Oliviasmith24 Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 My boyfriend and I have been together six months and he is about to go on vacation for a week. He hasn't even left for his trip yet and I already find myself getting upset and missing him. I'm going to be busy this week as well but that doesn't really stop me from thinking about how he's going to be across the country. Is there anything I can tell myself or do throughout the week in order to take my mind off of it? I just really love him and honestly hate being without him. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 Why is it so bad to miss him? Can you still text and talk on the phone? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Oliviasmith24 Posted August 3, 2017 Author Share Posted August 3, 2017 It's definitely not bad to miss him but it brings down my mood and makes me upset sometimes. And we do text when we aren't together but not too much. I know I'm coming off as clingy and I know it's good to have space. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 It's definitely not bad to miss him but it brings down my mood and makes me upset sometimes. And we do text when we aren't together but not too much. I know I'm coming off as clingy and I know it's good to have space. Correct . Link to post Share on other sites
HarmonyDriven Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 Like you said, you will be busy too. Stay busy. Make plans with friends, family, or catch up on chores, etc.... Your boyfriend will be gone for one week.....time will fly by if you stay busy. IMO, it is healthy to think about him and miss him while he is gone. I think it is alright to tell him you will miss him but don't go overboard. You will be here waiting for him when he returns. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 Do something nice for him while he's away. Paint him a picture, make a little scrapbook, practice a new gourmet meal.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 Of course you will miss him. But when the sad thought comes into your mind, think "I hope he's having fun" & it's only 7, 6, 5, . . .days until he comes home. My husband left for a reunion with his Marine buddies this morning. I already miss him too. He'll be back Monday. I have lots planned: tonight a concert with a friend; tomorrow a festival during the day & a birthday party at night; Sunday a major house clean (without him underfoot). Monday morning he'll wake me up as he comes home. He goes away on business trips maybe once per year; I'm always amazed at how time flies. I don't even get done everything I planned. I do end up working late most nights when he's away because that takes my mind off things. Do not expect to have as much contact with him as you enjoy while he's home. Keep your side of the conversation focused on how much fun he's having rather than how lonely you are. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 Take any free time you have and pamper yourself by doing all the things you never have time to do when he's there. It is normal to miss your lover when he is gone and it's only going to be a week. That goes by so fast. Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 Work late, go out with friends, take a walk by yourself, cook yourself nice meals, think about how he'll be happy there and be happy for him:) ... But being in the same situation with a new guy that I just started dating (and I'm smitten with ) - the only thing that helps for real is when we make a few exchanges in the day It makes me so happy when he shows me parts of his adventures. You've been dating for a while so you can talk on the phone, text, chat just keep it in moderation My boyfriend and I have been together six months and he is about to go on vacation for a week. He hasn't even left for his trip yet and I already find myself getting upset and missing him. I'm going to be busy this week as well but that doesn't really stop me from thinking about how he's going to be across the country. Is there anything I can tell myself or do throughout the week in order to take my mind off of it? I just really love him and honestly hate being without him. Link to post Share on other sites
2much4 Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 Do you live together? If not, you're probably not going to see him much less than if he was around. You probably both have to work, have friends and family.... If you subtract all the time you don't spend together anyway, he's actually not gone for very long. Link to post Share on other sites
kortz Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 All the things you want to do but can't/don't when he's around...do those!! As much as I loved spending time with my ex, whenever she had to go on a business trip I'd love the 'me' time I got from it...I don't know if it's different for guys and girls but it was a chance to catch up on all my tv shows, eat pizza and not do the dishes, go out for drinks with friends and colleagues, have a few good long sessions in the gym. Don't get me wrong, I'd still be happy when she was back but it's nice to have some space every now and then for a few days. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted August 5, 2017 Share Posted August 5, 2017 Skype/FaceTime. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Oliviasmith24 Posted August 8, 2017 Author Share Posted August 8, 2017 My boyfriend is on a trip with his friends this week and originally I was pretty upset and jealous that he is having fun while I'm at school. Today I learned that this trip is a pretty big drinking trip and I feel pretty disrespected. We talked about it today and in a fit of anger and hurt I broke up with him. I just feel as though when you are in a relationship, you shouldn't even desire to want to go binge drink in different cities. I will probably be upset with myself for breaking up with him but my feelings about it are really strong. Was I wrong to do this? I know personally that I wouldn't care to go on a trip like this with my friends. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 8, 2017 Share Posted August 8, 2017 It's not fair to expect someone to give up their friends for you or their lifestyle. Pick someone with a lifestyle you like and can participate in next time, but don't expect him to give up his friends. That's very selfish. Now, if you have good reason to believe he's out carousing with other women, that's a separate issue, but he could do that right under your nose on his way to or from school or work and he doesn't have to go out of town or out with friends to cheat on you if that's what he's about. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Oliviasmith24 Posted August 8, 2017 Author Share Posted August 8, 2017 It's the drinking that bothers me. Why do you need to go binge drink and go out to bars if you're in a relationship that you're happy in? When I go out with my friends I'm home by midnight because I'm bored and don't have a reason to be in a bar really. I can do other things with my friends besides get drunk. Link to post Share on other sites
Ieris Posted August 8, 2017 Share Posted August 8, 2017 Being in a relationship and binge drinking are two separate things, people don't have to choose one or the other. Just because you don't enjoy it.. it doesn't mean others can't. You're trying to control him which isn't right. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Oliviasmith24 Posted August 8, 2017 Author Share Posted August 8, 2017 Why do you even need to do that if you have a girlfriend back home? I understand having a couple drinks but when he gets that drunk it makes me feel like he doesn't care Link to post Share on other sites
umirano Posted August 8, 2017 Share Posted August 8, 2017 My boyfriend is on a trip with his friends this week and originally I was pretty upset and jealous that he is having fun while I'm at school. This may make long term relationships quite rare for you. I don't care much for (binge) drinking either, but breaking up over it? Seems a bit extreme, don't you think? What's done is done. It doesn't sound like the relationship was very deep and stable otherwise. Wash your hands over it and move on, you will easily find a better match. Next time try talking to the guy first, you may find your relationships last a bit longer and will develop some actual depth. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 8, 2017 Share Posted August 8, 2017 Why do you even need to do that if you have a girlfriend back home? I understand having a couple drinks but when he gets that drunk it makes me feel like he doesn't care I can't begin to understand why you think him getting drunk on a boys week has any reflection on his feelings for you and the relationship. He's just having fun with his mates. IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU. Sure, it would be disrespectful to go on an all nighter when you're waiting at home for him to walk in the door at 4am, but going away is the perfect time for him to let loose. The world does not revolve around you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 8, 2017 Share Posted August 8, 2017 Is this the on again/off again boyfriend where your anxiety has become a problem? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Oliviasmith24 Posted August 8, 2017 Author Share Posted August 8, 2017 We've been together 6 months now and I get that it's not a very long time but I guess I just have different values than he does. He gets drunk to a point where he blacks out and sorry but how can I stick around for that behavior. I used to party like that too but since we started dating I've cleaned my act up. Link to post Share on other sites
umirano Posted August 8, 2017 Share Posted August 8, 2017 I find it hard to believe that simply blacking out once was the reason. Have you fought about it or similar things before? Did he break a compromise or promise? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Oliviasmith24 Posted August 9, 2017 Author Share Posted August 9, 2017 He blacks out most times that he drinks. We are in college so it's pretty common I guess. It just worries me and I do sometimes feel like I'm trying to control him but I really do love him. I do want him to have fun with his friends but he doesn't understand that I just wish he could tone down his drinking like I have because I don't want anything bad to happen to him. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 9, 2017 Share Posted August 9, 2017 He blacks out most times that he drinks. We are in college so it's pretty common I guess. It just worries me and I do sometimes feel like I'm trying to control him but I really do love him. I do want him to have fun with his friends but he doesn't understand that I just wish he could tone down his drinking like I have because I don't want anything bad to happen to him. OK, what you're writing now is very different to your opening post where you dumped him just because he's drinking on a boys weekend away. If the big picture is that he's getting blackout drink very frequently and it's having an impact on the time you're spending with him, then it's a perfectly good reason to end the relationship. And it's only controlling if you're telling him how to behave. If you're simply saying that your lifestyles aren't compatible and you leave, then it's about your compatibility rather than control. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
rightondude Posted August 9, 2017 Share Posted August 9, 2017 Why do you even need to do that if you have a girlfriend back home? I understand having a couple drinks but when he gets that drunk it makes me feel like he doesn't care I'm guessing he does it because of the same reason his buddies do it. Because it's a hell of a lot of fun!!!! And now's the time to do it. So what, he went away for a guy's weekend to have a blast; trust me, when you get old, this is the kind of stuff you remember (even if you black out). Let's see, 5 years down the road: "why does he need to watch football when I'm here???" 10 years down the road "why does he have (some stupid hobby) while I'm here???" Trust me, if you love this guy, and you want him to love you back, you'll quit the nagging and give him some space. He doesn't do this because he doesn't love you. He does it because it's a good time and he enjoys it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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