lostconfusedbroken Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 Hey guys - Me and my boyfriend had an incredible relationship. He lived in another country but would fly to me every single weekend without fail as he is a pilot and so routed all of his flights through my country to see me whenever possible every weekend or every other. During this time there was no fighting just pure joy for 6 months. He was best friends with my brothers, all of my friends and my parents loved him. There was absolutely nothing that i could say was wrong. He told me he loved me two months in and that i was the one and when i asked him if it was true he stood by it and said it every single day thereafter. I then told him i loved him after 4 months and then proceeded to sleep with him on the 5 month mark. After that he became even more obsessed with me and things were perfect. We then went on holiday together and his friends were also there conveniently there at the same time. All who were nice apart from on who wouldn't acknowledge me. On the third day of our 5 day holiday i brought it up to my boyfriend " baby i really am worried your friend doesn't like me etc etc" and my boyfriend was furious. He said i crossed the line but later calmed down and we enjoyed the rest of our night. Later on i asked him in the car to stay at my place which he refused, said he did not want to come in my home or sleep with me and that i immediately get out as he was tired and wanted to sleep. I refused and told him that i didn't want to leave things on such a terrible note but he insisted i leave. The next day he blocked me everywhere apart from WhatsApp and so i messaged him many times asking to sort things out and he ignored all my messages. He then extended his trip to go out with his friends, avoided me, and is having the time of his life. This was on the 25th june. On 14 July it was my birthday and i was really sick with anxiety so i messaged him and he called me a freak and never to message him again. I told him " i need you to go through this with me you are my boyfriend " to which he said, " I'm not your boyfriend,". I then said " why did you dump me though i don't understand what I've done" and he then said " i didn't dump you. You messed up, end of. He then blocked me from WhatsApp and over the course of the days after he has erased all my comments and photos from his instagram, deleted me everywhere. Ive now been blocked absolutely everywhere He still follows all my friends and brothers on instagram and i have no idea what do do... Im so worried and depressed and i still have no idea what I've done wrong. This was 2 months ago. He then unblocked me on WhatsApp last week so i messaged him saying hey can we get a coffee ( as i thought he would want me to reach out if he unblocked me ). He didn't respond which confused me as why unblock me after all of this time if you won't respond. I ran into him outside a club with a guy friend of mine a couple of nights ago and said hello politely. He turned his nose up, mumbled hey and then turned his back..... PLEASE can someone tell me what to do from here ? Should i just block him? Message him ? If i block him he won't be able to message me even if he wanted to but I'm just not sure... please help me THANK YOU :sick::mad: Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 This guy sounds very erratic and rather emotionally unstable, OP. He got that pissed off because you were worried his friend didn't like you? Something doesn't add up. There was really nothing more to that story? Was this friend male or female? My guess is there's more to this friend's apparent coldness towards you (that you are unaware of) and your ex panicked when you brought it up..or your ex already wanted to end it and staged this bizarre fight to break up and blame it all on you. Either way, if he flipped out and blocked you everywhere, take it as a sign that he's not someone you could have a future with anyway. He sounds immature and harsh. No, do not message him again. You dodged a bullet here, which you will see when you're healed. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 Could be anything really BUT given the fact your bf is a pilot and he only drops by every weekend or every other, then my guess is he is married or attached. The friend giving you the evil eye went "WTF!" as soon as he saw you and told your bf, he either needed to drop you immediately or he would tell the gf/wife and your "bf" dutifully obliged. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 You need to acknowledge that this relationship has ended & you need to stay away from him. You didn't eff anything up. It was childish & cruel for him to not even address what was wrong & practically throw you out of the car. You have to stop chasing him. He's not worth your time. Block him all around, lick your wounds, heal then go on to date stable local people. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostconfusedbroken Posted August 22, 2017 Author Share Posted August 22, 2017 This guy sounds very erratic and rather emotionally unstable, OP. He got that pissed off because you were worried his friend didn't like you? Something doesn't add up. There was really nothing more to that story? Was this friend male or female? My guess is there's more to this friend's apparent coldness towards you (that you are unaware of) and your ex panicked when you brought it up..or your ex already wanted to end it and staged this bizarre fight to break up and blame it all on you. Either way, if he flipped out and blocked you everywhere, take it as a sign that he's not someone you could have a future with anyway. He sounds immature and harsh. No, do not message him again. You dodged a bullet here, which you will see when you're healed. There was really nothing else to the fight which is why it was so strange... What makes it stranger is when my ex eventually left the holiday place his friend asked for my phone number and asked to take me out when we bumped into each other at the beach Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostconfusedbroken Posted August 22, 2017 Author Share Posted August 22, 2017 You need to acknowledge that this relationship has ended & you need to stay away from him. You didn't eff anything up. It was childish & cruel for him to not even address what was wrong & practically throw you out of the car. You have to stop chasing him. He's not worth your time. Block him all around, lick your wounds, heal then go on to date stable local people. i am trying to move on but i just can't its so hard. Everything makes me remember him and i still love him and forgive him for what he's done. i JUST WANT some kind closure ,... Im being tortured. The strange thing is he's been in london now for 3 weeks straight which is totally abnormal since he is usually here 8 days a month. He's drinking and partying and shopping and spending money like he doesn't care.... He doesn't have any friends here apart from me so no idea why he's here .. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 You get closure from within yourself, not from the person who dumped you. Your thread title says he is playing mind games. He's not. You are playing them on yourself. He said good bye in a definitive & harsh way. He hasn't looked back. You are cyber stalking him. Since he's your EX you should have no idea where he is or how long he is staying there Stop torturing yourself. Cut ties. Block all social media. Ask mutual acquaintances not to update you about him. Stop playing these mind games on yourself. I'm sorry that you still love him. He clearly doesn't love you. He wasn't even nice to you when he dumped you. I'm even more sorry that you forgive him. He is not repentant. There is nothing for you to forgive because he's so callous. You have to let go. Until you do that you will remain miserable. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 i am trying to move on but i just can't its so hard. Everything makes me remember him and i still love him and forgive him for what he's done. i JUST WANT some kind closure ,... Im being tortured. The strange thing is he's been in london now for 3 weeks straight which is totally abnormal since he is usually here 8 days a month. He's drinking and partying and shopping and spending money like he doesn't care.... He doesn't have any friends here apart from me so no idea why he's here .. That you knew of. That may have changed, and it probably has. I doubt he is whooping it up all by himself. But I wonder, how do you know what he's been up to? Where are you getting this information from? Unfortunately, you won't get closure form this guy. You won't get a logical, satisfactory explanation out of him. I have a feeling there's way more to it than you knew, and that there could well be another woman in his life. His behaviour isn't unusual for guys who cheat and freak out when their worlds are at risk of colliding. I heartily agree with d0nnivain, there is nothing to forgive here. He treated you like crap and he doesn't feel bad about it. He didn't apologize or ask for your forgiveness. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 i am trying to move on but i just can't its so hard. Everything makes me remember him and i still love him and forgive him for what he's done. i JUST WANT some kind closure ,... Im being tortured. The strange thing is he's been in london now for 3 weeks straight which is totally abnormal since he is usually here 8 days a month. He's drinking and partying and shopping and spending money like he doesn't care.... He doesn't have any friends here apart from me so no idea why he's here .. How do you know what he is doing in London? He may have met someone there that he's interested in and that's why he's been there 3 weeks. Whatever the case he's done and you have to move on and make your own closure. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 You need to acknowledge that this relationship has ended & you need to stay away from him. You didn't eff anything up. It was childish & cruel for him to not even address what was wrong & practically throw you out of the car. You have to stop chasing him. He's not worth your time. Block him all around, lick your wounds, heal then go on to date stable local people. This is exactly what I would have written. You get closure from yourself. At this point, you are torturing yourself. This guy is clearly not a good guy. YOU need to make the decision to let it go and move on. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
springy Posted August 22, 2017 Share Posted August 22, 2017 Although that was really abrupt and I'm sure extremely painful for you, you've got to let this go. He's not going to give you "closure." You really should not make any further attempts to communicate with him, as it makes the situation worse for you. Stop following his activity - it will help some. Link to post Share on other sites
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