Jadey Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Here is my story in full if you want to read it http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t61476/ Anyway, in short, my first PROPER boyfriend dummped me out the blue. The reason is still unclear to me and when i ask him he tries to avoid answerin it and we end up argueing. But one thing he DID amit to wos that it scared him when i said it probably wouldnt be long untill we have sex. I explained i would have beenwillinging to wait but its like talking to a brick wall. The thing is afew days before i said that he told me how he wanted to loose his virginity to me everntually and did i. I said that i did. We had so much fun together and he couldnt stop hugging me and kissing me and txting m, etc. We were laughing at how were gonna make this one guy that fancies me jealous by kissing and all kinds of silly things like that. We basically planned our future together. Then he had to go and stay round his nans for a week he wos really pissed cos he said hed miss me so much and he txt me every night to let me know hes thinking about me and missing me and how he just cant wait to see me. Then the day he got back we were back at svchool after the easter holidays and he wos ignoring me! I wos really sad but didnt say anything. Then the next day wos the same and my best friend got him and asked why he wos ignoring me. He said to me he doesnt think we should be together anymore cos his feelings have changed then walked off. I called him the next night and he said he knows hes probably made a mistake. And it sounds like a big but but he wont tell me the but! The bit that im really trying to get to is i have to see him everyday at school and alot o my friends are his friends too. So how is no contact an option? PLUS i really really want him back and dont see how no contact is going to get him back? I cant imagine not contacting him. But the thing is i will admitt he has me right wrapped arounf his finger, the balls in his court. I cant make my mind up how to be. Do i just be honest with him or do i avoid him or wot?? Id also like to add there is a girl at school who hes been friends with for years that has now decided she likes him in a romantic way ( ) and wont leave him alone, she flirts with him constantly and it would break my heart if they got together. I leave school in 2 months and he stays on so maybe then NC would be an option but for now is it the right thing to do? And is it even an option? Please help! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jadey Posted May 2, 2005 Author Share Posted May 2, 2005 Please someone answer i dont know wot to do! Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 The bit that im really trying to get to is i have to see him everyday at school and alot o my friends are his friends too. So how is no contact an option? PLUS i really really want him back and dont see how no contact is going to get him back? I cant imagine not contacting him. But the thing is i will admitt he has me right wrapped arounf his finger, the balls in his court. I cant make my mind up how to be. Do i just be honest with him or do i avoid him or wot?? Id also like to add there is a girl at school who hes been friends with for years that has now decided she likes him in a romantic way ( ) and wont leave him alone, she flirts with him constantly and it would break my heart if they got together. I leave school in 2 months and he stays on so maybe then NC would be an option but for now is it the right thing to do? And is it even an option? It's hard to do NC when you see them everyday. Plus, you say you want him back and you think NC will not help you do that. NC is a way of getting over someone who you have feelings for so you can move forward with your life. It sometimes is used to make someone jealous so they will miss you and want you back in their life. It is an effective tool if used for the right purpose. In your case I don't think NC would be helpful because you want him back. Communication would probably be the best if he will talk to you. If not their isn't much you can do. If someone won't talk to you, and you try to force it, you can blow the whole thing. I think you have to let him come to you. I would smile and say hi when you see him and let him know your still intersted and want things to work out. I would not try to make him do anything he doesn't want to do. You can try to get your friends to help you with this and see if they can smooth things between the two of you. Maybe he will talk to one of them. You have to make up your mind what you want before deciding on a course of action. If you decide to break things off then just avoid him and go about your business. If you want him back then smile and be happy to see him and see where it leads. I think that is your main two courses of action. Good Luck.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jadey Posted May 2, 2005 Author Share Posted May 2, 2005 Marshbear. Thsnks alot for replying and notn just saying "get over him" I think your advice is probably correct. I thought bout the no contact thing and i dont really think he is the right kind person and in the right situstion for it, for now. I do think he still have feelings for me by the way he looks at me etc, and just the way that it ended. I think hes just confused also he has lots of family problems his dad is abusive and still lives with him, i think that takes its toll on him. And maybe tht means that there is quite a good chance he will come back. Hes already told me that i know more about him then anyone else and he said this when we werent together. So i guess thats something! I think i will just be nice to him and smile, say hi etc, and hopefully get him back as a friend first like we were before we got together and take it from there. I keep thinking to myself "wot do i think i done to make him like me in the first place" and i remember things he said he loves about me..Like when i laugh, when i brake into song out the blue, when i smile, etc. And playing on them ;)That cant hurt right? I am still very scared about the girl that keeps flirting with him, atm its basically like a competition between me and her who can win his attention I dunno wot id do if they got together and i had to see them everyday. I ahve one more question...wot do i do about txts and phone calls? Do i bother with them every now and then or just wait till i see him at school? We dont hardely talk at shcool atm. But wot do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 I would take his lead. If he calls or texts you then respond. If not I wouldn't contact him other than saying hi or smiling. Yuo have to let him make the move... Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts