JasonBourne Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 (edited) Recently I've been having excessive thoughts about an ex that broke up with me two years ago. After we broke up we had a few to-and-fro arguments until one day we had one and haven't spoken since - that was a year ago. We got on, but we were both harbouring feelings about the relationship/break up. Anyway. Recently, I've been really thinking about her a lot, and I do miss her. I want to contact her - to say what, I don't know - and I am starting to feel a bit low about being rejected by her, even though it was ages ago. I'm confused as to why this is happening as I didn't really think about her much before. She's with someone else, and I feel quite envious towards the new person. I feel like they've 'taken' my life (which is probably highly irrational). My ex told me, when they got together, that he was 'nice' and that she didn't want to meet up with me in case she did anything that would ruin it for them - she also told me that if it wasn't for him, she and I would be together. Obviously these things might have been meaningless, but they're going round in my head. I also know that she is checking my social media accounts - would she do this if she had forgotten about me? I do want to contact her, but I'm afraid of the reaction. I feel like such a mess and I have no one to talk to about this. Deep down I hope that she must still think about me, as we lived together and we shared so much. I'd love to message her and tell her how I feel, but she isn't really the sensitive type. There is literally no one else I can discuss this with, and it's painful. IT's HER I want to talk to about this. This is crazy, I feel like such a mess. Edited February 21, 2017 by JasonBourne Link to post Share on other sites
Author JasonBourne Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 That's a shame, I was really hoping for some discussion on this. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 My ex told me, when they got together, that he was 'nice' and that she didn't want to meet up with me in case she did anything that would ruin it for them She's telling you that she does not want anyone or anything to jeopardize her relationship with this man. Respect her request. There is literally no one else I can discuss this with, and it's painful. IT's HER I want to talk to about this. This is crazy, I feel like such a mess. You don't seek comfort from the person that causes you pain. Talk to a friend. Your mother. A colleague. A sibling. Seek a therapist if you have to. You need to move on from her. Link to post Share on other sites
LitTunnel Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Bro, you're going to set yourself up for major failure. Especially if she's in a relationship, don't do it. You need to deal with your pain in another way like just being here on these boards, or going on dates and meeting someone new. Believe me if you met an awesome girl you would quickly forget about your ex, don't you think? So this is your loneliness talking. It's hard, believe me. I would love to speak with my ex too but there's no chance. We're all in it together man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Dude, your ship has sailed. She is happy with the new guy. Why would you want to jeopardize it? Move on already. She has. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JasonBourne Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 She's telling you that she does not want anyone or anything to jeopardize her relationship with this man. Respect her request. You don't seek comfort from the person that causes you pain. Talk to a friend. Your mother. A colleague. A sibling. Seek a therapist if you have to. You need to move on from her. She didn't respect me when she left me for him, did she? Link to post Share on other sites
keiji Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 She didn't respect me when she left me for him, did she? Depends on how she did it. But she said she wants to be with the guy and doesn't want to do anything that may ruin her relationship, or at least that's how she felt back then. I think you should forget it. Dwelling in the past is bad enough, but it sounds like you're bound for disappointment to say the least. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 She didn't respect me when she left me for him, did she? Respecting that decision only protects you from getting hurt. I don't know how she broke up with you but if the relationship ended because you both grew apart, then that's the risk with relationships. If she treated you badly and disrespected you, then all the more reason to stay away from her. Link to post Share on other sites
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