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Need moving on


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I “dated” a guy for a year and a half. It was mostly a hook up situation. We would hangout once or twice a week and talk all day long. It felt like he was my boyfriend but he wouldn’t make it official. I liked him so much it honestly feels like I was in love with him. In July I was fed up and I told him how I felt and asked him if it was going anywhere. He said that it wasn’t going anywhere and that we should stop talking.

 

 

Since then I have been acting totally psycho. I don’t want to feel like this and I don’t want to act like this, but it’s like I can’t control myself. I’ve made a fake dating profile to see if he was talking to girls on his. I’ve also texted him pretending to be my friend and got him to say things like that he was using me for sex because he was bored, talked to me to pass the time, thinks I’m only a 6/10 etc.

 

I realize that is totally psycho behavior and I don’t know what to do. It’s like I will literally do anything to talk to him and I don’t know why I am acting like this. I feel like I will never move on and my only option is to try to make things work with him, and I know that’s totally ridiculous. I don’t know how to move on and stop acting like this. Should I see a counselor? Help!

 

I'm 25, in an RN, I have a great career and a lot going for me. I feel like I've completely wasted the last 1.5 year of my life and I don't know where to go from here!

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Exercise some self control. Come up with something else to do when you feel like you want to check up on him -- clean, go for a run, call a friend, post here. But stop.

 

 

In the short term purge your life of him & rearrange your furniture. Make it a clean break.

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The good thing is that you are self-aware and realize that your behavior is inappropriate and unhealthy.

 

You built an image in your head that it was something special when it was clearly a hook up situation and you even acknowledge it. YOU CHOSE to "waste" 1.5 years. So, the sooner you accept responsibility and point the finger at yourself rather than project all this anger on him, the sooner you get to move on. If anything, this should be a lesson to you. Grow from it.

 

The next time you feel you are losing control, step back and reach out to someone who can talk you off the ledge. Whether a friend or family member. Reacting is not an option.

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You just confused reality with fantasy. You wanted to pretend something was something different then what it actually was.

 

If someone spoke that BS about me they would be done. If you want to chase around someone who TOLD people he was just using you for sex then that's a choice you make.

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