Fearful Avoidant Attachment Disorder

[Rgr1012]

Hey all,

 

I've posted my sad tale in here earlier (The dull, lingering ache of rejection). In a nutshell, we had a 2.5 year relationship, before she dumped me about two months ago, out of the blue. Throughout the relationship, she always seemed distant, afraid to get close. It was a LDR, so we only saw each other on weekends. During the week, when we were apart, I would barely hear from her...just one or two texts each day, which almost seemed perfunctory.

When she would go away, by herself, I would barely hear from her, and the texts would often be about her, and what she was doing, and little about me or our relationship. She went away by herself for March break, and I barely heard from her. She didn't see anything wrong with it.

Before the big breakup, there was never any discussion, zero, about issues she might have had with our relationship. She clearly wanted to avoid dealing with any heavy emotional issues. And then came the breakup...via email.

 

Anyway, I spoke with someone the other day, and he suggested she may suffer from Fearful Avoidant Attachment Disorder. Anyone familiar with this? Having read up on it today, it seems to fit. She had multiple relationships before me, each one lasting no more than a year or so, always ended by her. Pretty sure that she's probably already seeing someone else (I know she's online dating, because she messaged me through the dating site...'Lol...I found you!'). She craves the relationships, but starts backing away when the relationship gets too heavy. Sound familiar to anyone??

[Been]

I think that's an excuse. Much easier to point to that instead of yourself.

[Stephen44]

I read your post before and it reminded me of my ex. Always the push away anytime I got too close or things got heavy or stale. But still being open to FWB situations. Most advice is to run from fearful-avoidant. Any time you need them they will see that as a limitation on this freedom.and will engage on distancing behavior.

[ExpatInItaly]

Yes, I have experience with someone who is avoidant.

 

But based on what you wrote in your previous thread, I think it's less about an attachment issue and more that she simply wasn't as into you as you were into her.