Those very rare cases when girls just want Sex

[Beatris]

Hello, everyone!

 

I am going to explain shortly my situation:

More than a year ago I met a man. He spent several months trying to convince me to go on a date with him. From the very begining, I knew that he was not right for me but eventually I agreed. I didn't like anything else related with him except his appearence. So, there was no a second date. He wrote me everyday using social media and at some point in time he started talking to me about sex. I enjoyed our chats for months when I had free time. He litterary said to me a lot of times that he was a master in the bed and one day I decided to give him a chance to proove that. It was an amazing evening.. We continue communicating in the same way. He left ball in my hands, so I had to initiate our next meeting. When I invited him again after a month he accepted emediately and everything was great. I felt very nice with him and I just wanted something simple which included Amazing sex.

 

After his second visit in my home we hadn't seen each other for several days. While chatting he told me that I looked youger than I was and more exactly about 18 years old (I am 24). I answered him that he was not the only one who thought that I looked youger. (In fact, most people don’t believe me when I say what my age is.) Then he said something that annoyed me - "Well, I know. Every man wants a beautiful girl who doesn't spend a lot of money". I blocked him and didn't answer his calls almost two days. Then he called me from another number and asked me what the problem was. I answered him some very stupid things - I told him that I realized that the pleasure he had with me didn't cost to him any financial expenses (like presents, paying bills, going to the theatre etc. and I hope that he understood that I meant those things) as well as that I didn't care about that fact because it was only sex to me. We talked about 20 min and then I made my second mistake – I invited him to come in my home in the same evening. He said that if he could he would call me. I said not to do so and closed the phone. Almost immediately, he wrote me a text message saying that I hadn’t understood him correctly about what he had said - “Every man wants a beautiful girl who doesn't spend a lot of money”. He said he meant our first date when he paid the bill and it was not a big one (is this a good thing according to you?) Then, my next mistake – I answered to his text message that I realized that every man wants to be on his place, and there was no need for him to inform me. I also stated that I would prefer to accept some of the sure invitations that I generally received from other men to the possibility of waiting for him to confirm if he was going to come or not (I thought in fact he had other plans for that evening).

 

Now, I haven’t heard from him for four days. I think that what he meant saying that I look younger was actually not my face but my behavior.

 

In some strange way, I care for him and I am scared that he has put the end of your "“relationship”". I do miss him and want to fix what happened but I don’t want to put myself in an uncomfortable situation.

 

What is your general opinion about my story? How do you think he is probably feeling about me? How do you think he would react if I send him a text massage?

 

A lot of thanks to those of you who read my post and gave me from their time!

I would be very grateful if you express your opinions!

[Goodguy05]

Hello, everyone!

 

I am going to explain shortly my situation:

More than a year ago I met a man. He spent several months trying to convince me to go on a date with him. From the very begining, I knew that he was not right for me but eventually I agreed. I didn't like anything else related with him except his appearence. So, there was no a second date. He wrote me everyday using social media and at some point in time he started talking to me about sex. I enjoyed our chats for months when I had free time. He litterary said to me a lot of times that he was a master in the bed and one day I decided to give him a chance to proove that. It was an amazing evening.. We continue communicating in the same way. He left ball in my hands, so I had to initiate our next meeting. When I invited him again after a month he accepted emediately and everything was great. I felt very nice with him and I just wanted something simple which included Amazing sex.

 

After his second visit in my home we hadn't seen each other for several days. While chatting he told me that I looked youger than I was and more exactly about 18 years old (I am 24). I answered him that he was not the only one who thought that I looked youger. (In fact, most people don’t believe me when I say what my age is.) Then he said something that annoyed me - "Well, I know. Every man wants a beautiful girl who doesn't spend a lot of money". I blocked him and didn't answer his calls almost two days. Then he called me from another number and asked me what the problem was. I answered him some very stupid things - I told him that I realized that the pleasure he had with me didn't cost to him any financial expenses (like presents, paying bills, going to the theatre etc. and I hope that he understood that I meant those things) as well as that I didn't care about that fact because it was only sex to me. We talked about 20 min and then I made my second mistake – I invited him to come in my home in the same evening. He said that if he could he would call me. I said not to do so and closed the phone. Almost immediately, he wrote me a text message saying that I hadn’t understood him correctly about what he had said - “Every man wants a beautiful girl who doesn't spend a lot of money”. He said he meant our first date when he paid the bill and it was not a big one (is this a good thing according to you?) Then, my next mistake – I answered to his text message that I realized that every man wants to be on his place, and there was no need for him to inform me. I also stated that I would prefer to accept some of the sure invitations that I generally received from other men to the possibility of waiting for him to confirm if he was going to come or not (I thought in fact he had other plans for that evening).

 

Now, I haven’t heard from him for four days. I think that what he meant saying that I look younger was actually not my face but my behavior.

 

In some strange way, I care for him and I am scared that he has put the end of your "“relationship”". I do miss him and want to fix what happened but I don’t want to put myself in an uncomfortable situation.

 

What is your general opinion about my story? How do you think he is probably feeling about me? How do you think he would react if I send him a text massage?

 

A lot of thanks to those of you who read my post and gave me from their time!

I would be very grateful if you express your opinions!

 

Wow i dont know why ud get hung up on such a small thing like that obviously it touched a sore point. It's easy it's misunderstanding. To over come that it's easy u tell him how that made u feel etc hurt or watever the case may be and he'll hopefully apologise problem solved that's all u need to do lol good luck

[EmilyJane]

So despite the title you clearly do want more, or at least for him to be smitten with you or why get all panty twisted about it all over a relationship forum.

 

You seem to have got upset at him for thinking he was glad you had sex with him without having to buy you stuff then wanted him to want to buy you stuff...?

 

I honestly wouldn't be in such a rush to be treated like a hooker but there is room for many types of people I guess...

 

I think what's happening is you slept with him because of all the chasing he did, you were flattered by the attention but now he's got what he wanted then a little bit of chick crazy he's ghosted. Guys that pursue that hard for sex despite rejection and make comments about cheap dates do often vanish after getting what they want because they are mostly in it just for the bedpost notch and it does leave you feeling a bit empty and tricked if you aren't extremely clear on your own motives beforehand. Because they are all about getting their ego boost and their... I have no idea how to say the next bit without getting banned but you get the idea. They assume you are the same and/or don't care if you aren't.

 

And you aren't honey, no matter how much you put up a good front your instincts and emotions betray you and you want to sleep with men who will stick around and who will love you.

 

My advice is to honour that and chalk this one up to experience, I do not think you want just sex although you might not be ready fir a relationship either, next time take the time to make them work to earn your trust and the right to sleep with you, wait until you really really want to do it and are completely comfortable.

Edited April 14, 2017 by EmilyJane

[OatsAndHall]

It seems like you are giving out a lot of conflicting information here.. You said that you were only attracted to the guy physically but that you want to mend the "relationship". In my mind, you don't have a relationship, you have a FWB.

 

You just wanted a sexual relationship with him but became up set when the topic of dating protocols came up (spending money..) and you didn't like his response. I think that his response was childish as many men aren't looking for cheap, easy women. But again, why bother getting upset and blocking his number if you're only sleeping together? In fact, why even go out on dates if you're just sleeping together? Visit each other' places, sleep together and call it good..

 

I think that you have become more emotionally attached to this guy without realizing it. I also think that you have blurred the lines between physical and emotional intimacy because the sex was good. So, take a step back here and think about what you would be missing by not seeing this guy.. You'd lose good sex but you also wouldn't be dealing with the hassle of a guy who pursued you relentlessly (boundary issues), called you on a different phone after you blocked him (MORE boundary issues), and told you he was looking for a cheap lay.

 

Yet another reason why I avoid FWB relationships like the plague. They get messy fast.

[SoleMate]

This isn't FWB. Friends with Benefits implies that there was an actual friendship with mutual warm feelings. But since....

I didn't like anything else related with him except his appearence.

....this was just 2-time f***-buddies thing.

 

I recommend you stop seeing/boffing this individual and focus on getting your own values and goals clear. Most women don't just want sex. Even the most sex-positive and carefree typically want it with a nice, kind, courteous and respectful individual, not an annoying and insulting twit.

 

Or, second possibility, if you have to continue to **** with him, I recommend you stop sharing conversation because he is truly untalented in that area.

[Beatris]

Thanks for your answer.

Firstly, maybe you haven't read my post carefully. The problem is that he stopped calling me and I feel sad because of that fact. Now I don't know how he would react if a call or text him. Most importantly, I don't want to feel even worse in case he repel me.

Wouldn't be silly if I call him and just tell him "Hey I want just want to have sex with you."?

Edited April 14, 2017 by Beatris

[harrybrown]

Be sure of what you really want.

 

But after thinking about it, if that is all you want, go ahead and contact him.

 

But if you want more, be sure to communicate what you want.

 

Honesty is important in relationships.

 

If he says yes, good for you.

 

but if he says no, do not worry.

 

There are many others that would take your offer. do be careful.

[Beatris]

Thank you!

I am realizing that those things don't sound very logically. Still, I know I want exactly him. What and how could I say to him that I miss him without sound desperate?

[OatsAndHall]

Thanks for your answer.

Firstly, maybe you haven't read my post carefully. The problem is that he stopped calling me and I feel sad because of that fact. Now I don't know how he would react if a call or text him. Most importantly, I don't want to feel even worse in case he repel me.

Wouldn't be silly if I call him and just tell him "Hey I want just want to have sex with you."?

 

Honestly, I don't think you're going to be blown off if you approach him like that. It doesn't sound like he has any issues sleeping with you, regardless of the conflicts.

 

With that being said, I wouldn't even bother if I were you. The guy sounds like a total tool. The situation seems way too complicated and messy as he's acted like an a--. To be blunt, you can hit up the OLD sites and find plenty of guys that are just looking for sex and go from there.

[Beatris]

Let's forget about other guys.

He already "blown me off" when he called after I had blocked him. Then I invited him but he maybe had another work or just wanted to give me a lesson and rejected to come. I know what I feel, but I don't know what he thinks and why he said those things after he was trying to get into my bed for more than a year. And finally, what to say to him so that not to lose my dignity.

Those are the question which answer I am looking for.

[Purepony]

This might not be the answer you want but move on!

 

He doesn't care enough to stick around and if the sex is that amazing fine someone else to fill the void

 

This ones probably married or has a gf or just doesn't care !!!

 

Don't lower yourself to his level by calling him and offering sexy! That's just sad and low

[preraph]

This is where the rubber meets the road. You don't want the guy really but you can't help taking some things personally and letting yourself get emotionally involved. If you are going to just have sex with someone, don't ever just chat with them on the phone or social media. Just see them to have sex and that is it. The way it worked for me is there was no planning. If we ran into each other at a good time, off we'd go. No relationship. I did date one guy for awhile but we hit the wall conversationally and it got dull and then without speaking about it we began doing the "sex only" if we ran into each other and for a number of years.

 

If you want more than sex, you need to pick someone suitable to have more than sex with and not allow yourself to be doing all that communication. It's like leading him on.

 

Reverse this situation making yourself a guy and him a woman and it will quickly put into focus the reality of the situation. Every woman I know has gotten singled out for just sex by guys over and over and then wonder why things aren't progressing. Because he doesn't want anything else.

 

But you can't keep up a banter with someone and expect "just sex" to work.

[spiderowl]

I think it all started to go wrong when he left the ball in your court (so to speak). By doing that, he was expecting you to take the initiative to contact him. If you did, he knew that he had you available to him at his bidding. It was his way of testing to see how keen you were on him. Now that he knows you will try to meet up with him, he feels he can mess you around.

 

 

What he said to you was not tactful. He might not have meant it badly though. By taking it badly and assuming the worse, you probably scared him off. If you start to cut him off erratically when he does not know what is wrong, he will lose confidence in being able to make you happy. Of course, he could be a jerk who deserves to lose you - we just don't know.

 

 

So assuming that the relationship or FWB has had some communication problems, I would definitely not contact him yourself. He must take the initiative now, but if he does, be pleasant but not leaping all over him. Give him chance to show you he is one of the good guys. It does sound like he was all about sex and wanted to show off his prowess. Maybe that's all he wanted. But, if you want this guy back in your life, do not chase him. He is almost certainly expecting you to so he can call you his 'crazy ex'. If you happen to meet him in public somewhere, be pleasant but a bit distant. If he knows he can approach you without you getting upset, maybe he'll try again. I would not expect anything romantic with this guy though as he has not really shown signs of wanting that.