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Did I Lose Her For Good


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 6th June 2017, 3:20 PM   #1
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Did I Lose Her For Good

This is my first time posting on something like this, but I'm doing it to heal and refrain from reaching out.

My ex and I dated for 8-months, lived together for 5 of them. Things were great and nobody made me happier; however, a certain ADD prescription would drastically change my personality creating a hostile, confrontational and downright weird person, which is totally unlike myself at any other time. She hated when I took it, but given years of the prescription and job stress from start-up life I continued to take it. Overtime this led to abusing them and not even being productive, but as the intake increased my personality changes worsened, I was beginning to not even recognize myself.

A month or so before the end she had enough, but gave me the opportunity to go back to my parents cross-country and recover while she waited. I went home and kind of blew that off and spent time with friends rather than facing my problem. After a few weeks home I returned, and within only a few days I broke my promise to myself and her and went back to my old ways.

I did everything I could to try to hide it, even masked taking them with alcohol when I knew I would be heading home to see her, on top of attacking her for accusing me (I guess a weird defense mechanism). This led to a huge fight, ultimately kicking me out.

I am not mad at her at all and completely understand why she made her decision, she has a dependent and put her foot down on an issue and I refused to respect that.

(the information below all occurred within 20-days)

I returned to my parents and began seeking the help that I needed. Talking for the first week or so was filling with apologies from me and me trying to 'fix' things, and her saying she wants to remain broken up, but will be there for me if I needed anything.

A few days without talking went by and she called because she missed me, at this point I acted on emotion and began blowing up her phone. I could tell I was pushing her away, but just thought I could say the right thing to change her mind, even though I know that if she were to come back it would be because I've made the changes and it is what she wants. I was then blocked, panicked and began calling from my family landline or *67ing my own number, this lasted 2-3 days. Before I heard that the number has been disconnected. I tried sending a few emails and social messages for the next 3-days, no reply. The last message I sent was saying when I would be returning in a few months and I would like to get coffee or lunch if that is something you would like.

I'm really hurting, 2-months ago we were discussing engagement, she was my best friend and I chose a pill over her. I should have taken what she said seriously.
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Old 6th June 2017, 3:25 PM   #2
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None of us can answer your question, but one thing's for sure, the only chance you do have to get her back is to stop doing what you're doing and get yourself healthy. Behaving the way you are now is a guaranteed fail.
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Old 6th June 2017, 3:27 PM   #3
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Maybe you'll learn something. Maybe you won't. That's up to you.

Like they say you never know what you had until it's gone.

If she wasn't gone up front your inundating her after probably finished this off.

Fix yourself for any future relationships if you're smart
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Old 6th June 2017, 3:28 PM   #4
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Thank you for the reply, I am now seeing a counselor and working out as well as working without them. This is all recent, but I know I am taking the time and steps I need in order to recover. I guess I am so ashamed of myself and having a I can't believe this happened to me moment.
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Old 6th June 2017, 3:29 PM   #5
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Very true, I never thought she would leave. I respect her for putting her foot down, but afraid I really broke everything for good.
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Old 6th June 2017, 3:30 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JP2015 View Post
My ex and I dated for 8-months, lived together for 5 of them. Things were great and nobody made me happier;

I'm really hurting, 2-months ago we were discussing engagement, she was my best friend and I chose a pill over her. I should have taken what she said seriously.

You didn't chose a pill over her. You took prescription medication to address your ADD. I'm not sure why you felt is was OK to mix that prescription with booze. Perhaps look into that


I think part of your problem is you both moved too fast without a proper foundation. You never should have even discussed living together until you had been together for at least a year. To be discussing marriage at the 6 month mark seems irresponsible to me.


Slow your pace in your next relationship. The hypersonic speed killed your relationship not your condition or your medication.
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Old 6th June 2017, 3:33 PM   #7
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I can honestly say, that pill when abused will change you and the aftermath of taking it single handedly wrecked things.
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Old 6th June 2017, 3:34 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JP2015 View Post
I can honestly say, that pill when abused will change you and the aftermath of taking it single handedly wrecked things.
Do you have a prescription for it? Were you taking more than you were supposed to?
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Old 6th June 2017, 3:42 PM   #9
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I did have a prescription but I also went through multiple other people's as well.
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Old 6th June 2017, 3:44 PM   #10
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I'm embarrassed to say but that pill became my priority and unless I could find it I had no motivation to do anything.
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Old 6th June 2017, 4:53 PM   #11
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I guess my question is do you think if I get myself together and healthy again is there a chance to even reconsile
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Old 6th June 2017, 6:39 PM   #12
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Well, at least you learned something, which is that no one wants to deal with an addict. And you're getting help. Follow your dr's instructions exactly. You do not know better than him/her.
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Old 6th June 2017, 7:15 PM   #13
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Very true, and very unfortunate it reached the rock bottom point, but yes it was a huge eye opening experience and I will never take that path again and follow exactly what's suggested.

I guess if she will never want to speak to me, I will understand.
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Old 6th June 2017, 7:17 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by JP2015 View Post
I guess my question is do you think if I get myself together and healthy again is there a chance to even reconsile
Impossible for the interwebs to answer for you, but I wouldn't think it would be completely out of the realm of possibility. <3
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Old 6th June 2017, 7:28 PM   #15
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She's a forgiving person and I know she is happy that I'm taking these steps as well as misses me. I wouldn't really want her to meet me again until I am recovered and hopefully that allows for a fresh start.

I don't know if this is the place to do this, but I know I'm going to be wanting to reach out at times, and was hoping to vent on here. I know nobody here knows me and that's ok I'd rather things be confidential, but all support is greatly appreciated.
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