its been 4 months since breakup and 3 months NC.

[Lizrd3000]

Hello again, back after a long time I wish I'd never have to see you guys again.

 

I'll make it short, Sort of need to vent but also need a link or some advise or whatever.

 

I had to break up with my girlfriend who I dearly love and care for, but it was literally slowly killing me. But now, I can not live with the guilt and sadness that overflows me suddenly, at work, at home, at the dinner table. I just start ****ing crying like a 14 year old girl. I'm a male by the way.

 

I have never had someone close to me die as of yet, this is the most heartbreaking event in my life. this hurts even more than having been cheated on, as I could blame myself for my shortcomings. (i know, just forget I've said that.)

 

I never wouldve imagined breaking up being actually harder on me than being cheated on/getting broken up with. How do I cope? its beben 3 months NC. I miss my love so much, and I know she misses me, but we can not continue. I want to die quite honestly. I've also been abusing my ADHD medicine the past few months, it helps shutting up my pain but I eat it like candy so I don't have to feel the way I do.

 

Please help me, I'm slowly killing myself abusing the meds. I do not want rehab. I need a way to fix this by myself, I don't want to let people know.

Maybe schedules and new goals or whatever. I've been playing video games constantly only.

 

Help.

[kevinjinha]

You really need to let those emotions out. Find somebody to talk to, I'm dealing with the same situation as you. Except I was the one that got dumped. You abusing your medications is not good and you know that yourself. Breaking up with someone is extremely painful. I understand how you feel and I'm sure so many people on here do as well. Just know that you're not alone. The pain and suffering you are feeling right now is only temporary. Time will heal you, even if you believe it or not. I assume you're not ready for another relationship, but when the time comes, you'll find someone that's even better and more amazing than your past.

 

How I cope is that I go on walks or drives. I listen to the worst kind of music and I just cry everything out. Don't stalk her on Facebook or anything. It's just going to bring you more pain. Practicing no contact is extremely difficult as well, but you've been broken up longer than I have so you'd understand more!

Best wishes man. Breakups are horrible. This is the first time I've experienced this feeling too. Never got dumped in my life I did the dumping. I felt a sense of rejection and loneliness. But know this, this too shall pass. I wish the best for you man.

[umirano]

I'm also four months post BU. I get how you feel. I had a great January, the past week 'she came back', today I even dreamed of her. Absolutely distract yourself, anything will do. Work, get another job if you have to. Pick a new hobby, find someone who needs your help with a project, do you have a friend or a family member who's renovating a house, or a caravan? Exercise. And yeah, find someone to talk to. Rant about ex if you must, just get your thoughts out. Write down a monologue with your thoughts on the situation.

[Lizrd3000]

Thanks for the kind replies guys, I appreciate that.

It just sucks man, I feel very depressed, the advice to go out and actually do something does not inspire me at all, I'm at a point where I just don't really care anymore. Even the meds, I feel my heartbeat getting very out of rythm lately, and I just don't really care. I feel slightly alarmed that I don't care, but dont care afterwards. It's hard to explain, really.

 

I really dont want another relationship in my coming years up to late 20's. currently turning 22 in 2 months.

 

I also feel as if I can absolutely NOT move on quicker than she does, I just can't. I dont want to do that to her, even though I'm pretty sure I'm the one hurting the longest in the end without even trying. I take value in loyality way more than the average person around me does, that might be a problem right now. I take pride in it though.

 

Anyyyyway. NC is not hard for me. I know we will connect somewhere in the future, will it be next year or 20 years. I know that I will always care for her and love her, and vice versa. we just gotta get over this ****ing mess.

 

Also, I broke up, but don't think I feel pity. I am just as heartbroken about this as a dumpee. I hope she knows this aswell. That she's not alone. man **** tonight

 

Thanks again for the replies. looking forward to perhaps even more support and advise :}

[Lizrd3000]

I'm also four months post BU. I get how you feel. I had a great January, the past week 'she came back', today I even dreamed of her. Absolutely distract yourself, anything will do. Work, get another job if you have to. Pick a new hobby, find someone who needs your help with a project, do you have a friend or a family member who's renovating a house, or a caravan? Exercise. And yeah, find someone to talk to. Rant about ex if you must, just get your thoughts out. Write down a monologue with your thoughts on the situation.

 

I have become very derpessed and ''broke up'' with my main group of friends, I couldnt take any single bit more than my ex. I blew that up. It ****ing sucks but its my fault. I've pushed all my friends away. I dont really need friends at the moment though. If I can't fix this situation by myself thhan I don't really fix it anyway annd just rely on others. I do write poems and i should go back to the gym again.

 

Thanks man

[umirano]

Call one of your friends, to go for a beer. Mostly friendships can be reactivated with ease if you show genuine interest and haven't wronged them in a serious way. People will want to help when they feel you need an ear of someone to listen to you. Don't give up friendships over some broad.

[Lizrd3000]

Call one of your friends, to go for a beer. Mostly friendships can be reactivated with ease if you show genuine interest and haven't wronged them in a serious way. People will want to help when they feel you need an ear of someone to listen to you. Don't give up friendships over some broad.

 

ah theyre not directly related, i pushed them away because I'm depressed. and you are right, to be honest. im just overwhelmed, im fine being alone for now.

[umirano]

No I didn't think so either, indirectly however you let your sorrows dictate your social life, and that's maybe not the ideal way of handling things.

 

I understand your appreciation for alone time. I'm not constantly hanging out with friends either, but I try to see close friends about once a week, especially in these first months after BU, and I keep it short, 2-4 hrs.