Letter to my Ex

[Foolishsunsets]

I want to send a closure letter to my ex to help us both let go... I wouldn't mind giving us another try but I'm fine with either outcome so I mostly worded it to keep the door open for him to contact me again, even if we can be just friends, as I really like him as a person. In our last contact a few days ago he apologized for the way he acted post breakup and I misunderstood something so I overreacted and got mad at him...

Well here's my letter:

Hey you, I know how through and done this is already, so I'm not expecting anything from this. I just want you to know this. I never wanted things to end the way they did. I still think you're a great person. Sometimes pwople are great, just not for each other. And no amount of argueing is going to change that. I know whatsapp is only causing misunderstandings so I'm writing you this way. I took the time to think about everything carefully and want to give you time to read it without putting any pressure on you. I know it's long. I remember how we once talked about how women speak too much sometimes and men stop listening at some point? I hope that's not the case when it comes to reading.

I'm sorry that I overreacted. You only wanted to apologize. I did hope to talk to you again at some point and when you mentioned you missed the sex it seemed that the person I am isn't relevant even though it probably wasn't meant that way. I appretiate your honesty.

I know that I did just as much wrong. You wanted space and instead of respecting your wish I kept bugging you. I projected my fears and insecurities on you and used them against you... and I was too much on my phone instead of using the time I had with you. I think we could all use a little less internet. I was just scared of losing you, after I had already lost my parents, but obviously that just put more pressure on you. Nobody wants to be responsible for anyone's happiness. But it changed me, and I'm really thankful that I met you. Without you I wouldn't have had the courage to break free or to fly to New York to chase a crazy dream. I'd still be stuck in retail working like these internally dead cashiers. I still work in retail (for now) but atleast with niveau. I finally learned to stand on my own two feet.

I probably should have let it go like a rational thinking adult. After all you know when something is over and you can't change it anymore, right?

I know how silly that sounds but I often wish we had met now, maybe things would have been different.

Maybe you would realize how far I've come already. You will always be one of my favourite maybes. But you can't turn back time, you can only learn from it.

It feels like I was so much younger yesterday, even though it's only been a couple months.

Even though I'm not the same person anymore, you don't know that and you probably still think you dodged a bullet by breaking up with me.

All the desperation and frustration is finally gone, now that I stopped chasing you and actively worked on my own issues.

I just wanted to tell you sorry. And that's really difficult for me, not because I don't want to admit I was wrong, but because it feels so insufficient or like I was trying to make up excuses to sweep it under the carpet. Please don't feel guilty for anything. Sometimes people are angry and say things... you now know that I'm no better myself. I didn't mean anything I said. And I don't think you are as much of an idiot as you would like me to believe sometimes.

And obviously my problems aren't your fault.

I would find it nice if we could meet up at some point to talk about everything, now that the dust has settled. I still value you a lot as a person and would like to stay in touch with you. Obviously I don't want Chaos/Drama but I think we just need to resolve this to clear up the misunderstandings, even if it's just to help us both find our freedom. As already mentioned I'm fine with whatever you decide, so please don't feel pressured in any way. I don't like this negativity between us, especially seeing how big your impact was on my life... just take your time and think about it, the door for communication is open. I know I'm not your go-to-person for problems, but if you ever need me I'll be there for you.

If we shouldn't see each other again, I wish you all the best. Stay how you are and don't change for anyone. It's good that crazy people exist. They try to change the world, while normal people just adapt to the world. Therefore all progress depends on the crazy ones I hope you reach all the goals that were so important to you. I hope that you'll be able to travel a lot and get to see all the places you wanted to visit.

It's become a big long but I find it difficult to keep things short as it's a bit of my closure with everything that happened. It feels weird and self-indulgent, noboey writes letters nowadays...

All the best x

[springy]

Strongly recommend NOT sending this letter...

 

If you haven’t already apologized send a BRIEF text or email. Straight to the apology/point. But long letter with all the extra “fluff”...no. Especially to a guy who requested space... &you mentioned that you chased him. I think this will add dramatic effect to what sounds like may have been a dramatic breakup/post break period. I don’t recommend it. Cathartic for you hopefully but don’t send. Sorry :/

 

“I’m sorry I reacted horribly & I hope you can forgive me. Would like to meet sometime to chat/end this civilly if you’re up to it.”

 

/end

[Foolishsunsets]

Strongly recommend NOT sending this letter...

 

If you haven’t already apologized send a BRIEF text or email. Straight to the apology/point. But long letter with all the extra “fluff”...no. Especially to a guy who requested space... &you mentioned that you chased him. I think this will add dramatic effect to what sounds like may have been a dramatic breakup/post break period. I don’t recommend it. Cathartic for you hopefully but don’t send. Sorry :/

 

“I’m sorry I reacted horribly & I hope you can forgive me. Would like to meet sometime to chat/end this civilly if you’re up to it.”

 

/end

 

He requested space but contacted me twice post breakup on his own which may have been the guilt only I'm not sure. It's been three months and I completly backed off so the clingy thing isn't really an issue anymore... I'm not sure if he is up for meeting, but I do want him to know that. But I get how it may sound a little too much like a love letter.

[springy]

You haven’t spoken in 3 months ? Why did he break up with you? I still think stick to apology only but not asking to meet up. Sorry I thought this was fresh and ended on a bad note.

 

If you want to apologize with no ulterior motives I would leave it at that. But if you’ve already done the apologizing I wouldn’t rehash. Otherwise it looks like you are trying to get a reaction. Maybe I’m misunderstanding something. How did your last contact go?

[springy]

If what you really want is to meet up now/future then say so. Just put it on out there and be prepared to accept his response, whatever it may be. I know I sound all over the place. I’m supposed to be sleep right now. Something woke me up. Ugh!

[Foolishsunsets]

Strongly recommend NOT sending this letter...

 

If you haven’t already apologized send a BRIEF text or email. Straight to the apology/point. But long letter with all the extra “fluff”...no. Especially to a guy who requested space... &you mentioned that you chased him. I think this will add dramatic effect to what sounds like may have been a dramatic breakup/post break period. I don’t recommend it. Cathartic for you hopefully but don’t send. Sorry :/

 

“I’m sorry I reacted horribly & I hope you can forgive me. Would like to meet sometime to chat/end this civilly if you’re up to it.”

 

/end

 

You haven’t spoken in 3 months ? Why did he break up with you? I still think stick to apology only but not asking to meet up. Sorry I thought this was fresh and ended on a bad note.

 

If you want to apologize with no ulterior motives I would leave it at that. But if you’ve already done the apologizing I wouldn’t rehash. Otherwise it looks like you are trying to get a reaction. Maybe I’m misunderstanding something. How did your last contact go?

 

We spoke last friday. I misunderstood something and went completly angry at him, probably also partly because it made me angry how he told me that he never wanted to talk to me again and then out of the blue messages me twice as if it's okay for him to enter my life whenever he wants to but I can't contact him if I need him... But now that I think about it he didn't mean any harm by it. People do weird things when they are angry.

I didn't apologize yet, I feel like we'd do a greater damage if we started talking through Whatsapp again as it always leads to these misunderstandings. And I want to give him time to think about everything without feeling forced to reply immediately. I want him back in my life so I want him to know the door for friendship is open, even if we didn't work out he had a great impact on ny life

[Foolishsunsets]

Aw it's fine, I really appretiate your help xD And I hope you'll be able to get some rest soon haha

[nothingsintheflowerz]

I wouldn't send this. I would keep an apology short and to the point...and I don't even know if one is necessary at this point, or if it would just be an excuse to speak more to him again. This reads more like a personal journal entry than an apologetic closure letter.

[Foolishsunsets]

How about this:

Hey you, I'm sorry about reacting the way I did when we last talked, I know it wasn't necessary and I appretiate your thought. I know that sometimes people just aren't good for each other and love alone isn't enough. But I'm thankful that I met you because you gave me the courage for a lot of things

I'd like to catch up sometime, especially because I don't feel good about the way things ended and eventually it would help us both to find our peace.

Thanks.

[stillafool]

Strongly recommend NOT sending this letter...

 

If you haven’t already apologized send a BRIEF text or email. Straight to the apology/point. But long letter with all the extra “fluff”...no. Especially to a guy who requested space... &you mentioned that you chased him. I think this will add dramatic effect to what sounds like may have been a dramatic breakup/post break period. I don’t recommend it. Cathartic for you hopefully but don’t send. Sorry :/

 

“I’m sorry I reacted horribly & I hope you can forgive me. Would like to meet sometime to chat/end this civilly if you’re up to it.”

 

/end

 

I agree. Please don't send the letter. I wouldn't even send a text if he was the one to break up with you. The Dumper doesn't want to read any letters. When I've been the Dumper in the past I would throw letters away and not read them. He may do the same. He knows how to reach you if he wants you.

[Foolishsunsets]

I agree. Please don't send the letter. I wouldn't even send a text if he was the one to break up with you. The Dumper doesn't want to read any letters. When I've been the Dumper in the past I would throw letters away and not read them. He may do the same. He knows how to reach you if he wants you.

 

It's not to get him back. I want to resolve the drama around te breakup. He messaged me to apologize a few days ago and I acted weirdly. I think working out things in person would be better to finally find peace. Because he's been lurking around my social media for months probably out of guilt/etc. I know as much as I would love to give it another try, it wont work out. But I'd like to give it a civil ending

[springy]

I think staying in contact with an ex is a bad idea. If there are no kids involved or other ties that are binding you together you really need a large space of time to get past the feelings, especially if you were the one who was dumped. Offense and other crap such as what just occurred happens because the dumpee is in a sensitive state of mind.

 

If he told you he didn't want to hear from you I would seriously consider honoring his wishes. If/when he reaches out apologize at that time.

[nothingsintheflowerz]

How about this:

Hey you, I'm sorry about reacting the way I did when we last talked, I know it wasn't necessary and I appretiate your thought. I know that sometimes people just aren't good for each other and love alone isn't enough. But I'm thankful that I met you because you gave me the courage for a lot of things

I'd like to catch up sometime, especially because I don't feel good about the way things ended and eventually it would help us both to find our peace.

Thanks.

 

I'm going to dissect this a bit: It sounds like you want to get back together. It doesn't sound good, it sounds like it has too many points and shows a continued investment in the situation, it sounds presumptuous of what would be good for his mental and emotional health. When in reality, if he wanted to reach out to you, he would have already. And what's with the "thankful for the courage you gave me" part? Why are you idolizing someone who dumped you? His ego is big enough. Do yourself a favor and if you really need to send something, send the first sentence and that's it. I wouldn't send anything at all.