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Husband of 11 years has left me


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Please bare with me as it's a long one. We have 3 kids and have been together for 15 years. I love him with all my heart. However it's my fault this has happened. I have a gambling problem, he has a good job and was sick of us having no money to do anything. He finally left me last week saying he was sick of trying and that he no longer loved me.

 

He came round yesterday to see the kids and I told him I was getting help. He just said stop telling me what you're doing, just let me see what you're doing. I said that we can get trough this and that his love can come back, we'd just lost our spark. He said again, I don't love you and don't want to be with you.

 

I again said we may come through this and he said 'right now in my head we cant'

 

I will change but I want him back. I love him, he's my best friend and soulmate. I wanted to die last week but didn't do anything cos of the kids. Do you think if I show him I've changed he may come back?

 

He's getting a flat and getting his own bank account etc I just can't see a future without him

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Join Gamblers Anonymous. Until you beat your addiction you have no chance of repairing the relationship. Good luck.

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Please bare with me as it's a long one. We have 3 kids and have been together for 15 years. I love him with all my heart. However it's my fault this has happened. I have a gambling problem, he has a good job and was sick of us having no money to do anything. He finally left me last week saying he was sick of trying and that he no longer loved me.

 

He came round yesterday to see the kids and I told him I was getting help. He just said stop telling me what you're doing, just let me see what you're doing. I said that we can get trough this and that his love can come back, we'd just lost our spark. He said again, I don't love you and don't want to be with you.

 

I again said we may come through this and he said 'right now in my head we cant'

 

I will change but I want him back. I love him, he's my best friend and soulmate. I wanted to die last week but didn't do anything cos of the kids. Do you think if I show him I've changed he may come back?

 

He's getting a flat and getting his own bank account etc I just can't see a future without him

 

Put yourself in his shoes . . .

 

I will change -- How long have you had a gambling problem?

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It's been going on a few years he threatened to leave about 2 years ago and I was in denial. We had a blip 3 months ago too.

 

I will change and I am. I want him to see me as the woman he fell in love with. I hate myself for what I've done and it's only now I see what sort of person I've become.

 

He says he loves me as the mum of his children, still finds me sexually attractive. And that eventually maybe we can go for a drink for a chat as friends.

 

I can't do this without him. I'm 38 and have never been on my own before

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Lean on your GA people for support. You have to show your husband that you can stand on your own & beat the addiction. Have faith in your higher power.

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Dear OP,

Well it sure does sound like he has put his foot down and you are now getting it...glad you are getting help. And, yes, you two need counseling. Glad that looks like it's on the horizon too. He must love you, since he has given you so many chances...so go ahead and do the changing of habits and show him who you are. Ask him if you two can go on a date (without friends) every week just to have fun and be together. He will see the new you without you having to tell him! Refrain from telling him in fact! Answer his questions, and share stories about the kids and what you are all doing. Just love him back, you can do this! Marriage is so worth saving. You must be a good example for your kids too so the need to quit the gambling habit is a must anyway. Lots of prayers and hugs...

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It's been going on a few years he threatened to leave about 2 years ago and I was in denial. We had a blip 3 months ago too.

 

I will change and I am. I want him to see me as the woman he fell in love with. I hate myself for what I've done and it's only now I see what sort of person I've become.

 

He says he loves me as the mum of his children, still finds me sexually attractive. And that eventually maybe we can go for a drink for a chat as friends.

 

I can't do this without him. I'm 38 and have never been on my own before

 

Do you work? I'd work and be independent if I were you! Save money!

 

Start proving you can be responsible with earning and saving money!

 

This IS something you have the power to do yourself!

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