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Getting Over Being Cheated On


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Somehow this thread got moved and combined with two others. Starting a fresh thread...I've posted a couple of times through this situation. Most recently yesterday about trying to do the right thing. For those not following, the man I was dating for 7 months had 3 other women. One that was his ex. One he was in love with. One on the side in his hometown. And one of convenience, me... I wouldn't doubt more.

 

Everything imploded about 2 and a half weeks ago and we have all been in contact in one way or another. We know he lies. And he continues to lie. He is verifiably pathological. At first it was just 3 of us, and then a week ago the 4th showed up...

 

I have been trying to move on. I've received countless good words of advice. But I can't let go of the hurt. And some days rage. I had put myself back out there on a dating site until yesterday, when he showed up as a prospective match and showed online. He's not even here! He's deployed halfway around the world! I couldn't believe he was still out there hunting again. And I had to wonder if the ex knew. She had called me crying one night and I consoled her through a very uncomfortable half hour and she had asked me to tell her if and when I knew anything. So I contacted her, but this was all talked about in my recent "Thought I was doing the right thing" post.

 

I swore I would never allow something like this to happen to me again. I was with someone for 10 years and i ended it because of his cheating. With this last guy, I can look back and see the red flags, but while I was in it, I had no idea. Neither did any of them! I've been so hurt and there's no consolation. And I can't get it out of my head. He's in a memory. He's attached to the places I go to retreat. He's in a song. He's on the same dating site! And in the midst to all of this MY EX actually showed up after 5 years of not talking right in the thick of it all to boo hoo that he has cheated on his last woman of 4 years. The timing is impeccable. And it's just too f**k*ng much!

 

Everyone has been deleted. Everyone has been blocked. I just want it all out of my head! Never to have existed. I want to move on, but I haven't moved. Help.

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Gaeta. I saw your post in the combined thread. Thank you for your encouragement. And I love your thought of girlfriends, family, and icecream. The icecream part is easy. The complicating factor is I am thousands of miles away from family and friends. I'm pretty isolated. I have a few girlfriends here but none I can really lean on. I'm working on an exit plan to leave this job and this place, but in the meantime, I feel pretty on my own dealing with this mess.

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I think I hit my peak when I last posted. Almost like a fever finally breaking. My perspective has completely shifted and I'm on the mend... For anyone going through a similar situation where they found themselves lied to and cheated on, I found this article that helped me make sense of it. I will post this in the other thread as well...

 

https://www.google.com/amp/hellogiggles.com/reasons-never-saw-the-cheater/amp/

 

If the link doesn't work, Google Sarah May Bates without being vengeful

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