Olivesn Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 (edited) I made a thread about this before for my case, but things have gotten worse on a macro level. I liked a girl, we were close, had plans for valentines. Day of she tells me she met some guy at the bar and took him home. I was devastated, tried to get her back, realized I was compromising my self respect and let her go politely. Second girl is room-mate with first girl. Known each other for over a decade. They both live right across from a bad. Started dating one of my best friends, two and a half years, he was always there for her. Sunday night she dumped him when he tried to get her to stop drinking(she was already drunk with the other girl) and they wanted to go to the bar still. Started getting hit on by guys at the bar, he followed and tried to get her to come home. She ran away into the bathroom with some other girls, they did cocaine. Girl I liked was beyond drunk and making out with the guy that she met at the bar the prior week. He finally confronts her outside when she goes to smoke, her friends tell him to **** off and to let her have "fun". She tells him to **** off too and dumps him just like that. He's been in shock all week and hasn't been at work. We still both care about these girls and even though I wouldn't take the one that dropped me for the bar guy, I worry about her. She already got raped once by three guys because she was drunk and is now hanging out with this guy and his friends all the time. And my friends girlfriend...we thought she'd been getting better, but clearly she's closer to the long time friend and has now escalated to doing hard drugs as well. In both cases they blamed us for why they left us. The first said I was too distant, and the other said that my friend was trying to tell her how to live her life. :/ I'm pretty much over mine as we never officially dated or had sex, but I don't know what to do for my friend except be there for him. And when I talked to this girl today, she basically used the same excuse her friend did when she threw me out. I feel like they just want to have their "fun" while my friend and I are trying to build our futures. But I don't know why they're trying to destroy our self esteem in the process and blaming us instead of just stating the truth. Edited March 3, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language ~T Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 The Big City is chock full of these slow motion train wrecks., In any case, there isn't a lot you can do but to step aside and let them crash and burn. Leave the mess for law enforcement and the county coroner to clean up. If you want to have a chance at meeting higher quality women, join a church... the local bar isn't the proper venue for anything but cheap hook ups now a days... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Olivesn Posted March 3, 2017 Author Share Posted March 3, 2017 The Big City is chock full of these slow motion train wrecks., In any case, there isn't a lot you can do but to step aside and let them crash and burn. Leave the mess for law enforcement and the county coroner to clean up. If you want to have a chance at meeting higher quality women, join a church... the local bar isn't the proper venue for anything but cheap hook ups now a days... I wasn't looking to date. I'm starting up my own business and have a million things on my plate. This girl came to *me* and I told her straight up that I don't hook up, am saving myself for someone who I trust(not necessarily want to marry) and wasn't sure if it'd work because of her drinking. I had trouble trusting her because I felt that she wanted to just take my virginity and then bail. In the end...I guess I was kind of right. She left me in a heap of misery and started bringing the guy from the bar around when she knew how I felt. I just forgave her and moved on. But I don't want her to die, get cancer, or end up getting ****ing raped again. DO you know how hard my stomach fell when she told me that? And she *still* drinks like an idiot, hangs out with chain smokers and guys that no offense, I think I'm better than. Is there anything I can say or do to show her that even if I don't care to be wit her anymore, that she needs to ****ing stop before something worse happens? I can't believe they're taking hard drugs now too. Link to post Share on other sites
Bromeo Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 (edited) I wasn't looking to date. I'm starting up my own business and have a million things on my plate. This girl came to *me* and I told her straight up that I don't hook up, am saving myself for someone who I trust(not necessarily want to marry) and wasn't sure if it'd work because of her drinking. I had trouble trusting her because I felt that she wanted to just take my virginity and then bail. In the end...I guess I was kind of right. She left me in a heap of misery and started bringing the guy from the bar around when she knew how I felt. I just forgave her and moved on. But I don't want her to die, get cancer, or end up getting ****ing raped again. DO you know how hard my stomach fell when she told me that? And she *still* drinks like an idiot, hangs out with chain smokers and guys that no offense, I think I'm better than. Is there anything I can say or do to show her that even if I don't care to be wit her anymore, that she needs to ****ing stop before something worse happens? I can't believe they're taking hard drugs now too. Brother, people are people. I got caught up in white knight syndrome, and look where it got me? Lol If she wants to be there, in that environment, with those mopes, let her be. The only thing we can control is ourselves. Edited March 3, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language ~T 1 Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 Hi folks, did a little clean-up here as we had gotten quite a bit away from the original topic. Those wishing to continue the general discussion on rape and rape culture can do so in the appropriate areas. Thank you ~T Link to post Share on other sites
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