caffefrappe Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 After a year and a half together, after that I told her we should wait a bit to move in together when we were about to sign a rental contract for a flat, and few discussions about kids and family which was a priority for her - my girlfriend told me suddenly that she really deeply cared for me but we were missing something to be together. It’s been about 5 weeks since we separated - I texted her to ask her if she would like to meet up on couple of weeks ago - she replied politely but no mention of meeting up. Then a week later, she send me a nice text to take some news - we met up few days after, she was pretty cold and tense, and after we discuss she told me that it was very hard for her, but she thought it was the right thing to do (not get back together). How can she give up so easily after wanting to live together and asking me if I wanted to have kids and a family? Link to post Share on other sites
Author caffefrappe Posted September 5, 2017 Author Share Posted September 5, 2017 thoughts anyone? Link to post Share on other sites
Been Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 This is a guess but it seems like she talked the talk but couldn't back it up when it came time to. In my experience and opinion she is interested I someone else or had been talking to someone because you didn't do anything wrong and you didn't mention any concerns she voiced. I need a little more info about her to get more of a feel. But when you said she acted cold to you that kinda of tipped it off because it wasn't a bad break up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 On the eve of signing a lease to move in together you put on the breaks. She was ready to go forward, moving in being the first step before marriage & kids. When you wanted to slow down she took that as rejection or you not being ready for a more serious commitment & now she has decided to seek out someone who she thinks does want those things. Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 thoughts anyone? You broke the fairy tail and disconnected the pair bond and now she will find another guy.. In reality, you can clearly see she never loved you and that will be something hard for you to swallow. She has probably said she loved you and made sooo many plans.. but that is the narrative in many of these break-ups. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 How can she give up so easily after wanting to live together and asking me if I wanted to have kids and a family? She was likely asking herself the very same question about you, OP. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
greenicon Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 What I don't get in this and so many situations these are 2 main issues: 1- Why did she not sit down with you and communicate her needs to you and the two of you could have talked it through. 2- Why do people on these Forums always assume that she into another guy. If this is always true then I really do give up. I feel you OP, i've been blindsided twice this year and on both occasions its been real flaky answers from the women in question. Link to post Share on other sites
Been Posted September 5, 2017 Share Posted September 5, 2017 Because usually their is someone else. Notice she never attempted to sit down and talk with him about ANYTHING. No major fight. No winding down of a relationship. And they had dated over a year so it wasn't like he didn't know her at all. But the biggest give away is her acting cold to him-like she's trying to !manufacture I'll feelings towards him and ask yourself why- their was no nasty fight or cheating on his part. Usually 9 times out of 10 her interest has gone somewhere else. I'm not saying she physically cheated on him but it doesn't always have to be physical. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LoveAnimals Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 I dont necessarily think there is anyone else. To be honest, I have acted in the way your ex has and I think maybe she is really thinking ahead and sees differences that may eventually affect the relationship and so she is choosing to end things now vs wasting years down the road (especially if she is 25+). She could also have abandonment issues and so when you initially hesitated it scared her off. unfortunately I dont think there is much hope in these cases because she may be too fearful to continue a relationship with you. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveAnimals Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 Also I think her coldness is just stemming from the fact that she is upset and its hard on her and it's her way of distancing herself from you. Link to post Share on other sites
Freesia120 Posted September 7, 2017 Share Posted September 7, 2017 I'm sorry OP, what I will never understand is why people string their partners along!!! She could have just said she needs more time to think things through if she felt rushed, why encourage you about raising a family then poof!!! she wants out?? Take it easy and start doing new things to keep you going. No break up is easy there will be some rough days...take it one day at a time. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts