Killingmeslow Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 Hey, Yesterday my boyfriend and I decided on a mutual one month break with NC. We set the rules before we said goodbye. Which was mainly. Seeing no other people. A lot of people are saying I’m an idiot for thinking my boyfriend won’t see other people, but they are wrong. He’s not that type of person at all and I know he won’t so don’t bother telling me that he will. The reason for the break was that we were both overloaded and we needed some space to just clear our heads and do ourselves for a while. When we said goodbye we were both extremely upset and both cried. Which was surprising for him as he isn’t the crying type. I’m just wondering if anyone has gone through anything similar? If so. How did it turn out for you? Thanks. Also I’m kinda worried maybe after a month he’ll be over me? How long does it typically take for a guy to get over his ex? Also, we have been dating for about 2 years. Link to post Share on other sites
nothingsintheflowerz Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 How old are you guys? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Killingmeslow Posted September 7, 2017 Author Share Posted September 7, 2017 We’re both19 Link to post Share on other sites
nothingsintheflowerz Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 Hey, Yesterday my boyfriend and I decided on a mutual one month break with NC. We set the rules before we said goodbye. Which was mainly. Seeing no other people. A lot of people are saying I’m an idiot for thinking my boyfriend won’t see other people, but they are wrong. He’s not that type of person at all and I know he won’t so don’t bother telling me that he will. The reason for the break was that we were both overloaded and we needed some space to just clear our heads and do ourselves for a while. When we said goodbye we were both extremely upset and both cried. Which was surprising for him as he isn’t the crying type. I’m just wondering if anyone has gone through anything similar? If so. How did it turn out for you? Thanks. Also I’m kinda worried maybe after a month he’ll be over me? How long does it typically take for a guy to get over his ex? Also, we have been dating for about 2 years. I did a break like this with my ex, albeit it was only two weeks. We got back together. The same problems eventually came up and we broke it off. But your boyfriend won't be over you in a month. It takes guys a range of different time amounts to get over their ex, but if he loved her, a month would be short. So I wouldn't worry about it. You really need to take this time to do what you said it was for, to "do you" for a while. Worrying about him is counterintuitive to the purpose of the break. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Killingmeslow Posted September 8, 2017 Author Share Posted September 8, 2017 Yes the break is to do ourselves. Which I definitely plan to do, the only reason I’m worried is because it only happened yesterday. And it’s still fresh. I love him regardless and I will worry. I always worry. To much probably. But my life is changing it’s going to be about me for a month. Starting tomorrow. I’ve had my sad day. Now it’s time to get into life and move forward. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 Not to be a downer, but taking a "break" is usually a prelude to something more permanent. Life only gets busier the older you get, and you don't get to just call "time out" on a relationship because of it. You either work through it together or call it off. But a break is this wishy-washy non-commitment that usually doesn't lead to anything good. Again, not trying to be a downer, but I've taken "breaks," for various reasons in my younger years, and in retrospect, it was never something that improved the relationship; mostly because when you're on a "break," you technically aren't together and so both parties are free to meet people without fear of blowback. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 Who initiated this, OP? And why, exactly? I know you said you're both overloaded and need to be your own people, but what specifically were the problems? Arguing? Less time together? I have to agree with Blanco, that breaks are often a precursor to a complete break-up. Unless you're both actively working on whatever problems you had between you, a break doesn't generally accomplish much in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Killingmeslow Posted September 9, 2017 Author Share Posted September 9, 2017 Hi, My ex Boyfriend has always been a gamer, but since our breakup. He’s been crazy. Like 10+ hours daily. From what I can see when I log into my steam... (yes may have stalked him) Is he using this to block out all the feelings? Also, we decided NC for a month, but he contacted me asking to disable family view from his steam account so he could set up his steam controller, I’m not sure if he was using that as an excuse to contact me, or you literally have to disable family view to set up a steam controller. (Btw the reason I had family view was for a reason we both agreeed on that was never used) and also. He had the pin code. Just options on this would be great also. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 He knows you're watching and wants you off there. I imagine he has some more time on his hands since he's no longer entertaining a woman at the moment. You're broken up and just causing yourself more pain by spying on him and wondering if any of it has to do with you or not. He was being subtle making up another excuse to get you off his family view, trying not to hurt your feelings, but he's erasing you from his life so you can both move on. Link to post Share on other sites
FilterCoffee Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 Hey Killingmeslow, He's probably really upset about the breakup and this is his way of coping with it. It's definitely not healthy but you can't really do anything about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Killingmeslow Posted September 9, 2017 Author Share Posted September 9, 2017 He knows you're watching and wants you off there. I imagine he has some more time on his hands since he's no longer entertaining a woman at the moment. You're broken up and just causing yourself more pain by spying on him and wondering if any of it has to do with you or not. He was being subtle making up another excuse to get you off his family view, trying not to hurt your feelings, but he's erasing you from his life so you can both move on. I wasn’t on his family view. I’m no so stupid as to log into his account. I have my own steam account... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Killingmeslow Posted September 9, 2017 Author Share Posted September 9, 2017 Hi, My ex Boyfriend has always been a gamer, but since our breakup. He’s been crazy. Like 10+ hours daily. From what I can see when I log into my steam... (yes may have stalked him) Is he using this to block out all the feelings? Also, we decided NC for a month, but he contacted me asking to disable family view from his steam account so he could set up his steam controller, I’m not sure if he was using that as an excuse to contact me, or you literally have to disable family view to set up a steam controller. (Btw the reason I had family view was for a reason we both agreeed on that was never used) and also. He had the pin code. Just options on this would be great also. Thanks Also when we were texting to figure it out. He also said. ‘We’ll be okay, we’ll figure it out in a month’ As we are sorta on a NC break. Link to post Share on other sites
springy Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 Why did he breakup with you? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 He's doing it because he can. And because he's got nobody to answer to. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 The reason for the break was that we were both overloaded and we needed some space to just clear our heads and do ourselves for a while. Hi, My ex Boyfriend has always been a gamer, but since our breakup. He’s been crazy. Like 10+ hours daily. From what I can see when I log into my steam... (yes may have stalked him) Yes, he really sounds busy. Sorry, OP, but this sounds like a soft exit, especially if he was the one initiated the idea of a "break." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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