Stages of heartbreak

[Khiatt9]

Im curious what have you all experienced in the ways of different emotions after a break up. I was in deep sadness, I still have crying spells every now and then, not every night like right after, and now Im just angry at him and I feel that I could very well hate him. This makes me question whether I loved him. I have to talk to him ( I talk to him as little as possible) because we have a child together. I wish I never had to talk to him again. Everyone tells me I need to start dating but I feel numb to everyone that shows interest. I think that if I never dated anyone again I would be fine, but I realistically know that I have other "needs" that need to be met. I want to know what everyone has experienced and get thoughts on others if this was normal?

[Telemachus]

To the greatest extent possible, ignore your feelings for him. As to dating, caring for your child should be your primary concern in life. When your child is fully cared and provided for, and you find that you have extra time on your hands, then your mind may turn to dating and to romantic thoughts about people whom you know or meet going forward.

 

Ignore people who are telling you to date. Going on a date isn't going to do anything positive for your child, it would be solely for your benefit.

 

There's no right or wrong to feelings. We feel what we feel. What we're fully responsible is our actions. If your sadness or post-breakup feelings are getting in the way of your doing what you need to do, of fulfilling your responsibilities and commitments, then that's a problem. If you're still fulfilling your responsibilities as a parent, and you're meeting all of your other commitments, then those negative feelings are probably not as significant as they may seem.

[SSun]

All of your feelings are valid and feelings of hatred are likely to be evidence for love that existed rather than evidence for love that never existed. You are hurt and have every right to be angry and you should date when you are ready and there really is not timeline for that. I'm single by choice as I just don't feel 100% ready and am enjoying sitting with myself. I think it varies for everyone but it is normal to be uninterested in seeing someone new at least initially after a breakup.

 

 

 

Im curious what have you all experienced in the ways of different emotions after a break up. I was in deep sadness, I still have crying spells every now and then, not every night like right after, and now Im just angry at him and I feel that I could very well hate him. This makes me question whether I loved him. I have to talk to him ( I talk to him as little as possible) because we have a child together. I wish I never had to talk to him again. Everyone tells me I need to start dating but I feel numb to everyone that shows interest. I think that if I never dated anyone again I would be fine, but I realistically know that I have other "needs" that need to be met. I want to know what everyone has experienced and get thoughts on others if this was normal?