itsdinaah Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 So my ex and I broke up almost two weeks ago. This guy added me on Snapchat a few days before ex and I broke up. I didn't know he was and thought it was another guy I knew. Anyway I didn't even start talking to him until after the ex and I broke up. This guy used to pester me every day about hanging out and I told him I didn't want to hang out because I just got out of a relationship. I ignorned most of his messages. Finally it got so bad that I told him to leave me alone and I knew he was only here until the summer ended. Somehow my ex found out and blew up. I told ex that I had deleted every guy from my life and before we broke up. He called me a liar and told me I was a mistake. And insinuated that I was being a whore and how I was easy prey. And how he didn't even care anymore. He also demanded to know who told me that guy was moving. I told the ex that I didn't even start talking to this guy until AFTER we broke up and I would show him text message proof if he wanted. * I told him that I wasn't even dating this guy, I had no intention of ever seeing him. I just needed some new friends. I told him how hard it was to get over him and I haven't even hung out with anyone apart from my family since the breakup. He told me that there's a difference between getting over someone and being "easy". And he never texted me back after that. I haven't said anything to him since the last message I sent, it's been 4 days now. I'm so hurt. I don't even know what to do. I dont want him to think I'm this horrible person. Link to post Share on other sites
healing light Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 I told ex that I had deleted every guy from my life and before we broke up You had to delete every male from your life for this man? No male friends? His response to you sounds abusive, he sounds controlling, and I think you should be more worried about getting away from him than him thinking you are a horrible person. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author itsdinaah Posted July 9, 2017 Author Share Posted July 9, 2017 (edited) You had to delete every male from your life for this man? No male friends? His response to you sounds abusive, he sounds controlling, and I think you should be more worried about getting away from him than him thinking you are a horrible person. I didn't have to delete them. It was the guys who liked me, not necessarily guy friends. I still talked to my guy friends and still do Edited July 9, 2017 by itsdinaah Typo Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 10, 2017 Share Posted July 10, 2017 If I had a dollar for every poster I read here who would have said to him "She was doing him behind your back! She left you for him!" I'd be a rich woman. Your post beautifully dictates that these posters - and your boyfriend - are guilty of making appalling assumptions. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted July 10, 2017 Share Posted July 10, 2017 Meh... Just ignore him, you're not together anymore. I mean, if you were talking to this dude a week after your break up, I could understand why he would be upset. You two just broke up and you didn't even give time to mourn the loss of him or the relationship. Thus, it could have been seen as you really give a damn about what you had with him... But, this isn't even the case. You know the truth, you told him the truth and if he can't accept it, then that's his problem, not yours. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted July 10, 2017 Share Posted July 10, 2017 So my ex and I broke up almost two weeks ago. This guy added me on Snapchat a few days before ex and I broke up. I didn't know he was and thought it was another guy I knew. Anyway I didn't even start talking to him until after the ex and I broke up. This guy used to pester me every day about hanging out and I told him I didn't want to hang out because I just got out of a relationship. I ignorned most of his messages. Finally it got so bad that I told him to leave me alone and I knew he was only here until the summer ended. Somehow my ex found out and blew up. I told ex that I had deleted every guy from my life and before we broke up. He called me a liar and told me I was a mistake. And insinuated that I was being a whore and how I was easy prey. And how he didn't even care anymore. He also demanded to know who told me that guy was moving. I told the ex that I didn't even start talking to this guy until AFTER we broke up and I would show him text message proof if he wanted. * I told him that I wasn't even dating this guy, I had no intention of ever seeing him. I just needed some new friends. I told him how hard it was to get over him and I haven't even hung out with anyone apart from my family since the breakup. He told me that there's a difference between getting over someone and being "easy". And he never texted me back after that. I haven't said anything to him since the last message I sent, it's been 4 days now. I'm so hurt. I don't even know what to do. I dont want him to think I'm this horrible person. Why in the world do you feel that you have to justify/explain or even otherwise, discuss what you are doing with YOUR life now????? He does not have the right to question your choices and activities. I dont want him to think I'm this horrible person -- If he does, he has a very distorted and inappropriate, immature thought-process and attitude. Keep up with No Contact. This is completely out of line behavior. Was he this controlling while you were in a relationship with him? There's something wrong with HIM, NOT YOU. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author itsdinaah Posted July 10, 2017 Author Share Posted July 10, 2017 (edited) Why in the world do you feel that you have to justify/explain or even otherwise, discuss what you are doing with YOUR life now????? I dont want him to think I'm this horrible person -- If he does, he has a very distorted and inappropriate, immature thought-process and attitude. Was he this controlling while you were in a relationship with him? No he wasn't that controlling when we were together. I told him since the beginning the majority of my friends were guys and he was fine with it. I broke up with him because he didn't make time for me and always had a million excuses for why we couldn't go on a date and if I didn't text or call him we wouldn't talk for a week. He even thought that I was leaving him for someone else when we broke up. I was hoping we could have stayed friends somewhere down the line because it was a pretty civil breakup and he's best friends with my best friend. But I realize we can never be friends, especially after this. Edited July 11, 2017 by itsdinaah Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 Why are you even talking to your crazy ex? Just tell him to get stuffed, and block him in every way possible. EVERY WAY. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 You have got to stop letting your ex even talk to you. Who CARES what crap he's making up in his mind? He can't accept that it just didn't work out and wants to make you into the bad guy. Seriously, he called you a bad things, a very bad thing, and you should NOT give him an opportunity to do it again. Block him from all social media and your phone and don't even go look at his social media either. You need to stop letting an ex make you feel bad. The goal is to stop caring what he thinks anymore and especially to stop letting him manipulate you into feeling bad. He sounds very toxic. Tell him it's none of his business and block him. Please. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 He broke up with you and now he's pissed you have relationships outside of him and that you might/will <gasp> date other men and pursue other relationships. It's none of his business! He broke up with you, remember? You are a free bird to pursue whatever men you wish to pursue, and they could be bad men or good men, but he gets no say. This is one worthy of deleting from all social media. You are no longer a couple, and unless you share children together, where your personal choices affect him and your children in a negative way (or his choices affect you and yours), he gets no say...at all...whatsoever...end of story. Don't let his nasty words break you down. He seems to not want you, but wants to keep you from being with anyone else - psycho jealousy. If you have no bonds that require continued communication, block and delete. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author itsdinaah Posted July 12, 2017 Author Share Posted July 12, 2017 The funny part is I broke up with him but because he didn't really care about our relationship or making me happy. We unfollowed each other a couple of days after we broke up. I haven't spoken to him in almost a week. Is it necessary to block if I don't feel like either of us will contact each other? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 Is it necessary to block if I don't feel like either of us will contact each other? Unfollowing still allows him to see some stuff trough mutual friends. If you want to close the window so he has no insight into your activities, your friends need to unfollow him & you need to unfollow his friends too. Plus block him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 Is it necessary to block if I don't feel like either of us will contact each other? What reason do you have to NOT block him? What is the downside to blocking him? Blocking is free and there is no restriction to how many people you can block. Block block block all day long. It's amazing how much better your life is when you're not afraid to use the tools that have been given to you for free. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 The funny part is I broke up with him but because he didn't really care about our relationship or making me happy. We unfollowed each other a couple of days after we broke up. I haven't spoken to him in almost a week. Is it necessary to block if I don't feel like either of us will contact each other? I don't feel like either of us will contact each other? -- How either of you a feeling right now, may be different in a few days, a week, a month from now. You will experience various emotions/anxiety/temptation for a while. So it's best to protect yourself from being tempted to reach out, look at FB, etc. It's a matter of safeguarding. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whatnot Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 The funny part is I broke up with him but because he didn't really care about our relationship or making me happy. We unfollowed each other a couple of days after we broke up. I haven't spoken to him in almost a week. Is it necessary to block if I don't feel like either of us will contact each other?Read the above post again itsdinaah. The dumper always feels strong right after excersizing their power. That may not last. (actually....I can assure you it will not....) My ex refused to see me from December through Easter of last year. After Easter I told her I was "taking a break myself'. Talk about a hissy fit. my gosh....you'd a thunk I hit her over the head with a 2x4. This stuff always works both ways. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author itsdinaah Posted July 13, 2017 Author Share Posted July 13, 2017 I don't feel like either of us will contact each other? -- How either of you a feeling right now, may be different in a few days, a week, a month from now. You will experience various emotions/anxiety/temptation for a while. So it's best to protect yourself from being tempted to reach out, look at FB, etc. It's a matter of safeguarding. I've blocked on every social media outlet that I use and from texting/WhatsApp. I was kind of hoping for an apology or him to realize he was wrong but seems highly unlikely. I'm also gonna keep up the no contact rule and just focus on myself for a bit. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author itsdinaah Posted July 13, 2017 Author Share Posted July 13, 2017 Read the above post again itsdinaah. The dumper always feels strong right after excersizing their power. That may not last. (actually....I can assure you it will not....) My ex refused to see me from December through Easter of last year. After Easter I told her I was "taking a break myself'. Talk about a hissy fit. my gosh....you'd a thunk I hit her over the head with a 2x4. This stuff always works both ways. Were you in contact with her after the break up? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whatnot Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 Were you in contact with her after the break up?No. I told her...."I'm going to take a break myself. If you try and contact me I will not respond". I had to put that second sentence in for my own sanity. I'd spent 7 years waiting on her call. It was the only way I had of breaking myself of that habit. That's been over a year ago. (It's worked lol) good luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author itsdinaah Posted July 13, 2017 Author Share Posted July 13, 2017 Thank you everyone for your helpful suggestions. I was blaming myself for doing something wrong but I realized he's the problem, not me 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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