Someoneee Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 Hi! So.. I don't know where to start. Me and my bf dated for 1 year and 7 months. But he recently broke up with me for good, i know that because we haven't spoken since then and it's been a month. It was kinda unhealthy relationship.. we used to argue ALOT and he used to yell at me and insult me, he would treat me bad but i love him more than anything. Because the relationship was so toxic we would break up before.. usually he would break up with me but after a day or two he would write me again and we were back together. But 2 months ago he broke up with me again ( a little after a year and a half) and we would speak for a week and in this time there was a guy that came to my place to teach me math and when my ex found out about it we would want me back.. and we stayed together for another month and then he broke up with me again (this is now-1 month ago).. and idk what to think about it.. always when we got back together he would tell me how much he missed me, how he was attached and how he couldn't eat/sleep and listen to music and that he would always think about me (that's also what he told me the previous breakup). And now, since he broke up with me there's no contact beetween us and idk what ro think. How can he suddenly change his feeling so much? And act like i meant nothing to him? I miss him so much and it hurts so bad.. what do you think about it? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 what do you think about it? I think he has done you a huge favour by dumping you. It sounds like a terrible relationship. Every victim of abusive relationships says "...but I love him". WHY??? He treats you terribly. You should not love him. You should have dumped him long ago. Now he has done you a favour and set you free from the cycle of codependency and stopped you from wasting any more of your life on a relationship that is going nowhere. You should be thanking him (in your head - don't thank him out loud). So now you need to move on. If he contacts you again, don't respond, unless you want to get back into the same old cycle all over again. Which believe me, you don't. You need to get some self esteem and some confidence. Make friends, have a makeover, join the gym, take up a new hobby. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Someoneee Posted July 13, 2017 Author Share Posted July 13, 2017 Trust me, i know.. but it's been one month and i cry everyday.. it's hard to see that he doesn't care anymore Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 Trust me, i know.. but it's been one month and i cry everyday.. it's hard to see that he doesn't care anymore Cry every minute if you have to but your pain and hurt doesn't justify going back to a relationship like this one. "he used to yell at me and insult me, he would treat me bad" Doesn't seem like he cared before either -- start focusing on what you really had with him. Link to post Share on other sites
New2this1 Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 Hi! So.. I don't know where to start. Me and my bf dated for 1 year and 7 months. But he recently broke up with me for good, i know that because we haven't spoken since then and it's been a month. It was kinda unhealthy relationship.. we used to argue ALOT and he used to yell at me and insult me, he would treat me bad but i love him more than anything. Because the relationship was so toxic we would break up before.. usually he would break up with me but after a day or two he would write me again and we were back together. But 2 months ago he broke up with me again ( a little after a year and a half) and we would speak for a week and in this time there was a guy that came to my place to teach me math and when my ex found out about it we would want me back.. and we stayed together for another month and then he broke up with me again (this is now-1 month ago).. and idk what to think about it.. always when we got back together he would tell me how much he missed me, how he was attached and how he couldn't eat/sleep and listen to music and that he would always think about me (that's also what he told me the previous breakup). And now, since he broke up with me there's no contact beetween us and idk what ro think. How can he suddenly change his feeling so much? And act like i meant nothing to him? I miss him so much and it hurts so bad.. what do you think about it? Multiple break-ups are definitely tough. I was in a relationship where I was the dumper way too many times. Something about the relationship was off. The demands and expectations were too high or me and my needs didn't seem to get met. I broke up with him because I got tired of the name calling and the way he thought of me. I felt that if he felt that way about me, then why was he with me. If he thought I was a liar and a cheat, then why would he want to be with me. If it were reverse, and I felt the way he did, I wouldn't want to be with him. Therefore, I broke up with him. Then, I would miss him and get back together. Things would improve a little, the name calling lessened but didn't stop. Ultimately, there was no trust. So I broke up again. Now, I'm really trying to stay NC but have failed miserably. He went silent and stopped contacting me. I'm assuming it was because he's dealing with it. Stay strong and don't contact him. Believe me, it's best. He'll think about you even more and wonder what you are doing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Someoneee Posted July 13, 2017 Author Share Posted July 13, 2017 Thank you all for advices and i know it's for the best like that., i just gotta get over but it's hard after being everyday with him and then it all just disappears. He used to be my bestfriend too, and that's probably the reason the pain is so difficult. He also knows that i was out with a guy last week (his sister saw me) but it doesn't seem to bother him, he just disappeared Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 Thank you all for advices and i know it's for the best like that., i just gotta get over but it's hard after being everyday with him and then it all just disappears. He used to be my bestfriend too, and that's probably the reason the pain is so difficult. He also knows that i was out with a guy last week (his sister saw me) but it doesn't seem to bother him, he just disappeared He wasn't your best friend. Best friends don't call you names and treat you badly. Don't confuse toxic familiarity with a healthy and nurturing bond. You're romanticizing him and your relationship. You established an unhealthy attachment to him -- that does not make him your best friend. He's disappeared. That's a good thing. How long do you think you could have gone on with constant break-ups and mistreatment? He's probably fed up as well. You should be too. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 Hi! So.. I don't know where to start. Me and my bf dated for 1 year and 7 months. But he recently broke up with me for good, i know that because we haven't spoken since then and it's been a month. It was kinda unhealthy relationship.. we used to argue ALOT and he used to yell at me and insult me, he would treat me bad but i love him more than anything. Because the relationship was so toxic we would break up before.. usually he would break up with me but after a day or two he would write me again and we were back together. But 2 months ago he broke up with me again ( a little after a year and a half) and we would speak for a week and in this time there was a guy that came to my place to teach me math and when my ex found out about it we would want me back.. and we stayed together for another month and then he broke up with me again (this is now-1 month ago).. and idk what to think about it.. always when we got back together he would tell me how much he missed me, how he was attached and how he couldn't eat/sleep and listen to music and that he would always think about me (that's also what he told me the previous breakup). And now, since he broke up with me there's no contact beetween us and idk what ro think. How can he suddenly change his feeling so much? And act like i meant nothing to him? I miss him so much and it hurts so bad.. what do you think about it? How can he suddenly change his feeling so much? And act like i meant nothing to him? Because the relationship was so toxic he used to yell at me and insult me, he would treat me bad He didn't love you . . . more than likely, he loved the convenience of you. You were putting all of yourself into the relationship and getting nothing in return. It was easy for HIM and the fact that you allowed yourself to be a doormat, he's going to continue this dance. And you don't love HIM, you love who you wish he would be . . . there was a guy that came to my place to teach me math and when my ex found out about it we would want me back. -- He's "territorial", I'd say. He doesn't really want you but he doesn't want anyone else to have you either. Let this go for your own sake. This is exhausting. Don't be a doormat. Pick up that mat and close the door for good. Link to post Share on other sites
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