crystal_77 Posted September 10, 2017 Share Posted September 10, 2017 We broke up, I was really emotional during the break up, he was a volcano who blew up because he'd been holding in anger for so long. I moved out of our shared bedroom & haven't spoken to him since. He broke up with me saying he wasn't interested anymore and didn't want to lead me on. He wanted space. On Tuesday, I went to go get the rest of my belongings at work, and I left a note that basically said I'm sorry we hurt each other, I'll cherish our loving memories, take care. Got a text from him that night that basically said "thank you for your note, I left you one" with a heart emoticon. I didn't respond. The next day I had to return to get my mattress and he had left a page long note saying he's sorry for so many things and will always feel like he loves me, that he loves me now, that it took him the most courage he's ever needed to do this. He set up a bunch of our sentimental belongings in an arrangement on his dresser -- gifts I've given him, dried flowers we've kept, a card I gave him a few weeks ago, a photo... I left the key and didn't leave a second note. This was Wednesday. He texted me yesterday morning around 6am saying, "Just dreamt about you. Hope you're doing ok." I haven't replied. I'm really confused. Does he just feel guilty? We were together a year and a half. After we broke up, he was liking a bunch of women's cleavage shots on social media so I blocked him that weekend. If he wants to move on, why is he texting me that he dreamt about me? I don't know what to think. Edit: Part of why we broke up is because we've been living in a spare bedroom for three months after living in a three bedroom home together. Moving into this room really killed the romance and our sex life & I became very depressed and claustrophobic. I asked if we could move out many times and he didn't seem to understand how it was making us both feel trapped (he blamed me for being suffocating instead). I feel so much happier now that I'm in my own apartment, so hopefully he's getting the space he needs. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted September 10, 2017 Share Posted September 10, 2017 It's common for dumpers to reach out after an ending. Dumpers go through their own process of detaching and sometimes reach out due to their need to cope through loneliness, boredom or likely the discomfort of losing that familiarity that they once had with the dumpee. I'm sure there is a part of him that is feeling guilt and feels he needs to be in your good graces to help alleviate those bad feelings. Focus on what's real. He asked for an ending. Nothing has changed. If he wanted to you back, he'd text you that rather than a crumb. Yes, he wants to move on but it's also a process for him to fully detach from you. It's not fair but that's where you have to place a boundary and cut that kind of communication off. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TwinFlameGone Posted September 10, 2017 Share Posted September 10, 2017 doesn't sound to bad to me. though if he were really trying to fix things he'd suggest meeting in person and some sort of activity. he did make the request for space... so i wouldn't equate him reaching out to be anything other than being friendly. though I have had small splits like this, and after some time ended back together. its really your call. in your case, i wonder if due to the living situation changing maybe he felt it as his short-coming. as a guy, if i'm not financially secure i prefer not to be in a relationship. maybe he wants the space to work on himself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author crystal_77 Posted September 10, 2017 Author Share Posted September 10, 2017 (edited) I think we definitely need time from each other. I don't need him in my life right now, and I'm not sure I want to get back together because I felt so frustrated and depressed living in that place with him. I consider the brief note I left him my goodbye, and I hope I don't run into him anywhere soon. I'm mostly just confused by the arrangement of objects he made and his telling me that he's dreaming about me. I've been broken up with before, and my other ex didn't text me just a week or two later to say he was having dreams about me. He texted me 4 months later to check in, but not right away. Edited September 10, 2017 by frenchmoodle Link to post Share on other sites
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