't trust her gut. She didn't want to hurt me again and she is scared to. She says She doesn't deserve me and she still can't get over what she did. She try's to avoid the thought of me. It depresses her because I was the love of her life and she was mine. I became unhealthy after the cheating and I'm doing much better now and I want to show her my new self but she definitely isn't ready and I feel she still wants to test the waters which hurts. She ignores me texts and avoids messaging me(I'm still blocked on all social media)

 

I tried telling her I forgive her and I don't want her to look at me in that negative light because we had such good times together but she runs from her problems...

 

I'm a romantic and I love this girl after everything. I know she has done me wrong and I deserve better but I know this girl and I wouldn't want to lose her... but I do want her to grow and learn for herself and that is why I'm giving her space and not being her friend. And I still need to go solo.

 

 

I know she gained feelings for another guy but she got used...

also she has met new ppl... she likes attention and needs people to talk to... but nothing serious.

 

I know she says when we broke up her feelings for me left her. A mutual friend of ours spoke to her and she said that she wish she knew how to get her feelings back for me, I was the love of her life and even If she knew how to get them back. She didn't deserve me.

 

She fell in love with someone else in the summer. Who doesn't want to be committed to her. She Apparently broke things off with him but they still see eachother possibly

 

When I met up with her recently(September) she expressed and showed that she is getting her life back together. Doing all the things I had been nagging her to do. Taking care of her health being more mature and just improving herself daily. Making better life choices and I'm very happy for her and she is very happy. She loves her life at the moment and she is happy and that confidence I must say is amazing.

 

Then there's me who wants her back in her life and wants to be with this new growing ex.

 

I texted her a few times throughout 2 weeks but she ignored them, lied about wanting to be friends and blocked my number now. She lied to not feel like an *******. I guess I annoyed her with the texts and the fact how i say i will leave her alone and the and come back later. I think she thinks i'm weak and might of lost respect for me. I mean it did take me almost a year to let go. We had a lot of on and off and then when she blocked me the first time in April it was hard for me to let go and i tried contacting her a few times. I think she thinks i will always try to reach out to her, but i sent her an email after she blocked me and it will be the last thing i sent her. I don't care if she replies, but in the back of my mind i think have i pushed her so far away from me? Will she ever contact me again? I'm upset at myself for making myself look weak.

[Blanco]

- She cheated on you.

- She dumped you.

- She blocked you.

 

Instead of worrying whether or not she will contact you again, worry about where you misplaced your dignity.

[TwinFlameGone]

This one is all BAD. You made too many mistakes to fix any of this now. This one will have to burn slowly. I had a similar break when I was a lot younger. The girl had my heart and cheated. I like a dumb-ass was still eager to work on things are get understanding. Long story short, I got over it and moved on. I kept living and you know what - she came back to me and I had no intention of being anything more than friends.

 

Lesson 1: Always let a girl come to you. If you're texting out of turn its "needy". I'd never know if an ex blocked me or not because I refuse to reach out first... I'm battling a recent breakup, but I refuse to budge on NC until I feel right about communicating again.

[ExpatInItaly]

She does not want to be with you.

 

You refuse to accept it.

 

She might contact you again, but you two are not going to spend your lives together. It has nothing to do with how you behaved after the breakup. It's just that she wasn't into you enough not to cheat or try to work it out.

 

It's over, my friend. And it has been over since the day she cheated.

[d0nnivain]

You already lost her by her choice: she CHEATED on you. You should not be groveling to take her back.

 

 

Be happy she blocked you & is no longer speaking to you. It's the nicest thing she could have done. You need some tough "love" and this is it. Stay away from her.

[Marc878]

You really need to have some respect for yourself.

 

Your actions are extremely unnattractive

[Wisebutsodumb]

Okay , lets get this straight, i have self respect for myself.

 

yeah you are right i shouldn't of texted her or reached out as much as i did. i should have let her see if she wanted to come back but that was something i didn't have experience in. love and hope made me do dumb things. I took a few months to myself , to really think about things and even after it all i wanted her in my life. I know she doesn't want me in her life, for what reason idk , but we never know. it doesn't matter.

 

Some you guys come out as douchebags. Its not even tough love at that point. This has been going on awhile and i'm in a good place, i was just curious. i know she might not ever come back in my life and ill be okay. i know that. Just im new to this whole, having a person be your everything for a few years and then them wanting nothing to do with you, while you did nothing wrong.

[ExpatInItaly]

Okay , lets get this straight, i have self respect for myself.

 

yeah you are right i shouldn't of texted her or reached out as much as i did. i should have let her see if she wanted to come back but that was something i didn't have experience in. love and hope made me do dumb things. I took a few months to myself , to really think about things and even after it all i wanted her in my life. I know she doesn't want me in her life, for what reason idk , but we never know. it doesn't matter.

 

Some you guys come out as douchebags. Its not even tough love at that point. This has been going on awhile and i'm in a good place, i was just curious. i know she might not ever come back in my life and ill be okay. i know that. Just im new to this whole, having a person be your everything for a few years and then them wanting nothing to do with you, while you did nothing wrong.

 

 

You really don't, man. It's obvious to all of us on this thread and your other ones, and it's obvious to your ex.

 

Self-respect means not continuing to pursue to a girl who clearly doesn't want to be with you anymore, for months after she cheated. It means not sitting around and hoping an uninterested cheater contacts you again. Self-respect means knowing the jig is up and not telling yourself that you're just curious.That's not being in a good place. Being in a good place would imply you don't care if some cheating ex-girlfriend blocks you. You're not there yet. And that's okay, but you might as well be honest with yourself.

 

You can call us names, we've heard it all. Doesn't really change anything. We took the time to read and respond to you without sinking to that level. You're resorting to that because you're hurt and sad and don't like what you're hearing. You say you're new to this, so consider for a moment that many of us here are not. We have been dating long enough, and have enough experience to know that you are only enabling your own unhappiness and that this won't end well for you. We are older and have been around that block, and can see around corners in a way that your admitted inexperience doesn't yet permit you.

 

You will get over her, and one day wonder why you handed over your dignity to a girl who so badly disrespected you.

[Wisebutsodumb]

You really don't, man. It's obvious to all of us on this thread and your other ones, and it's obvious to your ex.

 

Self-respect means not continuing to pursue to a girl who clearly doesn't want to be with you anymore, for months after she cheated. It means not sitting around and hoping an uninterested cheater contacts you again. Self-respect means knowing the jig is up and not telling yourself that you're just curious.That's not being in a good place. Being in a good place would imply you don't care if some cheating ex-girlfriend blocks you. You're not there yet. And that's okay, but you might as well be honest with yourself.

 

You can call us names, we've heard it all. Doesn't really change anything. We took the time to read and respond to you without sinking to that level. You're resorting to that because you're hurt and sad and don't like what you're hearing. You say you're new to this, so consider for a moment that many of us here are not. We have been dating long enough, and have enough experience to know that you are only enabling your own unhappiness and that this won't end well for you. We are older and have been around that block, and can see around corners in a way that your admitted inexperience doesn't yet permit you.

 

You will get over her, and one day wonder why you handed over your dignity to a girl who so badly disrespected you.

 

Alright, sorry for that. I agree with you. Just, I loved the girl, and fighting hopelessly is pathetic but I thought I could change something but that's not possible because it takes two to tango.it was a very rough situation from where I was standing. I know I'll get over it, and I'm working on it day by day. Just think it's crazy how a person thinks you mean everything to them and then one day goes nah and forgets about you and everything done. That's the part I can't wrap my head around, but it doesn't matter anymore and you guys are right. I'll be fine because I don't need her in my life I just wanted her there. I know I deserve and can do better. Thanks and sorry again

[ExpatInItaly]

For what it's worth, many of us have been in your shoes. It's hard. And I completely agree - it's mind-boggling to wrap the mind around.

I was betrayed after 7.5 years together, and my ex is now married to the woman he cheated with.

 

But you know what I have learned? It is so much more satisfying to be with someone who truly wants to be with you and respects you enough not to even consider cheating. It is an infinitely more loving and happier experience.

 

You can have that, if you first let go of your ex. She is not worth your pain and there are much high-quality girls out there for you.

[d0nnivain]

Lots of people do dumb things in the name of love. Like ExpatInItaly said, we've all been there. Because you admit to chasing, clinging & emotionally prostrating yourself at this cheater's feet, that is why I said her blocking you is a good thing. She's forcing you to do that which you don't want to do -- go NC for real. It's the best thing & it will help restore your equilibrium which got disrupted when your everything turned out to be unworthy of the faith you placed in her

[Wisebutsodumb]

For what it's worth, many of us have been in your shoes. It's hard. And I completely agree - it's mind-boggling to wrap the mind around.

I was betrayed after 7.5 years together, and my ex is now married to the woman he cheated with.

 

But you know what I have learned? It is so much more satisfying to be with someone who truly wants to be with you and respects you enough not to even consider cheating. It is an infinitely more loving and happier experience.

 

You can have that, if you first let go of your ex. She is not worth your pain and there are much high-quality girls out there for you.

 

Yeah I don't get it, I don't get how people can just cling on to you and fling you away for good? Does anything stick to them? I showed her so much and now I won't even be related to them but I guess that's hoe it is.

Ah, I'm

Sorry to hear that btw.

And I agree with you on everything you said.

[Wisebutsodumb]

Lots of people do dumb things in the name of love. Like ExpatInItaly said, we've all been there. Because you admit to chasing, clinging & emotionally prostrating yourself at this cheater's feet, that is why I said her blocking you is a good thing. She's forcing you to do that which you don't want to do -- go NC for real. It's the best thing & it will help restore your equilibrium which got disrupted when your everything turned out to be unworthy of the faith you placed in her

 

Yeah I regret pushing so hard and not backing away when I had th chance but I learned. I learned a lot and it's an invaluable lesson. I've been NC before 3 months. Blocked off everything but this time there will be no response back from me. I need my equilibrium back and I have been working on it

[ExpatInItaly]

Yeah I don't get it, I don't get how people can just cling on to you and fling you away for good? Does anything stick to them? I showed her so much and now I won't even be related to them but I guess that's hoe it is.

Ah, I'm

Sorry to hear that btw.

And I agree with you on everything you said.

 

The people who can fling you away are the ones who are no longer invested in you. It's a hard truth to accept, I know. The ones who cheat put their own selfish desires ahead of respect for you.

 

And often the ones who cling hard in the beginning are better to avoid. They're usually the ones who dive in to a relationship to feel better about themselves and soothe their insecurities, rather than out of sincere love for the partner. They operate from a place of lust and hormones and fear of being rejected, which is not ideal in a stable and long-term relationship.