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Gf ex still in love with her

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Old 19th August 2017, 9:19 AM   #1
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Gf ex still in love with her

Me and my gf have been together for about 9 months, we moved fast and have been living together since the 3 month mark. My main problem is that she still talks to her ex and says they are best friends (she doesn't really have friends) but he always sends her long text messages saying how he's in love with her and that they are a better match than me and her and all kinds of stuff like that. She says she doesn't want to be with him that they are onky friends. I think it's pretty obvious but idk

Advice please
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Old 19th August 2017, 9:26 AM   #2
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Even if they really are only friends (her perspective - obviously he wants more), she needs to establish boundaries with him so that he stops saying such things or be cut off completely. It would be best if she simply cut him off, knowing his intentions. That she doesn't, raises some questions about WHY she wants to keep him in the background, continually trying to undermine your relationship. I would confront her on this, and ask her to fix it. If she won't, you may need to consider that her boundaries are too poor for a relationship with you.
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Old 19th August 2017, 11:48 AM   #3
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I think it's time to give her an ultimatum. You can't be friends with an ex who is always pushing to have you take them back. It's an unfair expectation to expect your present person you're dating be okay with that. Tell her that in light of the fact he is actively pursuing her and she insists on seeing him and listening to his begging, that you are stepping aside until such time as she realizes she can't be friends with an ex who is after her.
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Old 19th August 2017, 9:05 PM   #4
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Sorry but that's a non-starter. She should not have so much contact with an EX if she's living with you. They are not friends. He's biding his time until she dumps you or agrees to cheat on you with him.

You are fool for allowing this. Either she cuts him out or you break up There is no other option
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Old 20th August 2017, 3:22 PM   #5
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Yea thanks for some reason I lost some self confidence in this relationship but I always felt I was right. We had been on and off the last month and now I broke it off with her. 8 don't want a relationship like that

Appreciate the input
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