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-   -   Breakup because of my beta neediness...way to recover? (https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/630653-breakup-because-my-beta-neediness-way-recover)

sumiron 21st July 2017 6:43 AM

Breakup because of my beta neediness...way to recover?
 
So as I wrote in this thread:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/roma...nking-about-us

she changed her attitude toward me, no contact from her side, later rare contact, she once told me to not talk to her like "honey".
I asked "why, you liked it before".
She replied "now times are different, do you think we are the same as before?"
So i replied that no, that it looks like she want to dump me but has no courage to tell me about it.
And some more text...
and i finished it with sentence that it is to painful for me being in this doubt, and that i have to end it now and wish her all good in her life.
She replied that she thanks me for this message and wish me the best.

And since then no contact, about month.
Now, i know that this relation was great in the beginning, but i was too needy.
To much I said "i love you" to her while she only was telling me that she needs time.

Is there any way to recover it in future?

d0nnivain 21st July 2017 11:30 AM

You can't recover this relationship but you can learn from your mistakes & not make them again in a different future relationship.


Being sweet does not make you "beta." You can be confident & kind. You simply need to find your confidence.

sumiron 21st July 2017 1:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by d0nnivain (Post 7371210)
You can't recover this relationship ...

why i cant?

springy 21st July 2017 1:57 PM

Because it appears she has lost interest and the relationship was so short lived there isn't any foundation upon which to rebuild. And it looks like in the two months you only met physically once and after that meeting she started to fade out. She tried to break it off properly but you avoided returning her messages because you knew what was coming. So at some point you do chat, she doesn't want you calling her pet names. You end it, she said "thanks". Silent since.

I'm sorry but there is nothing there to work off of that I can see.

d0nnivain 21st July 2017 1:57 PM

She already lost feelings & respect for you. Anything you do now to chase her will only confirm in her mind that you have limited value & she was right to break up with you. Sorry.


I am not saying you have limited value. I am saying she thinks that which is why she will not take you back.

preraph 21st July 2017 2:01 PM

Just don't get in a hurry next time. And one easy rule if you have a tendency to go overboard and also move too fast is to let the other person set the pace and don't give any more than she is. So as an example, don't start giving gifts unless she has given you some small thing, and then only do it small in line with what she did. Don't start saying "I love you" as in a habit because it feels like you're just pressuring her. If she falls for you down the line, you'll know it and feel it and have no doubt, and then once she demonstrates it, then you say you love her, but not constantly because that is too needy. It's like you're playing at being in love but not really in love but desperate for the attention.


So better luck next time.

sumiron 21st July 2017 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by d0nnivain (Post 7371335)
She already lost feelings & respect for you. Anything you do now to chase her will only confirm in her mind that you have limited value & she was right to ..

I am not saying about doing smth now, but in the future.
Like in a year or 2 from now if i wont be with different girl.

dumbass2 22nd July 2017 12:34 AM

Sure, anything is possible. Forget about her for now and work on yourself and maybe a few years down the road you two cross paths again. Just don't hold out hope for that happening.

d0nnivain 22nd July 2017 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sumiron (Post 7371688)
I am not saying about doing smth now, but in the future.
Like in a year or 2 from now if i wont be with different girl.


I suppose anything is possible but I think you would be better off just finding a new relationship. Backwards is not a great life direction


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