Torn apart

[Lovelost2017]

I feel at a loss. Especially since I feel like I've just lost everything I hold dear to me.

 

My ex and I were together for almost a year. We moved in after a couple months of dating as it was the right timing and felt so right to wake up next to each other.

 

Ever since we moved in we did nothing but fight and argue and yell at each other. We would go out and we would fight. And then we would make up.. it seemed like a forsure thing that if we were to go out and have a couple drinks we would fight over what the other person said or did.

 

He called it quits a week ago and we still live with each other due to my new lease not starting until the first of August. I feel completely torn apart. I'm not sleeping well and I'm not eating much. All I want to do is throw my arms around him and make it all better. We had an arguement the other night about how he questioned if I actually loved him and as I'd be in my computer a lot working on my finances or playing the odd game. I admit I'd push him away as all I'd want after work is 5minutes to be alone. I was stressed about work, money and I start school again in the fall.

 

I'm not sure why he would question how I felt for him as I was pretty good at showing how I feel when I love the person.

 

Now that I get to see him everyday before I move out it is tearing me apart. We have so much distance between us it gets awkward at times and with us now going to be living in the same building due to cheap rent I want us to remain as respectful and close as possible. I don't want him out of my life as that only makes things worse thinking that would be the fine straw on my emotional level. I've already lost the man I love physically and emotional but to lose him in the sense of never seeing him again makes me incredibly sad.

 

Has anyone been where I am? Is there any advice that will help to lessen the pain? I still love him and I don't think that feeling will go away anytime soon.

[Seth0194]

Sorry to hear it, you are in a hard situation. But you need to get out ASAP for your own sanity and self preservation. Some fighting happens as we all know but when it becomes the focal point of the relationship, we call it toxic. You need to go No Contact with him. It takes time, sleeping and appetite will return, but you need to stay busy right now while you sort this out. Friends, reading, gym, movies, shows, anything you can do while you get use to your situation.

 

As for getting back, do not look to another person for your happiness, happiness comes from within. Learn to love yourself as much as you love him, he does not care you are hurting, in fact it sounds if he is kicking you more while you are hurting, if he cared or loved you he would not being doing that, he would be reaching out with a gentle touch, not a whip lashing tongue.

 

Prayer, remember you owe to yourself to be happy.

[Superchicken]

Your all messed up here. You on one hand say you love him so much, yet, you shun him while playing a game or on the PC ?.

That ticks me off. My wife did the same crap on me. However, I told her she better change how I was treated, or ... what your guy is doing now !.

I was lucky however. Seems you weren't.

 

 

So, I can only suggest a few things.

The first, apologies for everything. Regardless of who's to blame.

Once his blind sighted, you need to get him to sit down with you and go over both your issues, and how best you each can contribute to fixing it.

If he cant contribute, its OVER. same goes for you.

 

 

Example.. A hug and a kiss every now and then with the words "I Love you" go a long way to subdue anger..

 

 

Meet in the middle, and sort out why you guys are arguing without arguing.

 

 

 

 

Ted.

[Lovelost2017]

Unfortunately Love has been lost here. He went away to see his family and I didn't see him for about a week. He's decided we are done and he doesn't want a relationship.

 

To this day the biggest thing I will ever regret is us fighting and me leaving for work without a goodbye kiss, a hug and having the chance to say I Love You.

 

I will never again have the chance to utter these words to him. As I type this I'm on one side of the couch and him on the other. We make no contact and no small talk. I can't financially afford to move earlier and he's been nice to have me stay here until I can move. We make dinner for each other and he still makes me lunches for work. Maybe things will be easier once I'm officially moved out and maybe things will get better but I'm not holding my breath.

 

I have no family to turn to and very little friends I can rely on so I'm basically in this alone. I'm confused, tired and slightly feel like I'm going crazy!

[Blanco]

I wince every time I read someone say they moved in with a romantic partner after only dating for a few months. At that stage, you really don't know the person. Living together is a whole other ballgame, and it can be incredibly challenging sometimes, even for couples that have meshed well together previously.

 

I do think people should live together before getting married, just to get an idea of what that live will be like. However, I also think it's not something to rush into, no matter how "right" it feels.