I'm completely messed up right now - this is not normal

[martin62]

I think I just had my first nervous breakdown… this past 3-4 weeks have been too much for me.

 

A month ago I get into a fight with my GF – the fight was caused by me, I take full responsibility. I also remove her on Facebook at the same time.

 

A few days later she asks for us to keep some distance to think things over but do not meet others at the same time.

 

I find out she meets a new guy like 24 hours later.

 

Then like a week later we talk about meeting up and discuss things. Next day she texts me she’s very sick and didn’t even go to work. I go to her place, help her to the doctor (she couldn’t even go alone by herself).

 

After that we talk like 7 hours straight. I tell her I suspect she is already with someone else and it was ****ty to put me on hold until she tries out the other dude. That it’s also ****ty towards me but also towards the other guy.

 

4 days later she insists on meeting up. I go, she breaks up with me (totally expected, wasn’t even upset) and says that the day before she also broke up with the new guy because she realized I was right and that it’s not nice to play with people like that.

 

Then she goes on a rant about the new guy that he’s been weird, that he was asking her if she can cook on their second date and that he wants a wife who can cook for him etc. and that she found that very weird. And that the guy (29yo) lives with his mom and dad (he’s an engineer though, great job, not a loser) and his mom irons his shirts and does laundry etc..

 

She continues with ranting out the guy that he might be slow minded, because even after yesterday’s breakup talk with him, today he acts like nothing happened, with “good morning cutie…” text messages and etc.

 

Anyway, at the end of the meeting she says that if I’m sure I still want her then I can anytime come and find her and it might not be completely over for us (weird thing to say during a breakup meeting). We then leave, she goes in for a kiss (yeah…) before going our way.

 

1 hour later (11 PM) she texts me “I hope that this is not the end of this story :-*”

 

Next day she texts me like all day long with how she misses me, invites me to the Opera next week, makes plans with me etc. – which was really weird, she just broke up with me a day before.

 

Day 2 she like calls me 4 times that day, during one of the calls again rants and laughs about the other guy that he again contacted her today pretending nothing was wrong, sending a poem as good morning text, calling her like “hey babe, lets go out today haven’t seen you in 4 days already…:-*”. Told me how weird and strange all that was. Brings up his weird comment about a cooking wife again etc.…

 

Next day all is like during the previous days. Messages, calls etc.

 

However, the day after that she just goes completely silent. Just completely disappears.

 

Goes on for 2 days. I activate my detective skills and find out she again met up with the other guy. They’ve been meeting every day the past 2 days.

 

I call her right then and ask what’s up with leading me on again after last week’s “breakup” talk. Ask about the other guy if she has met with him.. she denies. Tell her if she did that’s fine, I can understand but should please be upfront with me and tell me so I know what’s up.

 

She tries to stall for time, claiming she doesn’t know yet… needs time to think… I should give her more time… I tell her, no, I want to know right now. She still tries to stall with “really right now? Why now? Can’t we wait etc.” etc.

 

Tell her I pretty much strongly suspect (I knew for a fact, but didn’t want to appear stalkish) this is because of the other guy and I’m totally not upset but she should tell me we’re done for real now and it’s not cool to string me along while she meets the other guy. Again nothing, claims there’s no other guy... she just needs time alone, bla bla.

 

I say "yeah cool whatever, bye then... gl with the other dude".

 

Then I also remove and block her from Facebook for a second time (re-added her last weekend after the talk).

 

Next morning 6 AM I get a text message from her “You have removed me again from Facebook???” – it might not come across here, but I know her mannerisms, and for her that was an extremely scolding and condescending message. Like, telling me I’m the childish d*ck here who can’t act like an adult.

 

I didn’t say a word after that. Blocked her on the phone too after that. But didn’t help me not completely losing it. Like seriously what the actual f*ck? After all these stunts it’s still ME who’s the childish pr*ck and it’s HER who is upset after I removed her from Facebook? Literally, what the actual F*CK? I mean, I’m not even sad or something right now, my mind is just f*cked at the moment.. like, as if I have taken some drugs that made me completely lose any sense of objective reality… Can't believe people actually acting like that and then condescendingly messaging you telling you you're childish to remove them from Facebook and be upset.

 

Yes, yes. I know I should have ended this ages ago. But seriously, why do people act like this?

[d0nnivain]

People act like this because they are human & none of this is ever linear. You can't control what she does. You can control what she does. In the face of this much drama -- break up, illness, another guy, her insistence on ranting to you about him (I can't believe you listened) . . . you need to just walk away & be done.

[TwinFlameGone]

 

Next morning 6 AM I get a text message from her “You have removed me again from Facebook???” – it might not come across here, but I know her mannerisms, and for her that was an extremely scolding and condescending message. Like, telling me I’m the childish d*ck here who can’t act like an adult.

 

I didn’t say a word after that. Blocked her on the phone too after that. But didn’t help me not completely losing it. Like seriously what the actual f*ck? After all these stunts it’s still ME who’s the childish pr*ck and it’s HER who is upset after I removed her from Facebook? Literally, what the actual F*CK? I mean, I’m not even sad or something right now, my mind is just f*cked at the moment.. like, as if I have taken some drugs that made me completely lose any sense of objective reality… Can't believe people actually acting like that and then condescendingly messaging you telling you you're childish to remove them from Facebook and be upset.

 

Yes, yes. I know I should have ended this ages ago. But seriously, why do people act like this?

 

It's all good. Compared to lots of other nutty relationships yours actually isn't so bad. lol. I recommend going out on a date with a new girl. I stand by dating other people just to get in a different head-space. I can see why my ex-gf was able to move on so quickly; dating someone new either makes you miss the old relationship or encourages you to keep dating more ppl.