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Would you break up with someone going through a tough time?


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 18th August 2017, 9:23 PM   #16
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I just feel like we have both expressed doubts on multiple occasions very early in a relationship. I don't want to feel doubts especially this early. Does that seem like a reasonable concern?
Yes if does.

I think you know you need to break up.

Don't wait, it does nothing. It makes it worse.

Actually do it asap, so she can focus on her sick pet.
By the sounds of it, I doubt she will be too upset by the breakup.
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Old 18th August 2017, 11:18 PM   #17
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Honestly, I have been willing to compromise but she gives me absolutely nothing to work with. She never just clearly tells me that she wants to stay home. I'll make a plan to do some something, that she shows up, barely talks to me, and acts grumpy.

I work a service schedule due to the nature of my job and frequently have to work on Saturdays. I always stay at her apt. on Thursday nights since Fridays are one of my days off, and she never stays in my apt. on Friday nights. I discussed this with her but it's just not acceptable. We're both busy and have jobs but I felt like I was only one making an effort in this regard.

There've been a number of other things along the way that have really irritated me. For instance, I went down on her twice with no reciprocation. She then tells me later on that she expects me to get an STD screening for her to do the same. In general, I just feel like she hasn't been very affectionate or concerned with my sexual needs.

Honestly, I started to catch feels for her on several occasions but it just never felt consistent. I don't understand love. I often try to make a rationalization for it but I don't know that it can be. Sometimes the feeling is a feeling and it can't be explained or rationalized. I have a hard time trusting my gut even though it always seems to be right. I always seem to find a way to try and rationalize things.
This either is someone who isn't all that into you (sorry to say) or someone who is more of a taker than a giver.

She is not even invested in this relationship. Who would want to say?

If you wait to break up after the cat is put down, how long after? A week? You won't because she will be too upset. A couple weeks? No, too soon still. A month? Two months? How long will it take for her to over her cat? It could be months.

No. It's better to end it before.
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Old 19th August 2017, 7:42 AM   #18
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I don't know that I would dump somebody solely because they are going through a hard time.

However, you are not talking about ending this because of some hard time. You two already broke up got back together once during what should be your honeymoon period. You are not fundamentally compatible.

Other than you don't want to hurt her as she's about to lose her beloved cat, there is no reason to stay. There is never a good time to end a relationship but you can't stay out of pity. At most & only if you want to, tell her that if she needs a shoulder or a ride to the vet when the time comes, you would be willing to accommodate her. Being kind is never a bad thing. You can still show compassion to someone after a break up
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Old 19th August 2017, 8:40 AM   #19
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Yeah agree , she's just as troubled by things as you are and just not feeling the right stuff l'd say,

You want out , just go for it , and yeah she might even be relieved.
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Old 19th August 2017, 10:55 AM   #20
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It's not like it's going to be a surprise, the feeling is mutual so the breakup won't be an issue. As for her kitty, let her know you will lend her some moral support as a friend if she wishes to reach out.
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Old 19th August 2017, 1:12 PM   #21
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It's not like it's going to be a surprise, the feeling is mutual so the breakup won't be an issue. As for her kitty, let her know you will lend her some moral support as a friend if she wishes to reach out.
I think you are right! She seemed like she was ready to throw in the towel a couple weeks ago, no need to prolong this. She doesn't seem to be willing to make the break so I will.
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