Breakup with no closure?

[umlily]

Hey,

 

So I'm new to this site. I don't really know how to word these, but I'll just jump right into it. I was in a long distance relationship with this guy and I lost count but I think we had been dating for 8 months but had been talking for around 10 months. So we've been talking almost every day for almost a year now. Keep in mind I'm 18 years old so this relationship was probably my first "real" relationship. Before I start my rant, I just want to say, he's a nice guy. Maybe that's what I'm confused about the most. He was raised by his grandparents and is hardworking and just really, really genuinely nice.

 

Anyway. Flash forward to a few days ago, he comes to visit me in my home town to celebrate Valentines with me a week late. Everything is fine, he's a bit quiet but I assume he is tired from his long drive so I don't take too much notice, other than being slightly hurt when I get short answers like "yup". But like I said, I assume he's tired and I'm just really happy I get to spend time with him.

 

The night goes as normal; we go out to dinner, watch movies, kiss and all that jazz and go to sleep. The next morning he's even more off; we go to breakfast, neither of us are talking much, he takes me home, kisses me goodbye and tells me I'll see him next week and calls me babe. And then he leaves back to his home town earlier than I had expected. Two hours later he calls me and says we need to talk, pretty much says he hasn't been honest with me and that the distance makes it hard (yet we see each other almost every week for at least 3 days) and he's got a lot of pressure on him at the moment with family, work, friends and me. He says he's too busy and I deserve someone who will give me more attention than he does. He pretty much comes up with a million and one excuses (we don't have the same interests, it didn't have anything to do with me, it was all him, so essentially the classic "it's not you, it's me" line but less cliche).

 

He then tells me we can take a week apart without calling or texting, so we can think about it and when I'm visiting family in his home town next week we can sit down and talk about how we feel then. So by then I've still got a little bit of hope for us, even though he broke it off with me over the phone after dating for almost a year. But I check his facebook the next morning and his relationship status says single - I know this is a really stupid & millennial thing to be upset about but I thought we were taking a week to think about it.

 

/endrant. Sorry if none of that made sense. My head is all over the place and I'm confused and really hurt. I'm not sure what I'm hurt about the most - him not having the decency to tell me how he was feeling to my face, or the fact that he knew he was going to break it off and he still slept with me that night. I'm not sure what advice I'm looking for here. I just need some words of wisdom or something to get me through the next week without being sad about this...Thanks

[d0nnivain]

Alas, you are never going to get closure from him. Even if he actually knows why he's breaking up with you he doesn't have the words or the guts to tell you.

 

 

My best guess is there is a new girl on the horizon who lives closer.

 

 

I'm sorry you are hurting. Eventually you will find closure in yourself but as you face each heartache that inevitably comes your way in life, you will never get closure from the other person.