Moving to same city as ex

[Nadine123]

Hi all. I hope ure doing well.

 

I just got accepted to study filmmaking in a great university.I have been wanting to do this for a while but wasnt able to get in to many schools. The only problem is that my ex lives in the same city and this is giving me alot of anxiety.

 

1) I honestly dont want him to think that im crazy and i moved for him. I know I shouldnt care what he thinks.

 

2) Im worried that our common friends will also think that i moved for him. Many of or common friends dont really like me that much anyways since they were his friends to begin with.

 

Im being completely honest, i want nothing to do with him and I applied long before we broke up. I also have really bad anxiety and probably this is why im freaking out so much. I dont want to stop myself going because of him.

 

Would love to hear what you all think.

[d0nnivain]

You are moving for the university, not your EX. If your EX wasn't in that city, how would you feel about this filmmaking program? Especially if the school is in NY or LA, don't give it a second thought. If your EX is dean of the university, that's a different story.

[Nadine123]

I would still go. It's just im so concerned with what people and he thinks (I know i shouldnt).

 

The possibility of running into him also worries me.

 

It's so sad that an amazing experience like this is being ruined because of my stupid thinking.

Edited August 20, 2017 by Nadine123

[stixx]

Hi all. I hope ure doing well.

 

I just got accepted to study filmmaking in a great university.I have been wanting to do this for a while but wasnt able to get in to many schools. The only problem is that my ex lives in the same city and this is giving me alot of anxiety.

 

1) I honestly dont want him to think that im crazy and i moved for him. I know I shouldnt care what he thinks.

 

2) Im worried that our common friends will also think that i moved for him. Many of or common friends dont really like me that much anyways since they were his friends to begin with.

 

Im being completely honest, i want nothing to do with him and I applied long before we broke up. I also have really bad anxiety and probably this is why im freaking out so much. I dont want to stop myself going because of him.

 

Would love to hear what you all think.

 

I moved to 2 cities and another small town to rid a woman. No idea about your whole situation but lemme tell ya...When its done - its done for me. This crazy woman tracked me down through my family for a couple years because they loved her. Thought she was a great woman and real sweet.

 

She was real nice and sweet as can be. I date girls but I only been intimate with a very small amount. I knew her as a friend and we dated.

 

ended up a nightmare. Go to school and focus on your studies. This all happened to me when I was on college and started to enter the workforce to start our careers.

 

Crazy guy/gal in any situation has to go. Look out for you and your futures. Not some guy thats a nut.

 

There are ways to avoid a crazy mate in your life. Its tough when your younger but dont worry. The person will eventually go away as long as you dont bait him/her.

 

study smart and just move on.

[d0nnivain]

It's not stupid thinking. It's planning for the worst. Know what you will say -- I'm here for the fabulous program. You look well. Gee look at the time. I have to run. Bye.

 

Enjoy your programs.

[Nadine123]

I moved to 2 cities and another small town to rid a woman. No idea about your whole situation but lemme tell ya...When its done - its done for me. This crazy woman tracked me down through my family for a couple years because they loved her. Thought she was a great woman and real sweet.

 

She was real nice and sweet as can be. I date girls but I only been intimate with a very small amount. I knew her as a friend and we dated.

 

ended up a nightmare. Go to school and focus on your studies. This all happened to me when I was on college and started to enter the workforce to start our careers.

 

Crazy guy/gal in any situation has to go. Look out for you and your futures. Not some guy thats a nut.

 

There are ways to avoid a crazy mate in your life. Its tough when your younger but dont worry. The person will eventually go away as long as you dont bait him/her.

 

study smart and just move on.

 

Im not moving because of him and i woul still go even if he moved our or he is still married. I also dont have any intentions of contacting hsi family or even common friends.

[Nadine123]

does anyone else have opinions about this?

[RightHand]

Do your ex or his friends still follow you on facebook or twitter ?

Then just post a status saying how happy you are getting accepted to the university.

And then don't give a **** what are they thinking.

[stillafool]

Hi all. I hope ure doing well.

 

I just got accepted to study filmmaking in a great university.I have been wanting to do this for a while but wasnt able to get in to many schools. The only problem is that my ex lives in the same city and this is giving me alot of anxiety.

 

1) I honestly dont want him to think that im crazy and i moved for him. I know I shouldnt care what he thinks.

 

2) Im worried that our common friends will also think that i moved for him. Many of or common friends dont really like me that much anyways since they were his friends to begin with.

 

Im being completely honest, i want nothing to do with him and I applied long before we broke up. I also have really bad anxiety and probably this is why im freaking out so much. I dont want to stop myself going because of him.

 

Would love to hear what you all think.

 

Move there but don't contact him nor common friends (since they don't like you) and make new friends and acquaintances.

[Zahara]

Hi all. I hope ure doing well.

 

I just got accepted to study filmmaking in a great university.I have been wanting to do this for a while but wasnt able to get in to many schools. The only problem is that my ex lives in the same city and this is giving me alot of anxiety.

 

1) I honestly dont want him to think that im crazy and i moved for him. I know I shouldnt care what he thinks.

 

2) Im worried that our common friends will also think that i moved for him. Many of or common friends dont really like me that much anyways since they were his friends to begin with.

 

Im being completely honest, i want nothing to do with him and I applied long before we broke up. I also have really bad anxiety and probably this is why im freaking out so much. I dont want to stop myself going because of him.

 

Would love to hear what you all think.

 

At some point you need to start focusing on the bigger picture of your life. You're allowing a man that spent a minuscule amount of time in the grand scheme of your entire life to dictate a decision that could be life changing -- one that provides possible success and accomplishment through the decades of your life.

 

Yes, there is a possibility of bumping into him and but denying such an incredible opportunity because there is a small risk of bumping into an idiot and worrying about gossip is very, very short sighted.

 

Find a therapist to see if you can work on this anxiety and unresolved feelings you still feel for this guy. You need to work on your self-esteem. Regardless of this opportunity, you need to figure out why it's still holding you back and causing you such uncomfortable feelings.

 

You should not care what he thinks -- there is no reason you should be giving him this much power over your life. You need to ask yourself why he still has such an influence over your decision and why his view of you is still important. The only thing that should be important here is how this opportunity is going to change and impact your life. That should be the utmost, foremost priority in your life. He should have ZERO space in this picture. This opportunity should be getting you excited about all the doors that are going to open for you. Instead, you've allowed him and his friends to cloud over an amazing opportunity.

 

His friends or these fake friends of yours do not need to know what you are doing with your life. Your family and your closest and dearest friends should be all the support you need and they should be the only ones that know. And even if the story gets to these fake friends, you need to have a stronger mindset/backbone and start focusing on the positives.

 

These people are temporaries in your life. Nothing more. A year from now, you'll likely have a different life, new friends, possible new romantic interests and working towards your dream career. These people will be left in the distant past. Don't revolve your life around them. The only people that matter should be the ones that love you and care for you.

 

And if and when you bump into him, you'll learn to manage those emotions and move on. It's only make you stronger. Hiding in fear isn't the answer.

[stillafool]

It's so sad that an amazing experience like this is being ruined because of my stupid thinking.

 

You are correct in this. It is doubtful that him nor any of these people will care. Just meet new friends and enjoy this experience.

[Nadine123]

Move there but don't contact him nor common friends (since they don't like you) and make new friends and acquaintances.

 

thats what i was planning to do and they dont like me because theyre closer to him thats all.

[Nadine123]

At some point you need to start focusing on the bigger picture of your life. You're allowing a man that spent a minuscule amount of time in the grand scheme of your entire life to dictate a decision that could be life changing -- one that provides possible success and accomplishment through the decades of your life.

 

Yes, there is a possibility of bumping into him and but denying such an incredible opportunity because there is a small risk of bumping into an idiot and worrying about gossip is very, very short sighted.

 

Find a therapist to see if you can work on this anxiety and unresolved feelings you still feel for this guy. You need to work on your self-esteem. Regardless of this opportunity, you need to figure out why it's still holding you back and causing you such uncomfortable feelings.

 

You should not care what he thinks -- there is no reason you should be giving him this much power over your life. You need to ask yourself why he still has such an influence over your decision and why his view of you is still important. The only thing that should be important here is how this opportunity is going to change and impact your life. That should be the utmost, foremost priority in your life. He should have ZERO space in this picture. This opportunity should be getting you excited about all the doors that are going to open for you. Instead, you've allowed him and his friends to cloud over an amazing opportunity.

 

His friends or these fake friends of yours do not need to know what you are doing with your life. Your family and your closest and dearest friends should be all the support you need and they should be the only ones that know. And even if the story gets to these fake friends, you need to have a stronger mindset/backbone and start focusing on the positives.

 

These people are temporaries in your life. Nothing more. A year from now, you'll likely have a different life, new friends, possible new romantic interests and working towards your dream career. These people will be left in the distant past. Don't revolve your life around them. The only people that matter should be the ones that love you and care for you.

 

And if and when you bump into him, you'll learn to manage those emotions and move on. It's only make you stronger. Hiding in fear isn't the answer.

 

even though i never met you, im forever grateful for you.

[guest569]

I understand this as I work right near my ex. It gives me anxiety, and I even thought about moving away to get away from him and the memories.. but I have never seen him.

 

You need to cut off him and his friends completely. It will hinder your progress if you keep hearing from them and worrying about what they think. Don't let him stand in the way. If this is a great opportunity then seize it and start your new chapter and make new friends.