My lesbian partner left me for a man, a pedophile registered sex offender!

[Brod1031]

To skip the back story scroll down to the paragraph starting with "2/26/17 the next day, she broke up with me"

 

Ok so I'll try not to make this as depressing as I feel. I met DSR (my ex) in 2012 she is my twin sister's ex gf's (ESR) little sister. Yes it's complicated so I'll give you the back story to not confuse you guys. My twin and ESR were together for almost 7 years with an age gap of 12 years. My twin was 20 while she was 32 when they started their relationship. The whole time they were together DSR and I never met because she lived in Miami while I lived in LA.

 

Fast forward to 2012, 8 months after my twin and ESR break up DSR became homeless and nobody not even her 2 older sisters "could" help her. Since my twin and DSR had stayed good friends she asked me if I would be willing to open the doors to my home to DSR. I didn't hesitate to say yes. I had heard her struggle stories and was compelled to help. Plus I had seen only one picture of her (2 years prior) but I was instantly drawn to her. Anyway she flew in to LA July 2012 and within weeks we were in love. DSR told me she identifies her sexuality as pansexual. At the time I didn't even know what that meant. Well it means she falls in love with a person not their gender. Although I was a little uneasy with that revelation I had fallen hard and I truly felt she loved me too. Well all hell broke loose when we told our families we were together including my twin. With everybody against our relationship we felt it was very difficult to stay living in California.

 

So I decided to take a job in Savannah GA away from our families and a 7 hours drive to Miami where DSR's 2 boys stayed with their dad. DSR was very depressed at the time one, she had left her 10 and 13 year old boys, two she had been jobless and homeless and three the worse one of all she had gotten raped by a man she met online. The rape really took a toll on her mental stability. I know, I know, she was in fact a basket case but me being a victim of child sexual abuse from as early as 4 till I was about 13-14 years old I understood her pain 1000%. By October we were settled in Savannah and being from big busy cities we loved the peace Savannah brought us. I felt that would be perfect for DSR to get better and without our family drama and it was. We we so in love and very happy together. Only she started cutting herself and not sleeping while I was working 10-11 hour shifts. Those times were very stressful but in the middle of all that we bonded and understood each other. I have delt with depression too and for the same reasons she did. Anyway she got better. Within a year she was off of antidepressants and our life got easier. Only I was being sexually harassed by my boss and to not have my fragile wife with constant anxiety I kept it from her as long as I could. Until I couldn't anymore. Idk why but I think DSR was afraid to get back out on the workfield. Maybe because she couldn't make the money she was use to being that in Miami she was a massage therapist but that license wasn't valid in GA. Whatever the case was after 3.5 of sexual harassment I was done with Savannah and getting depressed myself. Within those 3.5 years in Savannah we made 2 trips to California and she had befriended my twin's new girlfriend well that girl was no good. She was friends with DSR all while telling my sister I could do better and how I should find myself a women without kids and with less baggage blah blah blah. I had to tell her to stop. I loved DSR and I didn't care who thought what. Only I failed to tell DSR. YES I KNOW, THAT WAS A BIG MISTAKE ON MY PART. DSR told me she felt that girl was not trustworthy and kind of shady but didn't have proof. So I felt DSR intuition was right and she'd keep her distance and of course not trust her with personal stuff. By then my twin had completely warmed up to our relationship.

 

One day I get woken up to a text from my twin's girlfriend. It was a screenshot of her conversation with DSR. I honestly don't remember what was she saying exactly but I know I was devastated. I had been sick for 3 weeks vomiting and with diarrhea and she was complaining about me being inconsiderate for waking her up at the wee hours of the night using the bathroom in our room instead of going to the spare bathroom down the hall. When I say I was sick I mean I was so sick I couldn't have made it to the spare bathroom. I even had an accident one night and I'm a 31 year old whom never had a accident not even when I was a child. Saying I was sick as a dog is an understatement. I had no health insurance with a tight pocket trying to move out of Savannah. She also made me out to be a backboneless push over when it came to my twin. IT IS SO HARD BEING AN INDENTICAL TWIN AND BEING A LESBIAN. My twin finally broke up with that women but in order to stay relavent she stayed "friends" with DSR. After their breakup she started telling DSR all what my twin had said about her and basically telling her about her knowing she was mentally unstable, trips to the mental hospital her cutting problem. Oh and definitely added a lot to it including that my sister had cheated on her sister (ESR) during their 7 year relationship. Completely false!! Nobody here knows us so I have no reason to lie about that. ESR was my sister's first love and I know how much she loved her. By this point the damage was done DSR didn't trust my twin and it was a constant bashing of my twin and her shady way and how her fake she was.

 

I had become so depressed without telling her, my confidence was nonexistent with very low self esteem. I loved her so much and I would've never believed it had I not read it with my own eyes. I even did the mistake of confirming by going through her phone instead of talking to her about it. Instead of dealing with my depression I put myself on autopilot trying to move us to Miami to be with her boys.

 

My twin had started a Transportation company that was doing really well so she offered us both jobs so we could leave Savannah and although our goal was to move to Miami she offered me an account that we could manage from Miami. We were so happy. We left Savannah in July 2016 moved our stuff into a storage unit in Miami then came to LA in August. We were only supposed to stay in LA till after the new year but our plans were delayed because of over spending during the holidays and the normal moving from one state to another delays. During this time it was obvious that our relationship was in trouble and I finally broke down and told her what was wrong with me, I told her I had read what she had said about me and although she understood and apologized she was very upset I had held it in so long AND invaded her privacy by going through her phone.

 

She left to Miami the end of January 2017 and I was supposed to follow her a month later. We spoke about our problems openly but we both loved each other so in my eyes we were going to get through this. Valentine's Day we sent each other gifts instead of spending $700+ on a plane ticket being that I was supposed meet up with her in a couple weeks. February 25th we get into an argument because she starts telling me she no longer wants to get a place in Miami. She had been staying at her friends' house and it was time to get our place but she rather drive our car with all our stuff back to California. It was an argument because we had already told her boys we were getting a place and they were going to have their own room and they were so excited. After a long pause I asked her why had she changed her mind she replied saying she was was thinking how she wanted to reply. I said ok as I was use to giving her the time she needed to "process" everything.

 

2/26/17 the next day, she broke up with me. Telling me we've both tried to redeem our sisters to each other and she just can't do it anymore because that's swimming against the current. I can't say I was shocked but I though to myself "ok we love each other, we've never broken up we'll get through this. I guess you can say I was in denial or in disbelief and yes I was. She still claimed to love me and I knew I did too so "we'll be ok, we'll get through this" were my thoughts. After a week it hit me. She wasn't budging she had made up her mind and she was firm on her decision. Her oldest texted me devestated telling me he knew we loved each other and we couldn't throw our relationship away. ??? Her mother texted me everyday telling she felt us leaving Savannah was the worse decision we could've made.

 

It's been 6 months now and I've been going through the grieving process and dealing with my depression. Throwing myself into work, taking our dogs on extra long walks. Meditating, grounding myself trying to get myself out of this funk. All while still providing for her financially, since she only works part time. I let her keep the car and all our furniture. All while still in the best terms we could be in given the circumstances, of course me with the hopes she'll change her mind.

 

I was starting to come to terms with all this. I had gained the weight I had lost and was feeling I'd be ok even if she doesn't come back, but if she would I'd take her back in a second.

 

Well all my work went to **** on July 28th what would've been our 5th year anniversary. Not only was that day hard because it was our anniversary but my heart was crushed when someone sent me a screenshot shot of a man's FB profile picture where he's hugging her from behind while kissing her on the cheek, she is smiling with her eyes closed looking so I love. ???. I can't believe this. When did this happen? I didn't sleep that night. I know the feeling of temporary insanity I really do. I didn't tell her anything I couldn't! I was in shock I felt like the wind was knocked out of me. I'm not on social media like that but she still had me on her FB so I was clueless. Plus I asked her twice if there was someone else and both times she said "no". So the only information I had was a name and a city. Sacramento, California! California! How? When? Where? Sacramento is 6 hours away from LA! I still don't have answers. Yes I went insane that night and after a few hours of crying I googled his name and city. WHAM!! Another blow! In all caps his name and city REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER! In disbelief I click and sure enough his picture pops up. PC 288(a) Lewd or lascivious act with a child under the age of 14. Wtf!!! I don't get it!! How could she? She has a 15 year old and a 17 year!!! I love them! I'm so worried with so much anxiety. DSR has been a victim of rape and sexual abuse since she was 8 years old. Yesterday I confronted her and sent her the screenshot of his record from the California registered sex offender website. For her to tell me she knows that story not me and to stay out of it. A few days ago he changed his profile picture to another picture of them two dressed up looking like a bride and groom. Her account has her name with his last name. I'm being haunted by all this. I can't sleep I can't eat. I'm driving myself crazy. How do I stop my mind??? How do I stop these racing thoughts?? She met him on FB ONLINE. Just like the man that rapped her 6 years ago. Idk how to handle this. I feel like she's in a bipolar episode and I'm watching it helplessly.

[PegNosePete]

How do I stop my mind??? How do I stop these racing thoughts??

Well the first thing you need to do, is wake up and smell the coffee.

 

She has made it totally 100% crystal clear that your relationship is over, and she will never get back together with you.

 

You need to accept that.

 

And then you need to cut her out of your life in every possible way.

[Brod1031]

PegNosePete

 

I said my final farewell yesterday and blocked her from being able to contact me after realizing she knew who she was dealing with. Today I sent her a box with the rest of her belongings but that doesn't stop my anxiety and worry. It's kind of hard to find the "stop caring" button.

[PegNosePete]

Great. You can't stop caring instantly but it is the first step. Now you have to have the willpower to not respond when she contacts you. It is a long journey and every time you contact her, you will go back to square 1.

[Brod1031]

Sigh... I know. Thank you for reading and replying. This is my therapy